ARGH!! im hearin ya!! trust me ODD kids are almost unbearable!! and i beleive the hardest to love! I TRY to give my son IQ fish oil tablets. he can not swallow tablets though so it is VERY hard! but ive heard it works a treat! we are going down the ritalin path right now, when the med is working, its a blessing! when it wears off, its horrendous! i wish you the best of luck in your journey!

ODD children are difficult. I totally understand loving them so much it hurts yet hating being around them. I found I have to be the grown-up though. Losing my temper, storming out, going crazy myself does not teach them how to behave. There is no medicine to "fix" this because it's a behavioral issue moreso than a medical/psychological one. Though from what I understand you can get meds to mellow out some of the symptoms to make it easier to control them. Have you tried government health coverage for the kids? That would cover the medical costs. I'm sorry you're going through such a hard time with your children. This too shall pass though. We only get 18 years with them before they can go out in the world. Just think, you're over halfway there.

My husband is the same way with our 9 yr old daughter. The anger from him scares me so. I try to remind him that anger only fuels anger.
I completely understand how you love them and hate the actions at the same time. Have you had your son tested for any other possibilities? My daughter is odd/adhd. They tried to put her as bi-polar. We have gone to 3 different doctors and finally came up the the odd/adhd. My personal therapist kept pushing us to not be complacant with bi-polar. She is been on all the bi-polar then now she is on adderall. with it being the holidays and the schedules being crazy, her meltdowns have been 4 out of 5 days. I'm hoping once school starts again things will calm down.
I hope that you were able to have some peace and joy on Christmas.
Try and see what you can get from gov't programs. Try and find the gift in all.

I appreciate all the replies here. I am going to go today and get some fish oil and talk to a naturalogist. I hope thats right (what their called) and see what they might have for ODD. They sure helped me with my ADHD son. They put him on fish oil and min-chex. I love it because it doesn't slow him down and it doesn't change who he is, because I love him just as he is, the happy go lucky, full of energy kid. but he was faily school until I put him on the min-chex--somehow it is just enough to help him focus on his work when he needs to. he went from failing to straight A's :) I just hope they have something to help with the other son. Because that smart allic mouth of his is causing a lot of trouble around here!

I love my stepdaugher very much, but I can honestly say I don't LIKE her AT ALL. I can say there are days when none of us want to be in the same room with her. When an ODD kid spends every waking moment trying to make everyone else in the house miserable, it takes its toll on everyone. I wish I could tell you what would work, but I haven't found anything that does. All I can say is that I understand. There are many places that will counsel you for free, you might be able to as your pediatrician about it.

I don't usually watch day time TV but a few years ago i heard a talk show guest saying that although she loved her kids at times she hated her kids,i personally think hate is a very strong word but i can see where she's coming from,i love my little boy very much but at times he makes it hard to appreciate the glory that is him

I want to thank everyone again for their replys. I want to share something we have discovered that works some with our son. Our pastor is a counselor and he worked with my son for about 3 weeks. He said to write everything down. So yesterday, my husband wrote out a detailed chore list that my son had to have done by the time he got home. Can you believe itthey everyone got done and there was no arguing or fighting!!! It was wonderful. If you just verbally give him a list or a command he will argue about everything (u didnt say this or that ect.) So we are going to try it with everything nowlike a contract. You get one hour on the computer in the evening ect. It worked once, maybe It will continue to work. I just wanted to sharemaybe it will work for someone else here. It was so nice not having to get on to him all day long yesterday! He was sweet and even tempered, it was really wonderful and reminded me what a good boy he really is! J
Thanks again,
~dixie

Sweetie, I wish you the best of luck! My son is only 3 and is driving me out of my mind. I have to hand him over to my mother in law sometimes and go sit in the bathroom and just cry and bang on the sink to vent. It's SO hard. I'm here for you.

these kids can just set you off, can't they? my daughter can ruin the whole day for us all, the list thing is one thing we use too, instead of verbal commands it is so much easier for her, we hand her a list of things she needs to do and she will do them without a fight, once in awhileshe may balk and havea moment we just stay firm, I read some really good books that gave me great ideas on things you can do, you just need to remeber that just when you are taking two steps forward you may take three back, it is a daily thing with these kids and you have to be ready to change stratgies on them, we too are self employed but have health insurance, some places will base their charges on your income you may look into that, and see about getting help. hang in there and good luck,

Hi there!

Well, I feel your pain, too! I tried 3 different medications, counseling, etc. and I've heard (like tolstoyy) that the the Omega 3's from fish oil tablets might help some, too.

What eventually worked wonders for me (and my son), was a program that a lady recommended. I used it with him, and I would say that he's about 95% better now...a year later. So, we're still working on a fwe things, but I get a lot more sleep and we have a much better relationship.

I'll say this, though...if you're wanting to try herbal meds, I would still be interested to know if they work, because the side effects of prescription meds scare me...especially for younger kids whose bodies are still developing.

I wish you the best of luck!

Kim

yep, yep, yep.know how you feel. If you could you would take them back where you brought them and demand a refund and compensation for mental anguish.ha ha but of course thats in your dreams at night.
I have tried herbal meds on my boys "St Johns wort" a few years ago (but don't do that with out medical supervision). The only effect was, my boys became very emotional, and cryed at the drop of a hat. It did not help the ADHD or ADD behaviour.Fish oil tablets?? I still have my boys on these, I don't know if they work, but something is working and I am not willing to change there tablets now.they are on Ritalin , fish oil and vitamins and minerals.
I never wanted to put my boys on medication of any sort but when it comes to the point where you can't handle their behaviour anymore, drastic measures must be taken. Its trial and error with medication and what works on one sometimes does not work on another.

My daughter is on melatonin and gogi juice for sleep and without it she will stay up until 2:30am! She takes synaptol or L-tryptophan with vitamin B. She is more even with this but it doens't help the ADHD she still has a terrible time in school but we tried Strattera (suicidal), Concerta (aggressive/rage) and ritilin (more aggression and rage) but the side effects were worse than the help. We are starting the fish oil too. One HUGE thing that has helped is my husband is doing a lot better with the screaming and slamming and swearing. He will tell her very calmly that if she tries to hurt one of us or herself or destroy anything in the house that he will hold her. If she can't calm herself down, he holds her but without any anger or anything and the rages that used to last two hours now last about half an hour and are not as frequent. I think that is a big help. I also notice that when I am off kilter it really affects her stability as well so sometimes it is a real chore for me. Hope this helps