Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) Support Group
Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) an ongoing pattern of disobedient, hostile, and defiant behavior toward authority figures that goes beyond the bounds of normal childhood behavior. When a child cannot seem to control his anger or frustration, even over what seems to be trivial or simple to others, the child will often react in violent or negative ways to his own...
My teen is almost 17 and has struggled with compliance behaviors all his life.He suffers from Opositional defiant disorder, ADHD and probably an undiagnosed mood disorder. He refuses to comply to any simple rule such as don't pee on the toilet seat or eat food in your room.He is argumenative , vindictive at times , swears and insults his family.He punches holes on the walls, doesn't want to attend school, the list goes on and on. I convinced him to start therapy with a new therapist ( he has tried many ).He refuses to take a psychiatric medication. Now he says he wants to give his brain a break from drugs because he is scared of the random hallucinations he gets as a residual side effect from drugs he did in the past. He was backer acted many times .I don't have resources to put him in a good boarding school or long term psychiatric care. I don't want him to end up going to bad psychiatric place and come out worse. I don't know how to help him , nothing motivates him.He has no serious issues or stressors and has a loving family. I don't understand how he turned up so disturbed when he has been sorounded by good examples and a normal enviroment.It is difficult to live like this , definetly not what I had in mind when I started a family.
I was given the opportunity to talk to her with her Mom’s permission and she opened up to me. I encouraged her to join a life group for teens in our church. She was hesitant at first because she’s shy but eventually she said yes. After attending twice, she loves her life group because all of them are teens and they share about their life experiences. She realized that she’s not alone and her mood improved.
I want to encourage you to remain hopeful. I understand that it’s hard because I saw my friend when her daughter was struggling. She was scared and worried that something bad might happen to her only child. She even asked our youth pastor to talk to her but she didn’t want to. You might want to try a lifegroup for your son. I hope he will be interested in joining. It may be tough but please stay strong. I pray that your son will get the help he needs to get well. Praying for you as well for peace and strength. Please keep us posted.
Your post resonated with me. I have two teenage boys, one is 16, the other is 18.
My younger son was diagnosed with DMDD and ADHD 3-4 years back. DMDD is a lot like ODD, so I can report we have our share of holes in the walls and in our hearts.
He resisted meds for quite some time, but things degenerated and he wound up hospitalized twice, and in a group home for a while. It is hard to give advice for situations like this, as they will be from someone whose child and experience is different from yours, but I would say the things that have been most important for our family are:
1) Safety - Expecting the best and planning for the worst. We have had help in developing safety plans from Youth Villages and DMH. Most psychologists or therapists will also be able to help with this.
2) Self-care. Do not underestimate the impact this is and will have on you personally. For me, there were periods of grieving, of bleak depression and hopelessness, guilt, and wanting to jump in the car, start driving and not look back. This is all normal, but it needs management. Don't try to go it alone. There are support groups out there specifically for caregivers.
3) I wanted to pause on your statement about this not being what you had in mind when you started a family. I get it. I have gone through that, and will probably go through it again. For me, this was the grief, this was anger, this was a sense of panic at being caught in something beyond my ability to manage. It feels unfair at times. It is unfair. I don't really have an answer beyond that. You aren't alone. It is a valid feeling.
Anyhow, good luck with your journey.