So sorry you are going through all of that, it is definitely exhausting!!!! What sort of therapy has he been going to? Sounds like maybe he needs something different? Is the whole family going or just him?

Funny u should ask. He's been going to a social worker who is good but I don't love. He started her before he got the diagnosis. His psychiatrist is awesome. And I am thinking of going to a ODD parenting coach - def should switch therapists but they have a rapport so it's hard. The case worker closed the case already and said he is definitely not abused but seeking attention and iwe should consider a Therpist who specializes in ODD. It's definitely on the list of priorities. The sad thing is my once loving son was so upset the case was closed - he literally wanted us to be punished and wanted new parents. I can't express how good he has it. He just doesn't understand and is hurting -
Meanwhile mom is exhausted and spent and in need of some peace and sleep.

Sounds like my nine year old daughter except she has grabbed me by the neck and hurt her 8 year old sister as well as hit her five year old baby sister it took her leaving a bruise on my middle daughters neck because she didnt want to watch the same movie for me to take her to the hospital for help. She only spent 10days away but ot was four hours from home so no family around her she has put her hands on anyone since. She is showing other things but i am glad no more hurting others.

I just joined and this is the first post that came up and I swear it is the SAME as ME! my 13 yr old is ruining our family life..... we can't even get out to go to dinner without a meltdown or fight of some sort. He is defiant with all authority and has called the cops on us too. I'm exhausted. I have looked into boot camps, military and boarding schools, etc, but it would literally take my entire paycheck to send him there and that makes me even more frustrated. He was on many different meds and it didn't seem to really help, so he has been weaned off everything as of the last month. He is very tough to deal with and getting in trouble at school for defiance and getting suspended, etc. all because of his attitude. His grades are good, which shocks us all. Smart kid except he can't get his mouth to stop getting him in trouble. You mention ODD and his psychiatrist. would you share which meds he is taking? and if they helped?
Thank you for this group chat! It's helpful to have an outlet with people going through similar issues.

My son is on lamictal for moods and impulse control. He just started it so I'm not sure if it helps however I heard great things about it. He's also on Concerta 72 mg for ADHD. - sometimes it helps him in school but doesn't simmer the behavior. We r weaning him off Prozac which seemed to make things worse. He is sick a sweet kid who has turned into a nasty miserable hold and impossible to live with. It's so sad and beyond exhausting. I honestly hate waking up knowing that this is our reality now. My other son is an angel and it's terrible that he has to live on a house like this. My husband and I are doing everything we can before we send him away to school. I was told I need to completely re parent him so I am looking into a parenting therapist. We can't give up on our children but it's so hard to live with - it consumes u!! Feel free to reach out to me directly. Good luck jeepgirl13

My ODD son is 10. He is doing all the things you guys say. He was adopted as a 3 yr old and was this way from the start. I thought love and proper discipline would fix it, not even close. It did help with attachment, but not his behaviors. I was anti-medication but after 5 years of him tearing our family apart and destroying our home, I finally started putting him on meds. I think having a good psychiatrist or doctor to really help with the right meds is imperative. My son is on guanfacine and it makes him a lot more of a decent kid. If it wears off or he gets much sugar or colorings, or is feeling guilty about stealing something, he is really tough to deal with. The amount of guanfacine it took to keep him level was too high legally, so we had to pull back and put him on a psychotic, too along with the guanfacine. He is doing much better, and is in trouble a lot less, therefore how he feels about himself is getting better. That also mean he is having friends who want to play with him, finally. Also, find out what inspires her to behave. My guy tries to control everything, too, and a program from the book "The Entitlement Trap" by Eyring has helped a lot because money is one thing that will inspire him and he loves being in control of that. Hang in there. I also want to say I got a call from the school today. They were talking about bullying, and the conversation turned to parents. Lots of kids were sharing things and my son told everyone how his dad hits him, holds him up to the wall, throws him, etc. I had already prepared the principal and spoken to Dept of Fam Services about this boy because I knew things like this would happen. I know they are trying to protect kids from physical abuse, but it becomes a witch hunt and sometimes the witches that get burned are innocent parents. What they don't know is what happens before my husband grabs him, throws him down- he is hurting someone and NOT stopping, yelling, throwing things, destroying things etc. This child is not the abuse person, we are, but no one is going to listen to that. I have given his therapist a video of him in a rage, whipping a belt around and coming at me over and over. I am hoping these things will protect us should the need arise. (Yes, he has called 911 on us 3 times for putting him in timeout.) I get where you are coming from. My advice is to get her on the right medication - keep at it until you figure it out. Protect yourself by writing a diary of her behavior and include how much you love her and want to help her, involve a therapist as they can be called to testify should need by - so spend time talking to him/her about examples of their behavior and what's going on at home. Hope this helps some.

Also, sometimes food allergies can trigger behavior - it's true. The book "What's eating our kids" is a good source.

What is guanfacine? What else is he on! A good doctor and team is helpful. I do believe in too much sugar and coloring can contribute to moods -

I don't have any advice to make this better, but I can share with you that I understand what you are going through, how draining and scary it is, and I am sorry. We have dealt with social services so much that I am no longer scared of them like I used to be. I even put their business card up on the fridge and tell him to call if he ever feels abused. They closed our case for good last time and said she's putting a note on it letting others know he is using social services to punish his parents. He just lost his friends because they told him he's a bad influence. He hits me and pushes me around. I'm still healing from the last time. He leaves school without permission. It's scary to think about where our children will end up later in life. How do we get them on track? If the professionals can't figure out, who can? Even, how do we get through each day? What will each day bring? You are not alone. I am walking the same path as you...one day at a time.

DFS came to our house.. it wasn't a big deal. It took them about four minutes to realize my kid was full of it. I wish I could offer you some advice. I don't really have any. I will tell you that I know you are doing the best you can. I agree with consistent consequences. I highly recommend therapy. Medication. I'm sure you've thought of all this though. Hang in there.

ps my kid is also on Guanfacine, it's a anti-hypertensive. It's supposed to mellow them out. I'm iffy about it but it's the only tool we have. We are also currently on Zoloft.
Over the years we have tried Focalin, Concerta, sertaline, and PRN Benadryl. all have served a purpose but none have been magical. ps my husband is a mental health nurse and I am a behavioral therapist... so.. there is that.