I have had PAD since I was 14. No one understands except you guys. I feel like I can't have friends and can't have a relationship. Even when people say they understand, they usually don't know what they are talking about.

Right now I'm pregnant and I am not supposed to be able to have more kids. I didn't want anymore. I love my baby and all my kids but I don't want to be home alone with kids anymore living in poverty. Right now the baby's dad is being really selfish in my opinion. He works constantly, out of state most of the time, owns more houses than most people have on a block but I live at my moms house, have zero dollars and won't have a car big enough for all the kids when the baby is born. We broke up because he refuses to be fair. He just assumes I will stay home, and sacrifice all my dreams to be alone with the baby all day and night. He says he can't afford to work a local gang (railroad speak for unit) and is having money issues. I said to him try a stay at home mom's wages. Am I wrong in being angry and expecting him who has 8 houses to actually provide for us? To allow me to have a part time job at least to feel good about myself, to maybe give us some spending money? To sacrifice some pay to be here for when the baby needs us both? I have grown intolerant and impatient with one-sided relationships. I love my kids so much and like being home with them just not all the time always. I never get to do anything at all for me. I just feel so depressed and my heart hurts so much because I love my baby and my baby's dad he is otherwise a very good guy but I just don't know how to get through to him. I feel like he can't hear me. He doesn't understand my disorder. Idk what to do I feel like laying in bed all day and not getting up but I do cause y kids need me but all day I am panicking, crying, bored, depressed. Medicines do not work.