I had my first baby 2008, a wee boy, absolutely gorgeous and perfect in my eyes, because he was my first everything he did, the way he acted, his responses etc were perfect and normal to me. When he turned 1 my family shared there thoughts and advice etc. I was told somethings not right "he is too clever, too forward for a boy! Well To me he was perfect bit I had no there baby to compare him to. It was just me and him until he was 3 but by then I finally understood my families concerns. By the age of 2 my son could recite the alphabet and count to 50 clearly. He would line his toys uo instead of playing with them. He was very clean, didn't like mess and would freak out if he had a spillage on his vest or if his routine would change. If he did something wrong and I told him off he would be upset but instead of crying, acting upset or even being mad at me he would start head butting the wall or anything around him! My family advised me to get him Into early schooling as he was an only child and didn't get the chance to interact with kids his age. So I enrolled him to a pre school nearby. Well after a week at the school my concerns were finally confirmed, I was called up daily to pick him up early every single day, he was attacking kids and harming himself. He didn't like the teachers and wasn't fitting in. The school advised me to make an appointment with my health visitor and gp to discuss his behaviour, they wrote a letter and a school report 4 pages long just from 1 weeks worth of schooling. This is when the journey started. He is now 9 and was diagnosed with adhd at 7 (even tho it was suspected by his pre school, doctors, health visitors and pediatricians from the age of 2), he is now on 5 tablets a day. 2 for adhd and 3 a night for his sleeping disorder. We r waiting for 2 more assessments, one for ODD which has already been a confirmed diagnoses but not in black and white yet. The other is for autism which has been suspected since 1 but still not confirmed. These days he rarely harms himself but is excluded at least once a week from school for attacking teachers and pupils. He vandalises school property and threatens to kill students and bomb the school. There is no trigger, he will be the perfect gentleman one minute then smack you in the face the next for no reason whatsoever. At home it's the same. For example today: 8am he smashed my 50inch tele, 8:20-8:40am on the journey to school he called me every name under the sun and attacked his 4 year old brother. 9:45 he enters school. 10:30am I get a phone call asking me to come and get him coz he is excluded. They said as soon as he entered the class room he slapped a child accross the face, then he tried to smash every computer screen in the computer suite at school. 11am I collect him, 11:10 he is screaming at me in the street calling me names and attacking me. 11:50 we collect his 4 year old brother from nursery and he attacks him in front of the teachers and parents. 12pm we collect his 2 year old sister from preschool and he screams in her face then runs off, he is missing for 10mins, 12:15pm he turns up half way home and starts attacking me amd his siblings. The day gets worse but it's a normal day for me. I have a partner but he works long hours and sometimes weekends Aswell so I'm basically on my own, I have no mum or dad or any close relatives nearby. I haven't made friends since I moved here nearly 4 years ago coz parents hear bad things about my son so stay away. So you can imagine how hard I'm finding all this. I posted this today coz i feel like I'm nearing the end of my teather, I haven't lashed out or lost my **** yet after 9 years and 3 kids but I have always been told it won't get better only worse, so now I'm realising that is definitely the case amd I'm scared :-(