I thought I was going to have a break down this morning to be honest. My child has gotten to where she doesn't want to go to school. I had to tell her that I would be contacting the school about this if she didn't get up and get ready to go. (She is starting to do this on a regular basis) She really doesn't want me to do that so she got ready but still gave me a little bit of a hard time.

I thought I was going to have a heart attack literally with such a tight chest. So getting on here and just writing it down helps me to cope. It can't stay bottled in. Also knowing that each moment is a moment each day is a new day helps as well. I use forgiveness to forgive her, myself for being dysregulated at times, and I ask for forgiveness from my higher being. Then I rest while I can when she is at school.

merrymay I had a bad morning with my son too. He has this underarmour shirt he wears under his tshirts every day, he has 4 others just like it but he only likes the way this one fits so we have to wash it every night. Well it didn't get thrown in the dryer last night. I tried to get it dry before he woke up but he freaked out when he found out it didn't get dried last night. Total dysregulation, he yelled and cursed and told me what bad parents we were. I knew it wasn't completely about the shirt so I tried my best to listen to him filtering out the bad words. What I could gather is his class is going to the planetarium today and he is worried that he will have to go with the special ed kids, not the ones like him with behavior and learning disabilities (he's in alternative school) but the ones that are mentally challenged and in wheelchairs as they normally combine their outings with the two groups. he doesn't understand that they are trying to teach him responsibility and compassion by allowing him to help out with these kids (I am sure he is not mean to them or the school wouln't let him around them but I think he is embarrassed about being with them). I told him he will love the planetarium and he just said 'oh yeah it'll be fun when 'they' are yelling all the time. So I am pretty sure this was his main worry this morning and the shirt issue was what pushed him over the edge. So that is how I deal with it. I look past his behavior and try to figure out what the real issue is. A lot of times the truth comes out and we can talk about it or at least I can understand him better. He actually calmed down a little before I dropped him off at school so I told him that I was concerned about how he flies off the handle when things don't go his way and his words really hurt and my feelings were hurt. he told me that was his intention. I explain to him that I can deal with it because I am his mom and I will love him no matter what, but once he starts having relationships with girls and he treats them like that, they aren't going to last or be very good if they do. I also told him that things don't always go the way we plan and we run into bumps in the road but we have to compromise and make the best out of them rather than ranting and raving and saying hurtful things to people we love. That was my teaching opportunity. He can take it or leave it but deep down he knows I'm right. My advice is to be empathetic and try to find the root of the problem, address the concern don't try to fix it and teach them a better way to deal with their problems. I know, easier said than done but it does seem to be working for us. He's much better than he used to be and I don't get so upset as often as I used to.

I am a student, I have two almost three teenagers, one is my daughter, the other two are my boyfriends sons, my son that is 9 he has odd, adhd, and is behind in school. I also have Adhd between the kids, taking care of the house, work and school. I get so overhelmed. At night is where most of my stress comes from after they give home from school, I am trying to get dinner ready and help my son with his homework and usually there is some kind of activity going on where I have to pick up and drop off at least one or more of the kids. Does anyone have any advice or understand what I am going through?

I understand. My boys are 19 and 14 and my husband works all of the time so I get to be the cook, maid and chauffer plus work a full time job. The oldest isn't an issue anymore other than he hasn't worked for a while, hoping he gets a job soon so I dont have to keep giving him money. They youngest is the one with ADHD/ODD and learning disabilities. He is very active into sports and social events so it seems I am constantly having to take him places. I use my crock pot a lot or try to plan dinners ahead. There are times I cook dinner before I go to work or over my lunch hour so we can just heat up and go. Thankfully my son has an IEP and has had access to the resource room to get help with his homework so he very rarely has it. When he does, it's living hell and really never gets done so I just allow him to suffer the consequences the school doles out for that and I don't stress about it. Has the school evaluated your son for any disabilities that would cause him to be behind? If not, and you think there is some underlying reason, you should definitely request an evaluation. If you could get him an IEP or a 504 plan it would make both of your lives a lot easier...provided your school district is cooperative.

Just joined this today...as I need help myself...I try to keep my cool and I am really struggling to deal with this...my little foster child 5 has not been diagnosed with anything but I do suspect she has ODD she continually throws tantrums, constantly annoys everyone in the house, if she doesnt get her own way she throws another tantrum....the list just goes on....it is the 2nd last day of school holidays today so only one more day to go....to survive I send her to vacation care, I try to organise respite, we go away for weekends alot as she is fairly well behaved when we go away, and I just go ahhhhhhh when she falls asleep at night....

Good question how do you deal with the emotional roller coaster with a child(ren) with ODD? I was ready to do myself in over the weekend because I just couldn't take it anymore. Any little thing we suggest or recommend or ask becomes this huge episode of anger, and arguing(which we don't argue back), him kicking the dog, punching his bedroom door(which we removed from the hinges) etc etc etc. Nothing we do helps when he's like this--I have had times when I have spanked him, I have slapped him across the face--I am not proud to say any of this, because I myself was abused as a child and I don't like physical punishment, but it seems it's the only way we get him to settle down. I don't want him thinking or getting the idea that it's okay to hit someone--I have recently started walking away from him but the emotional toll it's taking on me. I'm not a healthy person to begin with and the stress he creates in the house is unbearable at times. We just want some peace. Is that too much to ask for?

Oh, I hear you! Same stuff here. Some days you can ignore it, other days you scream, yell, plead, and still on other days you want to run away and never come back. this weekend was rough for us. My husband and daughter clash, all the time, and I'm in the middle. She thinks if she doesn't talk to him they won't fight and he thinks that's disrespectful. He gets his feelings hurt very easily when it comes to things she says to him, "I hate you, I wish you would get divorced, etc... so the other night the three of us get into a "discussion", and in the end my husband goes to our room and slams the door, and she goes into her room and slams the door, and I'm left to sit on the couch wondering, what the hell just happened here? I sometimes find myself wishing I had a nice, compliant, quiet daughter, who helps us out without asking and we would have peace in our house. I feel we'll never get any peace.
My daughter too has been wanting to miss school too. She informed the other day I'll be getting mail from the school because after this break she'll be on ISS (in school suspension). She's been failing some of her classes and getting detention alot this year. It's so scary!