Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) Support Group
Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) an ongoing pattern of disobedient, hostile, and defiant behavior toward authority figures that goes beyond the bounds of normal childhood behavior. When a child cannot seem to control his anger or frustration, even over what seems to be trivial or simple to others, the child will often react in violent or negative ways to his own...
I don't really know what to feel right now. My 11-year-old son just had his second evaluation appointment with the therapist, and she recommended partial hospitalization because he has depression and has suicidal thoughts. Apparently, he has been experiencing suicidal thoughts since the end of school year and has even researched how to commit suicide, but has only gone so far as taking out a knife and putting it against his skin. He had started hinting to me that he had suicidal thoughts, but I didn't realize it was this serious. This is devastating news to me.
Although I was initially devastated when I was told that my son needed partial hospitalization, I'm so glad that he hit rock bottom and ended up in the program, because it is helping him turn things around. Here's what I learned:
1. ODD behavior is a red flag that there is something else going on. My son was diagnosed with depression, general anxiety disorder, and social phobia. The underlying conditions have to be treated for the behavior to improve. My son is now on Zoloft and is in intensive cognitive behavior therapy.
2. The therapist has repeated to me that kids do well only if they CAN. Many parents and teachers believe kids do well if they WANT TO, but in this hospital's view, that's not true. If a child is struggling with ODD behavior, it is because they are lagging skills or have underlying medical issues (mood disorder, ADHD, OCD, etc.) to do well.
3. I was advised not to use behavior modification programs (i.e., rewards and punishments) because those programs work only for kids who have the skills to control their behaviors. Instead, the hospital recommended a parenting system called Collaborative Problem Solving. There is a book that describes it, by Dr. Ross Greene. However, it is so different from most parenting approaches that I really need coaching sessions from the therapist to implement it. I have applied it three times so far, and it has been working for us. No blowout fights, and we are getting resolutions.
Anyway, I just wanted others to know that if it gets really bad, you might want to consider inpatient or partial hospitalization. It is at least a 2-week commitment, but it can really help get things under control.
Looking forward to more updates on how well things are going :)
On the other hand, we need answers. His class is all behavior mod, all negative consequences, and he is escalating to scary behaviors at school...all because he won't do a worksheet.
Anyway, thank you and keep us posted.
Katie
The hospital offered both inpatient and partial hospitalization. My son was in the partial program, so I would drop my son off in the morning and pick him up at 3. He was there for about 2 weeks. It worked great for him. His ODD behaviors have diminished. I can't say that they are completely gone, but last week we had only 2 episodes versus multiple episodes every single day. I think the Zoloft was much needed. He feels happier on it. We did have to cut back to half the dosage because he was experiencing some negative side effects (he was acting like he was stoned at times).
I highly recommend that you read and watch the videos for the book The Explosive Child. This is the parenting book that the hospital recommended. It explains why behavior modification techniques do not work with kids like ours and what we need to do to get through to them. This is the only parenting book that I have found helpful. However, it does help to have a social worker coach you through a couple sessions before you apply the system yourself.
If a professional is suggesting hospitalization for your son, I suggest that you do it. He will get intensive treatment, and you'll get a diagnoses, and you'll both get tools that you can use to help him manage better. I wish I had done this when my son was 9.
One thing that I realized was that I was so mad at my son for his horrible behaviors. I thought he was doing them on purpose to get us mad. I didn't realize how much pain he was in himself. He had been living in his own personal hell for 8 years (from age 4 to now). He has only now received the proper treatment and help.
It would be great if I could find a local person who is trained in CPS. Do you know how to find one?