Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Support Group
Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is a psychiatric disorder, more specifically, an anxiety disorder. OCD is manifested in a variety of forms, but is most commonly characterized by a subject's obsessive (repetitive, distressing, intrusive) thoughts and related compulsions (tasks or rituals) which attempt to neutralize the obsessions.
Hi. I'm a 23 year old female who's been with my boyfriend for a little under a year. We used to go out and drink a lot together, and I had my nights where I don't remember bits and pieces. I never felt guilty about this at the time, or worried that I did anything wrong. I do not drink any more, I realized that it does nothing good for me, but looking back, I have been obsessing over if there's any chance that i've cheated (kissed) anyone during these time periods that I don't remember. There is not one thing pointing to me having done anything, & I feel that i'd be faithful since I care about him very much, but the what-ifs won't leave my head. It's all I think about day and night, for at least 3 months. I've made my mom annoyed calling her during the day to convince me that I have nothing to worry about, and even talked to him about forgiving me if I did do anything, but I cannot get rid of the feelings of guilt, even though I don't think I have any reason to feel guilty. I feel horrible about myself and keep going back and analyzing every single night over and over again. I don't even know what i'm trying to prove to myself. I'm pushing away my family and my boyfriend whom I love very much because I can't just forgive myself for something that I don't even know that i've done in the first place.
I used to have physical ocd traits, but lately it's just this guilt, and the compulsion to always confess every thing I feel bad about. I have become the most obscenely honest person i've ever heard of.
Does anyone else have issues with ocd / guilt / honesty? Please give me advice on how to deal with that before I end up even more alone with this than I am already!
I used to have physical ocd traits, but lately it's just this guilt, and the compulsion to always confess every thing I feel bad about. I have become the most obscenely honest person i've ever heard of.
Does anyone else have issues with ocd / guilt / honesty? Please give me advice on how to deal with that before I end up even more alone with this than I am already!
I guess what I can say somewhere in between good advice & my mistakes is.......
Dont worry about what you may have done try & just forget ok Cus whether you did or didnt you dont know>> & theres nothing you can do & chances are you've done NOTHING. & realize this is your brain tricking you I guess into feeling bad>?? Dont let it happen. You care & seem to be a good person so dont torture yourself. Start fresh from today on>> hey & lay off so much drinking heh heh Jus joking wit ya k?
I know it isn't perfect advice, but the only way I can deal with it in my own case is to take a deep breath and think about what I'm accusing myself of. "is this really possible?" and "if it is, what can I do to make up for it?" are good questions. In your case, you've done all you can, telling your boyfriend, etc. Another thing that may help is to make dinner for your boyfriend, or otherwise do something kind for him, and think of it as "paying back" for your guilty feelings.
Again, I understand that this is easier said than done. But I hope that everything will work out with this issue :)
I kind of felt like bringing everything up to him again (I kept mentioning it, and feeling like I was just frustrating and stressing him out) was just letting the OCD win, but I figured that if he's going to be with me, he'll have to get used to the OCD at some point or another. So I just told him that I don't want him to look at me as guilty of anything if i'm innocent, or innocent if I did do something. He ended up saying that he doesn't think I did anything and he would forgive me if I did, and I told him there's no chance of anything happening again. I think that he realized how much I was beating myself up about the what-ifs. You are exactly right, I will never know if anything happened, so I just have to let it go and start new, so I made sure he knew that I was letting it go.
I'm just amazed that other people do have the guilt complex. But after reading these responses, I really do feel a ton better about it. So thanks so much :)