What did the doctors tell you in the hospital? The meds that are given for depression sometimes increase suicidal thoughts. But whether or not it is caused by the meds or by something else going on, you should speak to a doctor or therapist about it or possibly call a hotline if you think you might be at risk. My brother has schizophrenia and he definitely hears voices talking loud and clear to him. They aren't thoughts about voices, but rather distinct voices telling him specific things. Maybe you are having obsessive thoughts over the voices after the hospitalization like you mentioned. The meds take awhile to work. I've been majorly depressed for about 3 months now. For two of those months, I didn't see the point in living, didn't want to live. But I kept working at it and found the right therapist and the right medication. Now i don't cry all the time, and I have actually been happy a couple of times. But I work closely with my doctor and I work hard at getting healthy. I make myself cook, go to work, exercise, do things that I used to enjoy. Depression is very serious and obsessive thoughts can be overwhelming. Continue with treatment!!! Speak with your doctor and never take thoughts of suicide lightly - those are very serious. Good luck!

Please tell your doctor whats going on. I have been in those wards and yes it makes you think am I that way. Well your not. You are obsessing about it and worrying yourself.

The things is you have written what you felt and that is good.

Practice letting go. You are not crazy but you may have ocd but only a doctor can tell you this.
All I know is that I was there and I hated it. I also was scared to death. So I just tell myself I needed the help and let it go at that.
Praying for you.