Oh my dear, most of us have been in a similar situation in regard to relationships. I'm surprised though that you said he "doesn't understand anxiety like most people". Actually, most people who do not suffer from our type of anxiety DON'T understand it, so he's not out of the ordinary on that point. It took my husband YEARS, and he still doesn't have it quite right!

If emotion is one of your triggers for anxiety, then you probably are over-reacting, at least in part. Being ultra-sensitive is all part of this disorder.

That being said, if you want your boyfriend to understand better, then you need to school him. If you see a therapist or counselor of some kind, then arrange to have him attend a session (with or without you) in order to get informed. Your therapist should be able to give him tips on how to handle it when you are anxious or panicky. I imagine that he tries, and that his jokes are meant to lighten the mood... that he's trying to get you to relax. If it's hurting you, then you have to tell him that. Laughter definitely helps to relieve anxiety, but only if the anxious person finds the joke funny! Tell him to try something else - something that makes YOU laugh, but let him also know that when your anxiety is very high is NOT the time for this. The time for it is when you first feel anxiety coming on (kind of like stopping the flow of blood with a band-aid BEFORE you bleed out, if you get my analogy).

Regarding treatment, I have no idea what you've done so far, but the first step would be to discuss things with your doctor regarding medication options and therapy options.

Thanks thats helps. I I know most people dont understand thats what I meant. It is just so hard. I am kind of afraid give him more information on anxiety cause I'm afraid it will make things worse. (That is an unrealistic fear but its still there) I'm afraid he will leave me or get worse. I just have been trying so hard and nothing works I guess I plan on things not working.

It is nice to hear that other relationships have this problem. I think I can deal with him not understanding just the making it worse with joking and getting mad at me is hard.

He says he needs to get to know me and understand me and things will get better I'm just scared that I am waisting my time. I dont wanna loose him if he really does care and is trying and I dont wanna stay with him if he doesnt. But anxiety makes it hard to tell which it is :(

Oh absolutely - anxiety makes many things difficult, that's for sure. But we have to just try to learn to think logically, and clearly, and to do our best to stay physically healthy (which goes a long way to relieving anxiety) and get our sleep... all in order to make us strong enough to fight this battle.

You aren't wasting his time if you care about each other. And remember too that you are not your disorder. Your disorder is merely something you are dealing with. As long as he can see that too, it should be no problem. Just tell him the jokes upset you!

Smiles. Dixie

Thanks I'm glad people on this site understand cause holding things in doesnt work

Hi confussed,
Dont get upset with your B/F over not understanding he is physically inable to understand your pain and anxiety. I too used to get mad because my man thought I was over reacting and dramatic you name it they said it. I want you to try to instead of overcomming your anxiety. Try to accept it accept that you have this condition that needs a little meds mabey, and a lil Love and care. and dont try fix everything. you are not broken and all though he may not understand anxiety he dosnt have the right to be mean and hurt you. ask him to at least respect what you are going through and if he cant help you then dont hurt you. (p.s. Remember that men mature slower than girls) the truth is mabey he is your problem and mabey hes not but no one has the right to feel trapped in a painful nightmare with the person you think should be helping you through it teasing you and making it worse. take care of you ......Mychaoticlife