Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Support Group
Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is a psychiatric disorder, more specifically, an anxiety disorder. OCD is manifested in a variety of forms, but is most commonly characterized by a subject's obsessive (repetitive, distressing, intrusive) thoughts and related compulsions (tasks or rituals) which attempt to neutralize the obsessions.
Hi all,
I don't normally post on this board, but I needed some advice. I am worried my mother is becoming a hoarder. I recently moved back home after college and have taken it upon myself to reduce some of my possessions, especially those suited for dorm life. The thing is, my Mom has insisted on inspecting everything I throw away. I don't just throw things out on a whim mind you; I am very conscious of the value of a dollar and most of the things I decide to discard are either specifically for a dorm room, broken, or redundant (meaning there is already something that performs the same function in the house). I don't like to waste either, I give things to Big Brothers/ Big Sisters, and even leave somethings in front of my house with a "free" sign on them.
Our basement has always been cluttered, but recently we haven't been able to access parts of it, it is so stuffed. I noticed this trend coinciding with new, extreme pressures my mother has been facing at work.
I don't think she has full blown "hoarding" as she is usually able to reason that "things" are just "things" after I ask her to stop and analyze; she even acknowledges that she has trouble letting things go. Over the past few days, however, while I have been cleaning she has been inspecting the garbage and bringing some things back in. Tonight was particularly bad, I threw away old cooking supplies from school and she brought back things like broken items, rusted or faulty utensils and even things like half used and dirty cupcake cups. I am noticing triggers in her vocabulary like "I might use this one day" and other cues to the effect that even though she does not want the item, she cannot bare to discard it.
The rest of my family and her friends have been working with me to help her let go of things, and she has been great, but I fear she may be backsliding. My parents have worked hard all of their lives and their dream is to have a clean and beautiful house. I am trying to help give them that before I move out, but I have been finding my mother to be the biggest obstacle to fulfilling her own dream. I'd love any advice you have.
Thanks
I don't normally post on this board, but I needed some advice. I am worried my mother is becoming a hoarder. I recently moved back home after college and have taken it upon myself to reduce some of my possessions, especially those suited for dorm life. The thing is, my Mom has insisted on inspecting everything I throw away. I don't just throw things out on a whim mind you; I am very conscious of the value of a dollar and most of the things I decide to discard are either specifically for a dorm room, broken, or redundant (meaning there is already something that performs the same function in the house). I don't like to waste either, I give things to Big Brothers/ Big Sisters, and even leave somethings in front of my house with a "free" sign on them.
Our basement has always been cluttered, but recently we haven't been able to access parts of it, it is so stuffed. I noticed this trend coinciding with new, extreme pressures my mother has been facing at work.
I don't think she has full blown "hoarding" as she is usually able to reason that "things" are just "things" after I ask her to stop and analyze; she even acknowledges that she has trouble letting things go. Over the past few days, however, while I have been cleaning she has been inspecting the garbage and bringing some things back in. Tonight was particularly bad, I threw away old cooking supplies from school and she brought back things like broken items, rusted or faulty utensils and even things like half used and dirty cupcake cups. I am noticing triggers in her vocabulary like "I might use this one day" and other cues to the effect that even though she does not want the item, she cannot bare to discard it.
The rest of my family and her friends have been working with me to help her let go of things, and she has been great, but I fear she may be backsliding. My parents have worked hard all of their lives and their dream is to have a clean and beautiful house. I am trying to help give them that before I move out, but I have been finding my mother to be the biggest obstacle to fulfilling her own dream. I'd love any advice you have.
Thanks
deleted_user
Yes I think she is sliding towards it. when I cleaned out my house years ago my O.CD mothr grabbed a lot of it,even though things literally fall out of the shelves and she never used it. She literally can't stand to see ANYONE throw things away. You may need to tell her that you don't want those things hanging around and that keeping it only causes you to feel cluttered.Hope she will listen.
joe42909
Thanks for the reply. We have actually had that conversation and even tried test runs; both of which she does wonderfully with. When we tackle the actual mess though, she tends to withdraw into her little shell and yell that I am "throwing away for the sake of throwing away". I try and have her stop and analyze the situation and think of her goals for the house. I ask her to take a break and truly analyze the actual value and meaning of an object, but if she has "checked out" she just shuts down. Of course I would never just throw things away without her there because all that will result is her getting angry and the space being filled back in. I suppose my main obstacle in the process is countering her defense mechanism. My mom gets very passive aggressive and tries to instill guilt in me and my family when we clean. It doesn't work one bit mind you, but when she is in this mindset, she is absolutely positive that she is right in the situation.
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