Parenting Big Kids (5-8) Support Group

This community is focused on the joys, challenges and concerns faced by parents of big kids (5 to 8 year olds). The major areas of child development include: physical development, perception and sensory development, communication and language development, cognitive development, emotional development and social development. Join to share your stories and get advice.

692 Members

1,138 Posts

0 Online

dsf95 09/10/2013

My daughter has always wanted a dog, but my husband is allergic and has asthma. We bought a standard poodle puppy in July. He has been wonderful. But she has always been rough with him. She treats him like a kid brother, I guess. She has a little brother. I've told her to stop being rough with the dog, but she always says it's no big deal. I want to make her happy, so I let her take the dog on a leash to show off at school once or twice because she was so excited. I guess the last time she did that was about a week ago. I stayed in the house because we live so close.

today, I came home from the store and there was an anonymous letter on my mailbox. the person is concerned about her behavior with the dog and my daughter cried after it was read to her. I debated reading it to her, but I don't think she realizes how much she needs to stop being rough. the letter also mentioned how the person "feels like they know me" and how I've lost weight... kind of offended. I feel like I live in an unfriendly, judgmental community anyway and this just pushes my buttons. so I have mixed feelings. But how do I get her not to be rough with the dog?

MrsS42603 09/12/2013

As unpleasant as receiving that letter obviously was for you, I think you made the right (albeit tough) choice in reading it to your daughter. Maybe now that she knows other people think she's being too rough with the puppy she will change her behavior.
I think you need to sit your daughter down and have a very serious talk with her about how she treats the dog. Explain to her that the dog is a living, breathing thing and that he can get hurt. Ask her how she'd feel if her rough play caused an injury.
As the dog gets older, if your daughter continues to be so rough with him, he may start to get aggressive and could bite her or someone else. Ask her how she'd feel if you had to find a new home for your dog or have him put down because he bit someone.
Lastly, I don't think she should be allowed to take the dog to school or anywhere else until she can prove that she can treat him properly. Your daughter might be very upset with you for that, but maybe that will be an incentive for her to change her behavior.
I hope you can get through to your daughter. Good luck!

deleted_user 09/18/2013

Great advice from Mrs. I would add a resounding emphasis to her point that the dog will learn to be aggressive from rough play. You might have to put some positive and negative reinforcements in place. 9 year olds love charts and you could set up some rewards to her caring for dog (feeding, poop scooping, etc) something she can easily be successful with and then tell her she will loose points every time she plays roughly with the dog. Again, you need to continually use teaching moments to remind her how important it is to the dog's development that all play be appropriate. What I really recommend is that you find a dog obedience class in your community and take both your daughter and the dog! Let her participate in the class with the dog and establish a good working relationship with him. Also she will benefit from succeeding in dog training and you will benefit from a well trained dog. :) Ask around and find a good instructor and check to make sure s/he allows children to attend. Your daughter will also benefit from seeing other owners interact with their dogs.

Join the Conversation