Paranoia Support Group
Paranoia is a disturbed thought process characterized by excessive anxiety or fear, often to the point of irrationality and delusion. It is often associated with psychotic illnesses, sometimes schizophrenia, although attenuated features may be present in other primarily non-psychotic diagnoses, such as paranoid personality disorder and obsessive compulsive disorder.
I really have a hard time when I go out. It seems like everytime I go anywhere, somebody intentionally gets in front of me because they see me coming there way, and tries to slow me down. It happens at the grocery store, on the road, at social gatherings, even in the bathroom...
"Intentional" is the key word here. I feel like people are intentionally planning some kind of covert mission to keep me from getting to where I need to go at a certain time. I get the thought that people slow me down because they are hiding something from me and didn't want me to see it.
Take today, for example: First of all, a car followed me from one parking lot to a restaurant I was going to down the road and I felt like they were spying on me to alert others to slow me down later on. Then, I was driving down the road and I saw this parked car ahead of me. But, then before I could pass it, the car pulled out in front of me going 10 mph! I was furious...Why do people have to do that?! Isn't it common sense to share the road going @ least the speed limit?! Also, there were 3 other cars that suddenly slowed down to about 10 below the speed limit in front of me...Is there some hidden reason for why people have to do that?
In addition, I get a lot of stares from almost everyone I pass and it's pretty fishy to me...I just feel like everyone's coming against me and building up their brick walls for me to run into! There are still countless things I imagine. All of my hypotheses about secret activities of the outside world are overwhelming and complex...
What is wrong with me! I think I'm going crazy. I feel like I'm trapped in a brick chamber...I can't trust anyone, especially now with all the spams, scams, and lies...But I'm still trapped in this chamber of paranoia...I'm sad, disconnected from friends in Seattle and living with my parents, and I feel like my life is just a big dead end! I worked my ass off at the University of Washington for 4 years and I still can't find a job with a BA degree in architecture! Why did the job market have to fail when I graduated?! Am I cursed! Is it all part of the game?!
This is an expression of my insides crying out. I need someone to understand the turmoil I am facing, but that hasn't happened...and if it's even possible, I need some kind of evidence that proves my paranoid scenarios false...
"Intentional" is the key word here. I feel like people are intentionally planning some kind of covert mission to keep me from getting to where I need to go at a certain time. I get the thought that people slow me down because they are hiding something from me and didn't want me to see it.
Take today, for example: First of all, a car followed me from one parking lot to a restaurant I was going to down the road and I felt like they were spying on me to alert others to slow me down later on. Then, I was driving down the road and I saw this parked car ahead of me. But, then before I could pass it, the car pulled out in front of me going 10 mph! I was furious...Why do people have to do that?! Isn't it common sense to share the road going @ least the speed limit?! Also, there were 3 other cars that suddenly slowed down to about 10 below the speed limit in front of me...Is there some hidden reason for why people have to do that?
In addition, I get a lot of stares from almost everyone I pass and it's pretty fishy to me...I just feel like everyone's coming against me and building up their brick walls for me to run into! There are still countless things I imagine. All of my hypotheses about secret activities of the outside world are overwhelming and complex...
What is wrong with me! I think I'm going crazy. I feel like I'm trapped in a brick chamber...I can't trust anyone, especially now with all the spams, scams, and lies...But I'm still trapped in this chamber of paranoia...I'm sad, disconnected from friends in Seattle and living with my parents, and I feel like my life is just a big dead end! I worked my ass off at the University of Washington for 4 years and I still can't find a job with a BA degree in architecture! Why did the job market have to fail when I graduated?! Am I cursed! Is it all part of the game?!
This is an expression of my insides crying out. I need someone to understand the turmoil I am facing, but that hasn't happened...and if it's even possible, I need some kind of evidence that proves my paranoid scenarios false...
take care x
Have you been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder? Medication may possibly help. Currently I'm struggling with many conflicts related to anxiety, and I suspect (of course xD) that my paranoid delusions are strongly related to this anxiety.
Could it be that they delusions are a product of guilt or shame? I ask that only because I believe those the root of my paranoia.