you son may have comorbidity--meaning more then one diagnosis. Behavioral issues like ODD go hand in hand with kids who have one of the Autism spectrums, ADHD, Learning Disabilities--You as the parent has to learn how to respond and react to your child to diffuse the anger. Through much reading and re-educating ourselves as parents is the key to helping our children. Some techniques work and some don't but you have to keep trying and find the one that works for you. What works for us, is when he's getting into that frustrated/rage temperment is to walk a way--disconnect from him. It took months of doing so but now--the situation does not get nearly out of control as it would in the past. We also found that Gluten, and food colorings were big triggers for him. He was tested for Gluten Intolerance and his genetic markers for the intolerance were through the roof. So we took it out of his diet and even though we still have our fair share of moments, things are better. If you think your child has Aspbergers--You have to keep in mind that he may have a language or APD disorder as well, which means, his physical hearing is fine, but what he hears may not be getting to his brain correctly--there are many processing disorders--our son has MERLD with sensory and bilateral coordination along with possible seizures and DCD or dyspraxia--so you can see many conditions may be involved which makes dealing with a child with anger issues that much more challenging. Do yourself a favor and go to sites like empowering parents.com pick up some tips and see if they help you. It was a great resource for myself and husband. You have to incorporate anything that works for you within his circle. So if he's at sitters or grandparents, they have to be onboard with the same techniques.

My son, 17 , is ADHD, OCD, ODD and Aspergers. A very frustrating mix. Don't have any advice, would love some to come my way. Just wanted to let you know that it does exist.

Have you ever noticed if your child has a difficulty in understanding what you are saying? Kids with these types of conditions often have language processing disorders. Mine happens to have both expressive and receptive language disorder. This poses many challenges and having to keep sentences small for him to understand and be difficult for us adults. Momofg-your son is 17 and if he has this condition then it will be harder for you, where as my son is 7 and the speech pathologist is working with him on MERLD condition. It's something you may want to watch and consider. See how they react when you ask them a question. You can clearly see when my son doesn't get what you are saying, he gets this lost look on his face, and I don't mean an inattentive look but a look like--I have no idea--sometimes he will just say I don't know when it has no bearing on the question. That is when we really know he didn't get it. Picture that in a classroom setting when the teacher is just rambling on and on and on-The kid can't keep up with the teacher so they go off in there own little worlds-this is where some kids are missed diagnosed as ADHD when it's actually a language disorder.

I've suspected for a long time that my son legitimately doesn't follow what people are saying. So many people say that he has "selective hearing", when in reality I don't always think that's the issue. He's 10, so of course there's a bit of "selective hearing" now and again...but a lot of times, especially if I'm speaking quickly, he just stares at me with a blank look. No confusion, just blank. He rarely asks me to repeat myself, just waits for me to tell him to do something again or until I come see why he hasn't worked on what I asked of him. My son also has serious problems picking up non-verbal cues from people. He can't seem to tell the difference in facial expressions, when a person is upset, sad, confused. Sometimes, I think he just doesn't care about anybody else...but again, I don't think that's always the issue. I think sometimes he can't "read" people at all. He has a sensory overload problem also. Lots of people milling around and talking wind him up. Taking him to the store is nearly impossible because all the commotion disorients him. I think that's a huge part of his problems at daycare too. He does a million times better with a strict schedule. He wants to know what will happen when...down to the minute. I think he's finally starting to realize that life can't be planned to the MINUTE, but he still gets upset. Last night, he was angry because supper wasn't ready at 5:30, because he knows that's supper time. 6p wasn't ok with him. That's a hard thing too...think we have him kinda working towards a more general time frame...that I will pick him up from daycare between 4 and 4:20, that supper will be done between 5:30 and 6, that shower time is between 6 and 6:30. Huge step in the right direction for us...lol

My son is oblivious to time, we have to try to keep him on a schedule or he will get nothing done. My son's patience is lacking but he's good about waiting for supper to be done. If we want him to do something by a certain time frame we have to keep on him or it will never get done.
I had to laugh when you wrote about selective hearing because I used to joke about our son inheriting his fathers selective hearing. His father has some hearing issues from working on cranes in mills and other loud facilities. Now that we know our son has a legitimate problem we know to make sure he has our attention before speaking to him. It's still a work in progress though to remember to use short sentences.

If you feel your son has a language issue you should speak with a speech/language pathologist to see if you can get an evaluation. Get it done while he's still young.

For the record I did not agree that my son had Adhd which is what he was labeled just so he could get a 504 plan for school and I am glad I stuck to my gones because we are finding that he has a slew of issues--but I believe they are all connected.

Oh, I am a firm believer that ADD and ADHD are waaaaaaay too over-diagnosed. I think it's a blanket diagnosis for doctors who realize there is an issue, but don't want to take the time or don't have the training to find the actual issue(s). My son has never been diagnosed that, but he takes a medication that is given to children with it. I specifically asked today when we went to the doc what my son's official diagnosis is, and he simply said ODD and walked away from me. Not happy at all with this doctor.