Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Support Group
Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is a psychiatric disorder, more specifically, an anxiety disorder. OCD is manifested in a variety of forms, but is most commonly characterized by a subject's obsessive (repetitive, distressing, intrusive) thoughts and related compulsions (tasks or rituals) which attempt to neutralize the obsessions.
When I originally told my boyfriend that I have OCD, he told me he doesn't think OCD really exists. Let me add here that we're in college, I'm the psychology major, he's the business management major, I think I would know better...anyway, he says that OCD is "all in your head" and it's just something "you just have to get over". Which, to some degree, is true, but not the way he sees it. Basically, he's taken it upon himself to try to "cure" me of it, by basically designing his own cognitive behavioral therapy techniques which drive me crazy. He knows I don't like to do things in 2's, so he'll purposely kiss me twice then run away so I can't get a third. Then he can't stop laughing when I'm chasing him around trying to just get that third kiss so I can stop freaking out. He knows that if I spin around in one direction, I need to spin in the opposite direction to "unwind", so he'll grab me, spin me in one direction, then hold me there so that I can't spin back the other way and ease my anxiety. He says he's trying to "train me", and he knows it drives me nuts. I'm really frustrated that I opened up to him about my OCD, something I'm kind of embarassed about, and then he decides to use it just to drive me crazy. He says he's doing it because he's trying to help because he cares about me, but I feel like the right way to "help" would be to encourage me to get real help from a professional, not to take it upon himself to try to fix the problem himself. Has anyone else had a similar problem? Any suggestions on how to handle it?
The best thing for you right now is get the RIGHT type of support. If he can't give that to you right now than maybe don't discuss it. I'm not going to say break up. Couples find ways to cope with this. I would say that he continues this after you talk to him than maybe its time to have another talk with him. Keep your head up. You're not alone in this. Hope everything works out. Stay in touch.
Sounds like you have a cocky BF,,,,,I think you need a new BF! If you go to one of the bigger schools in the Boston area (BC, BU), there are many more fish in the sea,,,,,,you are only 19, cute and have many BFs ahead of you before you get married,,,,,I would throw this "fish" back!
I cannot urge you strongly enough to get professional help,,,,in the Boston area there are many shrinks who specialize in OCD,,,,,,the OCD Clinic at Mass General Hosp is in Charlestown and there are many shrinks at Mclean hosp in Belmont that specialize in OCD,,,,you could call the "OCD Institute" at Mclean hosp for a referral,,,,,,
I hate to say this about your unknowledgable, inexperienced and immature BF, but in his own weird way, he was showing you a small but crude sample of what BT is (that was not CBT which only includes mental compulsions),,,,,,,I have been thru BT and CBT (aka ERP) several times and the whole idea is to expose you to your fears and change your behavior and thoughts (CBT attempts to change just your thoughts),,,,,,,,
Lastly, it also seems that your self-esteem and confidence have taken a shot as most of ours have because it sounds like you are letting your BF dominate the relationship,,,,,,
Anyway, hope you find a new BF and, more importantly, get professional help,,,,,,
I've definitely gone through this before. One BF tried to "toughen" me up like yours is doing. But that doesn't help. It makes things worse. It is not being sensitive to the problem and that is not a healthy way of dealing with things. If he doesn't understand, it's just going to cause you more pain. Also, I had a boyfriend after that who didn't know about my OCD. But once I got a jaywalking ticket (which in itself was totally stupid), so he knew I didn't like to cross the street if the sign didn't say walk even if there were no cars. But one time he dragged me out into the street and didn't let me go until I started screaming at him. Uh...that relationship wasn't healthy either and it's over.