Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Support Group
Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is a psychiatric disorder, more specifically, an anxiety disorder. OCD is manifested in a variety of forms, but is most commonly characterized by a subject's obsessive (repetitive, distressing, intrusive) thoughts and related compulsions (tasks or rituals) which attempt to neutralize the obsessions.
I had this problem when I was little, I would have mean thoughts about my mom. Thoughts popping into my head calling her fat, things like that. I used to confess, even though I knew it hurt her feelings, because I felt like I needed to. I finally stopped.
Now, it's years later and the problem has come back (i've had many many different ocd issues in between, but this second this one's the issue). All of my ocd and guilt goes towards my boyfriend, making me feel as if if he knew every thought that went through my head, he wouldn't want to be with me anymore. I had one thought a few weeks ago about if I thought he was fat. I felt so guilty about this, even though I don't think he is, that I ended up confessing. I stopped thinking about it for a week or so, worried about something else instead. Then, yesterday, a random thought 'beached whale' popped into my head. I don't think that about him, I love him and am extremely attracted to him. I'm just wondering if this thought is because I was so worked up about the previous weight thought, or if something is wrong with me and i'm just a mean critical person-which I pray that i'm not.
I feel guilty not telling him that that thought popped into my head, because I feel like if he knew, he wouldn't want to be with me, or wouldn't want to be with someone like me. That makes me feel like I owe it to him to confess, even though I don't want to hurt his feelings. I need help and advice on how to let go of the guilt, and let go of the thought. Does everybody have weird mean random thoughts like that about people that they care about? Because I really don't feel like it's normal.
Now, it's years later and the problem has come back (i've had many many different ocd issues in between, but this second this one's the issue). All of my ocd and guilt goes towards my boyfriend, making me feel as if if he knew every thought that went through my head, he wouldn't want to be with me anymore. I had one thought a few weeks ago about if I thought he was fat. I felt so guilty about this, even though I don't think he is, that I ended up confessing. I stopped thinking about it for a week or so, worried about something else instead. Then, yesterday, a random thought 'beached whale' popped into my head. I don't think that about him, I love him and am extremely attracted to him. I'm just wondering if this thought is because I was so worked up about the previous weight thought, or if something is wrong with me and i'm just a mean critical person-which I pray that i'm not.
I feel guilty not telling him that that thought popped into my head, because I feel like if he knew, he wouldn't want to be with me, or wouldn't want to be with someone like me. That makes me feel like I owe it to him to confess, even though I don't want to hurt his feelings. I need help and advice on how to let go of the guilt, and let go of the thought. Does everybody have weird mean random thoughts like that about people that they care about? Because I really don't feel like it's normal.
I've been dealing with guilt about my thoughts forever. I started having panic attacks when i realized that I was acting on my thinking and felt extreme urges to speak what was on my mind. But u cant do that all the time. I always thought i was just a blunt and honest person but my therapist has recently realized i might have OCD/ obsessive thinking. I can totally relate to the thoguht about ur bf being fat. Yesterday i was with my friend and a thought popped into my head. She has a big nose and isnt so pretty. I agonized in fear that i would tell her what i felt. Does this happen to u too? This has been happening more and more lately. and im not sure what to do either. I just signed up to this site and was nervous nobody would have the same feelings as me. Thanks for sharing, i dont feel so alone. I dont have any advice for u but my therapist and i will hopefully discuss this. Ill try to get back to u.
Elana
I've been diagnosed with OCD....
But reading it so honestly from others sounds funny.
Yes i do all that to and a lot of times i confess, or send a mean e.mail....
The just not confess advice is a good one.
hugs
Guilt goes along with OCD like snow comes along with the cold,,,,,it is just a big part of many/some OCDers minds,,,,,CBT helped me alot to deal with the guilt,,,,,,
I have alienated sooooo many people with my anger that I do not recommend blurting out nasty comments but if you do, just realize it is part of your OCD and you are doing your best,,,,,there was a time, that I barely cared what I said to whom and was al;most always looking for a fight after years of being crippled about what I MIGHT have said or didnt say or did or didnt do that might have hurt someones feelings,,,,so I have been on both extremes,,,,,,neither one is any good,,,,,,want to get into that gray healthy area,,,,,
The only remedy I know of, are meds and ERP,,,,,