Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) Support Group
Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) an ongoing pattern of disobedient, hostile, and defiant behavior toward authority figures that goes beyond the bounds of normal childhood behavior. When a child cannot seem to control his anger or frustration, even over what seems to be trivial or simple to others, the child will often react in violent or negative ways to his own...
Life with my son has been so full of ups and down lately. One minute, I feel like we're getting somewhere...the next minute, I don't know if I can take one more day.
I don't know how to do this anymore. Life with my son is so stressful and is a constant day to day battle. I feel so sorry for my other two children, because I feel like I'm losing them in the effort to help the one that needs it the most. I'm sure all families with a disabled or difficult child go through this...guess I would like some input from other parents.
I spend so much time out of my day worrying about my son...helping with homework (that sometimes literally takes hours, while my other two also need help)...going back and forth from day care and school meeting and doctor appts...dealing with his temper tantrums. He alone exhausts me and my other two see that, yet I still make the time for them as often as I can and their needs are certainly met. My youngest child is often physically assaulted by his older brother and has his toys broken by him. My younger son can't go outside and play with his friends hardly at all, because his older brother will always end up over with him and invariably causes fights and problems. Other parents don't want my children at their house, because of the problems caused by my middle son. My daughter refuses to bring anyone over to the house because of her brother's attitude and behaviors. He is very, very unpredictable.
My other two children are quickly changing. My youngest is fearful of being in his bedroom (which he shares with his brother). I also can't take him into a store anymore because he chooses to imitate his older brother's bad behaviors, and then I have TWO of them doing it instead of just one. My daughter has become resentful and verbally mean. She is becoming rude and short tempered. When her brother is gone for an afternoon, I have no problems with her or my youngest son...other than the "normal".
I love my son...love him very much. But, he is turning my entire house upside down. I see terrible, terrible behaviors in my other two children. I can't explain enough to them what their brother's problem is. All they see, at their ages, is a child who is making their life hell. They constantly say that they wish he would live somewhere else, that he would go away. That, as a parent, makes me feel terrible in so many ways. I feel like I am making the lives of my other two children pure hell, in the effort to maintain and help my middle son. But, on the other side of that, I have an obligation to my son to help him in every way possible.
My middle son told me today that he hates me (he often tells me that)...he told me he wishes I would die...told me that he wants to go live with his dad (which is not a feasible option)...told me he'd rather go live under a bridge than live with me. A parent can only take those hurtful words so many times. I am sacrificing my other two children to help him...I am sacrificing my safety and sometimes the safety of his siblings to help him...I am putting up a lot of money in doctor bills to help him...I lose a lot of time at work to help him...and he doesn't seem to understand that. I realize he probably never will. But I am a lost momma today...and lately...
I don't know how to do this anymore. Life with my son is so stressful and is a constant day to day battle. I feel so sorry for my other two children, because I feel like I'm losing them in the effort to help the one that needs it the most. I'm sure all families with a disabled or difficult child go through this...guess I would like some input from other parents.
I spend so much time out of my day worrying about my son...helping with homework (that sometimes literally takes hours, while my other two also need help)...going back and forth from day care and school meeting and doctor appts...dealing with his temper tantrums. He alone exhausts me and my other two see that, yet I still make the time for them as often as I can and their needs are certainly met. My youngest child is often physically assaulted by his older brother and has his toys broken by him. My younger son can't go outside and play with his friends hardly at all, because his older brother will always end up over with him and invariably causes fights and problems. Other parents don't want my children at their house, because of the problems caused by my middle son. My daughter refuses to bring anyone over to the house because of her brother's attitude and behaviors. He is very, very unpredictable.
My other two children are quickly changing. My youngest is fearful of being in his bedroom (which he shares with his brother). I also can't take him into a store anymore because he chooses to imitate his older brother's bad behaviors, and then I have TWO of them doing it instead of just one. My daughter has become resentful and verbally mean. She is becoming rude and short tempered. When her brother is gone for an afternoon, I have no problems with her or my youngest son...other than the "normal".
I love my son...love him very much. But, he is turning my entire house upside down. I see terrible, terrible behaviors in my other two children. I can't explain enough to them what their brother's problem is. All they see, at their ages, is a child who is making their life hell. They constantly say that they wish he would live somewhere else, that he would go away. That, as a parent, makes me feel terrible in so many ways. I feel like I am making the lives of my other two children pure hell, in the effort to maintain and help my middle son. But, on the other side of that, I have an obligation to my son to help him in every way possible.
My middle son told me today that he hates me (he often tells me that)...he told me he wishes I would die...told me that he wants to go live with his dad (which is not a feasible option)...told me he'd rather go live under a bridge than live with me. A parent can only take those hurtful words so many times. I am sacrificing my other two children to help him...I am sacrificing my safety and sometimes the safety of his siblings to help him...I am putting up a lot of money in doctor bills to help him...I lose a lot of time at work to help him...and he doesn't seem to understand that. I realize he probably never will. But I am a lost momma today...and lately...
I have no contact with any of my family, other than 1 sister who lives two states away. She has a child similar to mine, so we do a lot of emailing, texting, and talking about the boys. The only real support that I have here in town in my ex-husband's mother and even she is at her wits end. She takes all three kids one night per week, so I at least get a tiny break. My other two children unfortunately do not get that break. Their "break" from their brother is school. I have him in another daycare so that they also get that "break" during no-school days, summer, etc.
I try hard to make sure that the other two children aren't forgotten about...but it's soooo hard. It seems that my middle child ALWAYS needs something from me. Just having an especially hard time this week with it.