My grandson has ODD. (Or did. He has been upgraded to just ADHD. ) It is very helpful to have a PSR worker and a psychiatrist on board. The PSR worker can help you in parenting techniques and the psychiatrist can prescribe a med that will help her. You might also look into literature on Love and Logic. This parenting technique is very helpful and so realistic and logical. I wish you luck.

I'm sorry to hear what you are going through. I don't fight with my own son anymore after I realized that was what he wanted to do, it actually frustrates and calms him at the same time when I refuse to respond or respond out of context. He was diagnosed at 14 and is 17 now. What did help me was a book about boundaries (I forget the name now), and learning to allow him to make his own choices and suffer his own consequences.

What exactly is understood about this "disorder"? From what I reading, it sounds like there are some unruly children out there who are being given absolution, along with their parents, through medicinal opinion. It's very difficult for those of us on the outside to see this as a disorder, syndrome or disease. It looks very much like a convenient way for parents to make themselves feel better about the job they are doing, teach their children that they aren't responsible for their actions and, most of all, it's an excellent way for doctors and big pharma to create new drug markets. Plus, for those of us that don't have a child with a "disorder", we still have to pay for child because he magically has an IEP now. It doesn't matter if he strikes my child - he has an excuse, and I have to pay for him. Awesome.

Can anyone tell my why a child with supposed ODD, that does NOT have ADHD, shouldn't just get a good butt-whooping like the rest of us did? And can you tell me why I should help pay for your child, when it's tough enough paying for mine? Even if it's a disorder, it's certainly not a disability that should fall under IDEA.

I have 6yr. son that was diagnosed with ODD, and I knew something was wrong when he would fight as a baby with his brothers. So he has been offered meds for odd, but over the summer I stopped giving it to him, bc of the way he acted while taking it. He seemed more emotional crying spells that lasted for 20-30 minutes, feeling depressed. I even changed his school so that he could be in a new environment and he did very well. Now he's back at his old school, due to transportation issues, its been hard on him too. He is misbehaving on a daily, sent out of the classroom due to his disturbance and in ISS. I personally, dont know what to do. I love my son, but I want him to be healthier and we need to know how to live with this issue. Its not fair when people judge others because of a disorder or disability that they cannot control. I have had several teachers at my sons school with no training in this specific disorder, so they automatically label the child, instead of finding positive ways to help the child while at school. Besides, my own health is compromised, I have RA and use a cane to walk, so Im sure this affects my family as well. If anyone has any suggestions of things that i can use at home or school, please share. Thanks.

My son (10) also has ODD. We adopted him as a 3 year old. He is soooooo difficult. I totally get what you are going through. We are very experienced parents and foster parents. We tried for 5 years to guide this child with love, boundaries, good nutrition. We made some progress, especially with attachment, but he was still totally disrupting the family and almost impossible to control. We finally put him on medication, which has helped SO much. He is still very difficult. But I have learned that the correct medication is imperitive, and the right kind of pills that can cover him 24 hrs a day. It's also important to get them into counseling. It helps them, but it also gives you a backup should you need it for legal reasons (true). Our son happens to be very violent, hurting us and breaking things - windows, holes in the wall, etc. Caring for and controlling him is the toughest thing we have ever done. I get what you are dealing with. One thing that has helps a lot is to find out what encourages them. For my son it is money. We implemented a system from the book "Entitlement Trap" by Eyring. He is responsible to buy all of his own clothes and toys and birthday presents for friends. He earns money every day for doing what I expect (making bed, ready on time, brush teeth, keep clothes picked up, jobs, etc.) It doesn't cost more because you figure up what this child costs you in allowance, clothes, toys, extra stuff in a year. Then divide it up among the days of the year and that is what he can earn each day. It really works because my son wants to control EVERYTHING. This way he has a constant reward for good behavior and earns money for what he wants, and feels like he is in control. Of course there are boundaries - I say how much candy, he has to spend so much a year on clothes, etc. Find out what inspires them, put them in couseling, get the meds right. Hang in there mama !!!!!!!!!

To the_darkness - you are WAY out of line. You have no idea what parents of ODD children go through. Staff off this kind of site if you are going to behave like that. Not helpful !!!!

Also, some kids are really reactive to foods or colorings. It can trigger really bad behavior. The book "What's eating our kids?" is a good source.

My 11 year old daughter has ADHD/ODD, and I know exactly what you are dealing with! I am so sorry. It is next to impossible to explain to parents of normal children how all- consuming and traumatic it is for all members of the family living with a true ODD child. It tests your own sanity on a daily basis. This is NOT just a kid that needs a spanking! There is a hard-wired moral defect here, and NOTHING works. Believe me, because I my husband and I have tried for years. We are happily married, have a traditional discipline home, and three other emotionally happy and healthy children. With true ODD, it can literally feel like you have a child from hell. And it is NO ONE'S fault.
About 2 mos. ago, I was in your shoes, rallygirlz. My daughter was so bad that my husband and I were on the verge of bringing her to a psych hospital. After trying different medications for her ADHD and depression, along with cognitive behavioral therapy and visits to a psychiatrist things actually got worse. It was through my own research that I discovered that ODD children are often treated with the smallest possible dose of anti-psychotic medications
( Abilify, Risperdal) with phenomenal success. Some theorize that the ADHD/ODD is a precursor to Bipolar Disorder.
Needless to say, my daughter's psychiatrist was so wonderful and truly wanted to help our suffering family. He was totally on board to try the Abilify (2mg) treatment. She is taking only this one small pill a day and she is a totally different person! Her rages, her disrespect, defiance, OCD issues, anxiety and general difficulty in every area of life have all either disappeared or are minor and easily dealt with now.
Here is a link to an ADHD/ODD podcast by a doctor who is an expert on the subject. I found it so informative and comforting at the same time. This is primarily where the information about medicating with Abilify came from. You are not alone, and I will pray for you and all the families dealing with these children. Perhaps this podcast will enlighten some of the more ignorant commentators in this forum who think they know and have experienced it all.
Good luck - better days are on the horizon!

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