
Parenting Big Kids (5-8) Support Group
This community is focused on the joys, challenges and concerns faced by parents of big kids (5 to 8 year olds). The major areas of child development include: physical development, perception and sensory development, communication and language development, cognitive development, emotional development and social development. Join to share your stories and get advice.
I am so deeply sorry for each and everyone in your family.
A friend of mine lost her youngest son a few years ago on Thanksgiving day,I had moved a few years earlier and we had lost touch, she searched until she found me, but the only thing I could offer is my shoulders and ears.
Maybe start a new tradition of planting a flower or tree in their memory each year,or make an hour to sit aside to tell good memory's of your daughter on Thanksgiving, Christmas.Get old pictures out.
My husband And I lost our dad's 9 months apart, so we use Christmas Eve as a sharing time. (Iam starting to cry) We exchange a gift. He gets me something in rembrance of my dad and I do the same thing for him.For years, because they both loved the out doors we did items for the flower beds etc. But this year I want to start their own Christmas tree and get ornaments each year.
No matter how long it is how much time goes by we still miss them terrible.
We just find ways to keep their memorys alive.
It is so fresh to you all my heart hurts for you. God Bless you and you will be in my prayers. I am soooo sorry for your pain.
You and your family are in my thoughts and any time you need someone to talk to I am here.
My father and brother died just years apart. My mother and I received counseling. It helped to go through the motions. But, the one thing that was most beneficial to me personally was understanding and EMBRACING the grieving process; DENIAL AND ISOLATION(let yourself do this but not for long-learn to accept that yes this has really happened and life has to and will go on), ANGER (let yourself cry, let yourself experience it---this one helps sooooo much in moving forward...for me it helped to cry in order to not get mad or irrational), BARGAINING (or WHY DID THIS HAPPEN? I'll do anything to change what has happened, usually w/ god...this one I didn't experience strongly), DEPRESSION...speaks for itself, ACCEPTANCE (finding life after grief).
I fully believe you have to let yourself FEEL the way you are going to feel about it. Embrace it but don't let it take a firm grip and own you. Don't hold back b/c getting to acceptance will take longer.
My son experienced a death of someone he was close to not too long ago. Children experience grief a little differently. The first stage seems so difficult for them but time heals them better and with us time hurts us more later until we accept it.
I found letting him cry himself to sleep for several nights and reassuring him that it was ok to be sad and angry helped him accept it. Now, he recalls him often and smiles at the memories he has of his instructor.
Hope this helps....best of wishes to you and your family.