Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Support Group
Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is a psychiatric disorder, more specifically, an anxiety disorder. OCD is manifested in a variety of forms, but is most commonly characterized by a subject's obsessive (repetitive, distressing, intrusive) thoughts and related compulsions (tasks or rituals) which attempt to neutralize the obsessions.
For the past 11 years, I have been struggling with anxiety and ocd, which has focused on responsibility ocd...worried that my irresponsible actions will make others sick, or worse...
Last week I took my young son fishing (I never fish, he asked). We were fishing off a pier and my line got tangled in the reel and couldn't reel in my line. For some reason, instead of pulling in line, hook and bait by hand (would have taken probably a few minutes), I cut the line, thus sending the hook, bait and some line into the bottom of the channel where we were fishing. Shortly thereafter, and for the past 10 days, I think that I have carelessly contaminated the waters...that a fish will take that hook with the bait. Then, someone will catch the fish and miss getting the hook out of its stomach. The person eating the fish will accidentally ingest the hook, get sick, or worse, die.
I guess writing this makes it look a little far-fetched, but I can think of little else. Am getting back on Sertraline which I have weened myself off of twice before and started CBT this week. Can't take it anymore..four kids and I am like a zombie.
Last week I took my young son fishing (I never fish, he asked). We were fishing off a pier and my line got tangled in the reel and couldn't reel in my line. For some reason, instead of pulling in line, hook and bait by hand (would have taken probably a few minutes), I cut the line, thus sending the hook, bait and some line into the bottom of the channel where we were fishing. Shortly thereafter, and for the past 10 days, I think that I have carelessly contaminated the waters...that a fish will take that hook with the bait. Then, someone will catch the fish and miss getting the hook out of its stomach. The person eating the fish will accidentally ingest the hook, get sick, or worse, die.
I guess writing this makes it look a little far-fetched, but I can think of little else. Am getting back on Sertraline which I have weened myself off of twice before and started CBT this week. Can't take it anymore..four kids and I am like a zombie.
I have suffered with responsibility OCD and scrupulosity my whole life. Really, responsibility OCD is just a fear of harm OCD. You don't want to hurt someone. I have the exact same fear but via different manifestations. I know what you're going through. It "feels" real, but my therapist constantly reminds me that feelings are not facts. We have a faulty switch in our brains that make situations like these seem apparently real. The goal is to sit with the unknown and the anxiety. Have you worked with a good therapist to do some exposures around this? Maybe write a script about the worst possible scenario?
Thank you for posting such wisdom. It sounds like you have a lot of experience with this. My motto is "It's always so much easier said, than done." The hard work, the really hard work, is refusing yourself to give in to your compulsion to calm your obsession when it occurs. I am very weak at this. I'm trying to get stronger all the time, but it hurts to not calm yourself with the "compulsion".
We all have varying manifestations of OCD, but they are all the same in a sense. OCD carries many faces.