Ehh, I'd say if it keeps somebody alive, then it's worth it. I'd say for the other person, be a good listener and test yourself to be patient. The unloader might appreciate it.

I have listened to many people unload. Some are for a few minutes and some are for hours. I don't mind listening at all. After all, someone once listened to me and it helped me greatly.

The only person I have had a difficult time working with is my brother. He is a very angry person and anger is a trigger for me. But each time I listen to him I am healed a bit more. I am healed because the anger trigger lessons each time I listen to him. My brother does unload on me more often than anyone else but we are both getting something from the 'unloading' episode.

Good post. I look forward to seeing how others feel about this.

Take care

I am a great listener and I can also talk a mile a minute, but I listen because I have listened to others and they also listen when I am having a hard time!

It is a 2 way road! And like okieman said.....if it saves just one life, then I say let the unloading begin, that is what friends are for or even professionals....to listen to people and their issues!

I see it like this.....I will listen to my mom give me advice on a certain topic like...... how to put a shelf on my kitchen wall. I will also listen to my dad's different advice on how to put this shelf up and I will listen to my husbands advice, then I mix it all up with MY OWN advice and I make a choice on how to put it up!

Sometimes people just need a shoulder to lean on. When we have panic attacks, most of us feel like we are going to die( even though we know we will not), but it feels like that! I hardly think that during or after an attack that somebody wants somebody giving them advice like, "well just calm your mind and let all your anger release from your body" Come on, really?

I say BE AN UNLOADER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! When you need a hand, reach out to somebody other than harry here and they will be there for you!

I couldn't agree with you all more (except for Harry). Its comments like these that stop people that are struggling from reaching out to people and end up taking their life. I find Harry's comments very offensive when this is a site for people in need of support. It is 'selfish' not to be there for someone in need.

I totally disagree with harry3333 and was very surprised to see this kind of comment on this board. Sounds like harry has personal issues of his own that need addressing

Oh it's you again. I have seen you around here before. I have no idea what you are doing in this group as you apparently do not suffer from these things. You only come in here to drag people down who are already feeling low enough.

Harry "talks" like my brother. So I think he is not all there. My brother is paranoid schizo and unmedicated. Everybody knows that if someone is going off on you on the phone the last thing you do is sit there for 2 to 3 hours. unless that didn't really happen. Most logical people would say " call me when you have calmed down and hang up the phone. " Some of the clues "organ recital". I think Harry is not all there folks that's probably why he is posting in this area.

Harry, you're kind of being an unloader by posting this. Everyone is at some point in their lives. If we stay quiet, all of our problems build up and we either break down or explode. Think of it as a compliment that someone trusts you enough to talk about their feelings to you.

I actually didn't read Harry's post the way others did. I thought he was just opening up about a topic and was curious to know what others thought about the topic.

I think it's too bad that this post made so many people lash out at him. Perhaps that is what always happens to him and that's why he doesn't like unloaders. He also belongs to the Asperger Syndrome forum so, if he has Asperger's, his behavior may have something to do with this.

Either way, we are all entitled to our opinion - even Harry. Also please note that Harry is a bit older than most of us on here. That will also determine how he responds to others.

I am not trying to start a DS fight with this reply. I just want to point out some things I noticed about Harry.

Thank goodness not everyone is like you Harry. I would say you are the selfish one since you care not to have compassion for those who do have the need to unload. It is cathartic for the person needing to talk however long it takes. It does not hurt o listen and to care in fact that is what makes us human. It is therapeutic to help as well as to be helped.

Many abuse victims have never really had anyone to just listen without being critical. Many abuse victims have never had the chance to unload, so why would we imprison them further by stopping them to let go of all that baggage that needs to come out?

I would feel just awful if I would attempt to stop someone from telling me troubles, because it is obvious when a person does that they have no other options and that person if you stop him or her, may have seen you as that last little tiny light and they may stop wanting to go on if that last little light is extinguished.
A person that would not share such troubles needs a person to listen. And then when they find the person that listens, really listens they have a chance.
Most people can not do that. I have learned to not let anyone close to me that can not do that.

Harry has been on this site for a long time...I never understood his thinking. He does not help people, he hurts them. This is nothing new...