I’m working through a recent estrangement with my only daughter. Ive been a single mom and a good mom. On Mother’s Day, she called me an awesome mother! One week later, the estrangement began. She’s given silent treatments previously.

I spoke with a psychologist and she says what I describe is unusual. I have had a good relationship with my daughter but realize that she’s kept a lot hidden. She used her wedding as the weapon to start distancing herself. I was crushed at how cold both she and her husband were when I have treated them so well. Never a fight!

This is so painful. I’ve been trying to keep myself busy with work & other activities. No one who knows how good of a parent I’ve been understands. All she says is that I owe her an apology. For what?

I suspect that her husband is a negative influence. His family has numerous estrangements.

I’m giving her space. I’m also reevaluating our relationship. Clearly, there’s something I don’t know.

I’m done with beating myself up over this. I hope she gets some help for whatever is bothering her.

I love her but I’m done with being her punching bag.

The psychologist is misinformed. The phenomenon of estrangement is growing. Please copy and paste the other link for the active forum and participate there because there is more support and connection there. This forum seems to be fairly dead. I will say that your ED (estranged daughter) has a pattern of manipulation and control which is what the silent treatment is. I am very sorry you are dealing with this. Sometimes with our kids, we ignore a lot of their negative traits and so are surprised when suddenly the snake we have ignored has bitten us. I am in the same boat you are. It is not your fault. Her behavior is about what is going on in her personality and mind, it is not about something bad you did. This is the more active forum:
https://www.dailystrength.org/group/parents-of-estranged-adult-children

Hi. Im new to these kinds of support groups. So forgive me if I don't follow any rules.
My oldest daughter has recently, id say the last year, decided that being around us was not healthy for her. That we are too negative and critical. I guess like my mother is to everyone. Ive tried very hard not to be like my mother but obviously it cant be helped. My ED says we dont listen or hear her. That she feels invisible. Ive tried on many occasions to tell her we do hear and see her but cant help voicing our opinion when you see her heading into a disastrous decision. I dont know how not to be a "parent " to care to worry to love so much it hurts. Im trying to respect her "boundaries " but every time i say anything im always wrong and an argument starts.
When i was her age i felt the same way(i told her this). I went to counseling for it. It was called a mid-life crisis. That the only one who i can change was myself. That confronting the people who made me feel this was going to hurt them and cause further pain. So i learned to let it roll off my back and never let it hurt me. Why cant my Ed do the same?
Now when i invite her to family dinner she makes excuses. How do i stop this before this distance gets ant worse?

i could really use active support. just understanding it all. one son gone but i think he is fine with me and other ticked off and ready to ditch me. its nice tohear from others.