Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) Support Group

Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) an ongoing pattern of disobedient, hostile, and defiant behavior toward authority figures that goes beyond the bounds of normal childhood behavior. When a child cannot seem to control his anger or frustration, even over what seems to be trivial or simple to others, the child will often react in violent or negative ways to his own...

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Children's Mental Health
/ Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) Support Group

helpless

Mikiluc
Mikiluc

Hi,I'm new to the site,I have a 7 year old Grandson who has been diagnosed with ADHD and possible ODD,which as a famiyl we are sure he has.


We are in Scotland and the mental health provision for children is at breaking point,as a family we have decided to go private,our GP is referring him to a specialist.


Our lovely boy is like 2 people,empathetic and loving one minute,the next he is kicking,screaming,breaking things and speaking vile things that he's never heard at home,one of his sisters is frightened of him and my daughter has had door alarms fitted on the bedroom doors,he was standing at the side of my daughter and son-in-laws bed the other night with a knife in his hand,hence the alarms.


When he gets into what we call an episode there is no turning back,no strategies work,they just have to ride it out,he is only in school for 2 hours a day and sometimes not even that as he has been distructive at school too.


There are 4 children and 2 step children at weekends so its very hard going,my daughter is exhausted and so stressed,she does have support from family and friends,she spent a night away at a friends house this week,now Hubbie is having one too.


To watch a loveable,gentle soul turn into someone else is horrendous,its heartbreaking when he calms after an episode he said "I don't like that insert name,he's not nice and I don't want him to come back ever again",the tears we have cried and the thought of him being like this for the rest of his life is so distressing.


Pleased to have found this forum where I can unburden and be understood.



3billen
3billen
I hope he gets to see a specialist very soon. It seems like a very dangerous situation. My son has threatened with knives too. He's now medicated but it only helps a little and the side effects are bad. So now we're gonna try neurofeedback in a few weeks. Hopefully this will help him. I hope all goes well with your family and let me know how it went with the new specialist. Take care.
Mikiluc
Mikiluc
Thankyou for replying,it means so much.

Can you tell me what neurofeedback is,our Grandson also has Epilepsy and the meds have side effects too,diagnosed at 3 years old its Atonic Epliepsy he has,which was hard to come to terms with too,poor lamb.
3billen
3billen
Hi Mikiluc. You can get tons of info thru Google and youtube. ☺
Mikiluc
Mikiluc
Thankyou 3 billen,will have a trawl through today while I have time.
deedeebee
deedeebee
I'm so sorry to hear that your daughter is going through this. It's nice that you are concerned and compassionate. Often times, family members do not understand and think it's the parent's fault. My son is 13 years old. He showed signs of ODD since he was about 4 years old. He also had epilepsy, but it resolved after a couple years of taking medication for it with no seizures. He is no longer on epilepsy medication. He also seemed to have a split personality, where he could be sweet and caring or out of control and violent (brandishing knives). We tried Neurofeedback as well at some point, and it did not work for him. When he was 11 years old, his moods really deteriorated to the point that he was suicidal. He was eventually diagnosed with depression and anxiety. He tried several medications, and he became much worse at one point, having a reaction to one of the meds. Right now, he has been on Wellbutrin for about a year, and it has really helped him. I hope this information helps you in some small way. At least, know that you are not alone and others understand.
Mikiluc
Mikiluc
Thankyou deedeebee,do you think there was a link between your son's behaviour and the epilepsy meds,our Grandson was OK until he took the meds for his epilepsy,but then again,may be just coincidence.
I had him yesterday after his 2 hours at school,we have bought him a super duper science kit as this is his favourite topic,we spent 2 hours making potions etc,then gave him a break to the playpark,he was fine until dinner,boy,first he was having it,then he was'nt,then we were starving him,eventually he ate some meat and carrots.
We try to keep the school routine going at home as he is exceptionally bright and don't want him to miss out,I was exhausted and in bed for 9-30.
To hear that you have kept going all those years deedeebee gives me hope that we can do this too,because we love him so much and when he is just himself he's adorable.
He was shopping with Mum a few weeks back and saw a homeless man on the street,so he took his pocket money to the bakers and bought a 2 sausage rolls,a cake and can of juice.
My husbands friends Mum passed away recently and our grandson hugged Grampa and said how awful it must be for his friend and could he send him a card,its when we see this we are determined to do the best we can,hopefully the future is brighter for him.
Mikiluc
Mikiluc
Hi Dana,Thankyou for your offer and I will be happy to take you up on that,our Grandson has issues with food,for 2 weeks all he would eat was eggs,toast and yoghurts,at the moment its macoroni cheese,pears,jelly and crisps.
HTW
HTW
Hi Mikiluc

The best is to get your grandson to an ADHD specialist - google who the best and most recommended person in your area is and if there isn't one, go to a city - the sooner one gets these children properly diagnosed and onto the correct treatment, the sooner their behaviour becomes manageable, the caregivers give positive feedback and the child starts to feel better. Rather than going from pillar to post, find out who the experts are and make the appointment. Also explain to all the people your grandson is around, that he can't help it and that his parents are trying to get help. And all the literature I've read, recommends therapy for the child and caregivers on how to manage the child, as well as medication. There is a wealth of information on free online websites such as ADDITUDE, where they discuss the correct diets for people with low dopamine levels (people with ADD and ADHD etc) as well as all the conditions that are invariably present with the ADD: anxiety, depression, ODD, bi-polar disorders, autism and its various spectrums etc. The more you know, the more you will have empathy for the child and the more you can educate others who come in contact with your grandson so that they can deal with him with empathy! A really good book I read as well, was 'I always want to be where I'm not', by ADHD specialist psychologist Wes Crankshaw - it's a brilliant summary and explanation of peopple with ADD/ADHD
SufferingDaily
SufferingDaily
I would love to be added to the nutrition group as well. I have a 9 year old son that is severely affected by ADHD and probably many other things as we can't seem to find any help in our town. It's the most frustrating and isolating illness ever...
Mikiluc
Mikiluc
Thankyou HTW,he has seen someone on the NHS,however its too slow,1 year for first appointment and 10 months for second one,they now have him down as URGENT and thats been for the last 5 weeks,we have seen our GP and he has referred him to a private specialist and should have an appointment within 10 days,expensive but we will all chip in,always believed in the NHS(we are in Scotland) but childrens mental health services are in crisis here,we have read up quite a lot on all these conditions and are prepared for a diagnosis,we have good support and are grateful for that.