First I'll say I am not a stepmom but Dad's gf of 6 years. I've been raising his daughter since she was 3 and just turned 9. Bio mom has always been in/out of the picture causing mass chaos in our lives. The child was dx with ADHD and ODD when she was 5 and about to be kicked out of school for misbehavior. Things have gotten so much worse. I am currently 35 weeks pregnant with our son and im terrified of what she will do in a fit of rage. I have been going to therapy myself for a few months and we've been doing family therapy for about a month. It's mostly been me and him in therapy because we needed to be on the same page with discipline and everything. I'm trying to get her in with a new counselor as we speak. She had one for about a year and then the lady moved and she's not clicked with anyone since. She is physically violent towards me, only attempts so far no actual real hits. She would not dare try to hit her father. He works out of town, it was gone 8 days home for 6 while he is gone (and home) its me raising her. His schedule is a little different now so that helps but I had no support with her attack today. I have been trying to destress and not worry so much over things with her but she is difficult. I was attempting to help her with her homework tonight, she kept smart mouthing, I told her we needed a break and she needed to go outside. Being that we all know how easy that is with an ODD child you can imagine how that ended. I try escorting her out of the house (dad was asleep from working overnights 14hrs so no bedroom) she's throwing fists and pulling against me. I get her outside and close the door reminding her to calm down, we need separation and she proceeds to pound on the glass door yelling for over 30 minutes. I called my parents crying because I was so angry I didn't know what to do. They came and picked her up which is great, it gives us time apart but she also realizes when she acts up she gets to leave. Fortunately, it wont be all fun and games for her there. She was supposed to participate in a softball game tonight and I said she would not be going due to not doing homework and her behavior. I'm just at a complete loss as to what to do. She's 9! Yes she is medicated but it doesn't last past school hours and Dad doesn't want her overmedicated. I know she needs counseling and thats what I'm trying to do but lord I'm so afraid of what she may do to my baby and how I'll react if she does hurt him! We've been trying so many behavior mod's its crazy and nothing works with this kid. Not having full support with everyone she visits including mom is terrible because there is no consistency. However, most don't see the issues like we do. So it's like fighting a losing battle every damn day. I did not sign on for this craziness I can say that. It's hard as hell everyday to be dealing with this child when she use to be so sweet. Now its like the devil lives here.