Strangely enough, I have always found your responses to be extemely arrogant and off-putting. So perhaps, it is not the people you are trying to help, but your approach and attitude. Everyone else I hear from is kind, supportive and compassionate. Jsut a thought............

offputting for those who dont want to get better

kindness and support is appropriate for those who have decided to live with panic disorder for the rest of their lives

arrogance and even rudeness is needed for those who want to get better, or who might be shocked into attempting recovery

there is a fundamental problem with all agoraphobia and panic attack boards and groups, about half are looking for sympathy and kindness while they continue to live with it
the others are looking for advice as they attempt to get better, how do I inspire these without insulting and annoying the others who want to continue to live with it

I have been expelled from other groups and boards for pointing this contradiction out

In all my 60 years I have met many people with panic disorder and I have not met one person who 'wanted to live with it." How could anybody WANT to live with such terror? What I have found are people who are bewildered, and think there is no way out and that therefore they HAVE to live with it. Just the other day I was listening to a tape on coping with panic disorder and the doctor said how unfortunately many people can be rude in their advice-giving to people suffering from anxiety and how badly this effects the person suffering with panic. So, according to this particular doctor, rudeness and arrogance would never be called for. I have never read a book on panic disorder that suggested rudeness, arrogance or 'shocking a person" as a way to help them recover. Have you considered that the people who you think "want sympathy and kidness as they continue to live with it" are just slower than others at getting better, or 'seeing the light' (that recovery is indeed possible) or perhaps they have not had the therapy, support or proper medication that others have had and therefore they are not making as rapid progress? Who are we to say how long a person should take to get better? Lastly, if a person really wanted to live with such terror, something I find truly unbeleivable, then that is their choice and the best thing you could do is move on to someone who wants to get better. As far as inspiring others, when I think of the truly inspirational people of this world, past and present, they were not rude, arrogant or shocking. The best thing you can do, if it's true, is tell people that you got better and kindly explain everything you did such as medication, self help books, therapy etc. And then remember, as Claire Weeks emphasizes in her books that 'set back are inevitable' and continue to kindly encourage people through setbacks. Listen to Claire Weeks tape "Pass Through Panic". Listen to the incredible kindness and compassion in her voice. Of all the tapes I have, hers is my favorite because I feel like a loving aunt is talking to me. There is not the slightest hint of arrogance, rudeness or 'shock" in her voice and she never suggests that anyone doesn't want to get well. What she does say is that many people are so bewildered by fear and panic that they just don't know the way out.

Regardless of some professionals attitude, I went to many doctors before one diagnosed me with panic disorder and told me I had been on the wrong medication for two years prior. At least she didn't believe it was all in my head, which is what I put up with from other professionals for the two years I was trying to find relief from this hell. Then in 1993 I went to a GP who put me on Paxil and I haven't had an attack since. Heck, I would have walked to the ends of the earth on my hands just to find someone who believed in what I was telling them my symptoms were and to find relief! I believed I was cursed to feel this way for the rest of my life! I had developed agoraphobia due to the disorder and had no life what-so-ever. Since then I have completed my Bachelor's degree in Fine Arts, worked as a graphic designer for many years, but am now disabled and "retired" due to another illness. I'll take this any day over the hell of living with panic attacks!

harry, i'm going to side with you on this one. i've met people who want to get better, but when you suggest things to them, they say they don't want to do it for some reason or another or they can't (when they can).

one example is those who think benzos are worse than dealing with the panic alone.

you just can't reason with them. they have to learn for themselves...maybe the hard way or never.