Hi all. As someone who knows how bad panic attacks are and how debilitating they can be, I thought I'd share my story in case it might help someone else. I know we're all different, and maybe my attacks weren't the same as yours are, but you might still find something useful in my strategy.

I was in my late 30's when my first panic attack hit me, and I had no idea what it was. It had such a stupid trigger. I had gotten interested in lucid dreaming--kind of like the movie Inception--and one of the things you're supposed to do to trigger one is to continually ask yourself all during the day if you're dreaming. (If you don't question reality in real life, you'll never think to do it in a dream.)

So I'm driving on a major freeway in a major city one day, just about to pass through an automated toll booth, and it occurred to me then to ask myself, "What if this isn't real?" I looked down at my hands on the steering wheel and tried to see the whole instrument panel all at once. Suddenly my heart began to race faster than I'd ever experienced, and my breath just couldn't catch up. I knew this was real, yet reality felt like it was beginning to slip away from me. Traffic was heavy, and I had nowhere to go. I somehow managed to fight on for a long while, pulling over to the shoulder several times along the way to try to fight off whatever was happening to me. I was on a walled freeway filled with fast traffic and I didn't know how to call an ambulance to such a location. I certainly didn't want to leave my car there. I eventually pulled into a hotel parking lot.

I sat in the car for a while clutching my cell phone, not sure what to do. Suddenly my face began to feel like it was melting. I had recently heard someone use that exact sensation to describe a heart attack. My hands started tingling and trembling, and my grip on my cell phone became so weak I wasn't even sure if I could dial 911 anymore. I somehow managed it, and an ambulance arrived. I could barely walk when the paramedics asked me to get out of the car and come over to the ambulance. They confirmed my wild heart rate and blood pressure, but they had to call for a second ambulance to bring an EKG. This took a while, so by the time they put it on me, one of the paramedics remarked, "Well, at this point, the guy's just having a panic attack from all the craziness." That comment shifted my whole paradigm. So this was a panic attack, huh?

My EKG showed normal, and my BP and heart rate were coming down, so the paramedics recommended that I just relax in the hotel lobby for a while and then continue on my way home once I felt safe to do so. I did exactly that, and I researched panic attacks as soon as I could.

A few days afterward, I decided to try to duplicate the circumstances in a safer environment to see what would happen. I was driving in my car, and I looked down at my instrument panel, trying to see the whole thing at once. I began to feel the panic almost immediately.

After that, it seemed like now that my brain had learned how to produce panic attacks, it was just going to keep on doing them. Every time I tried to drive on a busy freeway, the panic would just hit me for no reason. Eventually it started happening in grocery stores and at company functions. Out of desperation, I sought out web sites like this one for advice.

I learned that too much carbon dioxide in the bloodstream can sustain an attack, and you should therefore try to control your breathing. By the time I came across that piece of advice, I was consistently having panic attacks every time I tried to drive through any area where I knew it would be difficult or impossible to pull over. Unfortunately, I had a high school reunion to attend, and to get there I would have to drive through a freeway construction area lined with concrete barriers and no shoulders. Knowing in advance that I'd have a panic attack there, I armed myself with the aforementioned advice and went for it.

The attack started just where I knew it would. My heart began to pound, my hands started tingling, my vision started to fade, and my lungs became desperate for air.

Okay--do you remember that scene in The Matrix where Neo is being trained by Morpheus in the dojo? Morpheus has just beaten him, and Neo is all hunched over on the floor gasping for air. Morpheus leans forward and asks him, "Do you think that's air you're breathing?" Neo then has a sudden epiphany and realizes that he's not actually out of breath. He stops panting and stands up.

Well, that was precisely my experience! With my heart pounding out of my chest, trying to slow my breath down was the most counterintuitive sensation in the world. It was like fighting against a cough or a sneeze--it's not easy at all, but if you try really hard, it can be done. I told myself, "You're just sitting down. You're not exercising, you're not running. You don't need the oxygen. Breathe normally, and your heart will slow down to match." With much difficulty, I slowed my breathing down to a normal rate, and over the next thirty seconds or so, my heartbeat reduced itself to a more reasonable rate. It was still fast to be sure, but I could feel the panic subsiding. As usual, it took a while for the tingling sensation to subside from my fingertips, but I just ignored the feeling of it. By the time I reached my reunion, I was able to function, and my heart rate was just about normal.

The next time a panic attack began to threaten me (in a Wal-Mart), I was able to wave it away with not much more than a thought. I told myself, "You have nothing to fear. You know how to beat these things now." I literally shrugged my shoulders back as if knocking off a cloak and then quickly looked for something interesting to see. This became my strategy from then on. After some time, the panic attacks didn't even threaten me anymore.

The only exception was that stupid toll booth. About six months later, I had to drive through that exact spot again, and I wasn't sure what would happen when I got there. As I drew near the toll booth, I focused my attention on a radio commercial and did my best to feel comfortable. Somehow, my heart rate shot up anyway. Nonetheless, I stuck to what I had learned the night of my high school reunion. I controlled my rate of breath from the very first second. This time it didn't feel like reality was pulling away, and my hands never started to tingle. By my not hyperventilating, the panic never had a chance to get a real start. My heart just kind of said, "Oh well then," and went back to beating normally within a couple of minutes.

Although I was now in control of full-on panic attacks, I would still get a little "panicky" from time to time at important functions and meetings. It wasn't enough panic to start an outright attack, but my internal battle with it would still be sufficient to break my concentration and interrupt my train of thought. Luckily--if you look at it that way--my doctor eventually put me on a beta blocker for blood pressure, and I made the happy discovery that the medication also prevents panic attacks. Now that I'm medicated, I don't feel like I ever have to even think about panic attacks anymore. In fact, the only reason I came back to this site is because I do still experience heart palpitations, and my research into those keeps referencing anxiety. There seems to be a connection that I haven't yet figured out.

Anyway, I know this post is tremendously long. I do hope it helps someone.