Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) Support Group
Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) an ongoing pattern of disobedient, hostile, and defiant behavior toward authority figures that goes beyond the bounds of normal childhood behavior. When a child cannot seem to control his anger or frustration, even over what seems to be trivial or simple to others, the child will often react in violent or negative ways to his own...
We use to think it was the Bipolar why we never got along with our daughter, the constant fights the arguing the yelling and screaming - and mostly over stupid stuff like asking her to wash her hands after using the bathroom or asking her to pick up after herself but now I understand it was the ODD all this time and NO - they do NOT outgrow it. I use to be one of those parents counting down until her 18th birthday waiting for it to magically improve but was sadly disappointed when things did not change. After the drug abuse, threatening to burn our home down, the multiple suicide attempts that became such a habit that whenever things didnt go her way she would threaten suicide just to get her way - we had to kick her out of our home. Now, four years later and after so much drama we asked her to move back because her current living situation was dangerous and she is after all - our daughter. This is going into week 2 and already I regret my decision. Every day there is some drama, some event - its back to whenever she comes around me my back tightens and my nerves are so raw. I hide in my bedroom but she follows me then starts yelling and screaming and nothing I say is right and everything I say incites an arguement that gets out of control. She will yell and scream for hours. She will be 22 years old in a couple weeks and my life is literally a living hell. I just dont know how much more of this I can take.
I had to finally ask her to leave about a week ago, we just could not take the constant yelling and screaming and cussing at us, to do so was telling her it was OK to do this in our home and its not. I became a prisoner in my bedroom just to avoid any arguments but that did not work either because good or bad attention its attention she craves.
I wish I had an answer, a magical pill, a cure for this but I dont and from what I read in these posts I dont think anyone does nor is it a common issue for even doctors to help with.
She called me at work a few minutes ago, she was arrested and out on ROR and has nowhere to go again. I hung up on her and blocked the number. I am a horrible person and its eating away at me so bad right now but I am at work and cannot break down here. But I know I cannot live her life and to bring her back would tell her its OK to keep doing what she has always done - and its not OK. It's tearing my marriage apart, her twin sister, older sister and brother have felt the back draft of all these years of the constant attention we have had to give her. I am a bad parent for not giving them the attention they deserved when it all went to Tiffany. No more - no more can I do this, I just cant but you know, she is still our child and the guilt is just unbearable, it really is...