Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) Support Group
Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) an ongoing pattern of disobedient, hostile, and defiant behavior toward authority figures that goes beyond the bounds of normal childhood behavior. When a child cannot seem to control his anger or frustration, even over what seems to be trivial or simple to others, the child will often react in violent or negative ways to his own...
My daughter is 12, diagnosed with ODD, ADHD, and Bindge eating disorder. (I also have three other kids two typical and one with Learning Disabilities.) We are in therapy, up to our eyeballs in debt from a summer spent at an eating disorder clinic (fail) and on meds, off meds, on new meds...
I am meanwhile loosing MY damn mind. I think we are having a good day, things are manageable, life is ticking along then one of my other kids stumbles on the results of Jada's bindging. But it's not just bindging.. it's also bindging on things she's stolen. Girl Scout cookies locked in the trunk of my car waiting to be delivered to a customer, icing from the Birthday in a Box for Charity that she carefully choose and packed up for her Youth in Action group, Ramen noodles that are stored in her sisters locked bedroom that she jimmed open with a butter knife.. and I'm back to square one. She swears that the Ramen is the only thing, I tell her if I find more she's in even more trouble. She promises. I find more. She has no excuse.
I feel like I'm raising a psychopath half the time and then the other half of the time I hate myself for thinking that. I do not know what to do. Proffesionals emphathize, poorly.. but my refridgerator is still chained shut and my cabnents are scuffed up from her getting up in the middle of the night and unscrewing the locks. My other kids are trying not to hate her. Hell, I'm trying not to hate her.
No one gets it.. I DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO.
I get it! Hang in there Gem, I can see you care so much for your daughter, keep strong and try to keep a close relationship with her.
I’m sure my 16yr old has ODD and ADHD but he hasn’t been officially diagnosed. This week I shouted at him calling him a psychopath while he kept me hostage in our flat. I had to leave for a meeting but he physically wouldn’t let me go. He tried to pull my bag away from me so that I wouldn’t call anyone, then he put his fist through the glass of one of our family photos on the wall (quite symbolic really) and proceeded to push me into the room, where I had to tread on the broken glass.
My other two children are typical children who also suffer as a result of his behaviour. He has dropped out of school and the attendance lady at the school has officially written on his form that the “mother just makes excuses for him” The problem with mental illness is the average person can’t “see” it, like a broken leg. Unfortunately, those with physical illnesses get much more sympathy and help.
Over the years of constant struggles with him, I think I have fallen into the trap of subconsciously showing more loving emotion to the other two children and my 16yo has picked up on that, even if it’s quite subtle. His behaviour has not been attention seeking but “care seeking”, so lately I have been giving him a lot more praise and love. And more of my time; he has a talent for artistic drawing so I asked him to teach me how to sketch as well as he does.
I think if we try to visualise their mental illness like a “broken leg”; it’s not their fault, they can’t help the way they feel and they are just trying to cope with it. As Mums, the best we can do is always keep that in mind and give them lots of love. And in the meantime try to hold it together ourselves and believe we’ll get through it.