Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Support Group
Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is a psychiatric disorder, more specifically, an anxiety disorder. OCD is manifested in a variety of forms, but is most commonly characterized by a subject's obsessive (repetitive, distressing, intrusive) thoughts and related compulsions (tasks or rituals) which attempt to neutralize the obsessions.
Hello all!
I am looking for anyone with personal experience with scrupulosity. My boyfriend has a pretty severe case of scrupulosity that is only getting worse with time. I also have OCD (trichotillomania), but my OCD is so different from his that I'm at a total loss how to help.
He has intrusive thoughts and spends a large part of his day praying/apologizing to God for these thoughts. I'm not totally sure exactly what the thoughts are in nature. I know a big one that he spends a lot of time apologizing for is "taking His name in vain." I think sometimes maybe he gets really frustrated with the intrusive thoughts and maybe he curses or uses bad language towards God in his mind or something, and then spends a long time apologizing for being frustrated and taking out his anger on Him. I know that while he is praying and apologizing, he tends to think of more bad things, and has to apologize for those things too. I believe he thinks way more bad thoughts during prayer than he does when he's not praying, but has to apologize for every bad thought. It can become truly exponential. And sometimes he can't remember exactly what he thought, and so he has to try and remember. If he hears a noise while he is praying, this triggers him to think more bad thoughts, and will have to apologize for them. He can't apologize generally for all the bad thoughts, he has to apologize for each specific thought and remember and explain each one.
I'm wondering if anyone with experience with scrulupolosity has advice for someone who is trying to help someone else ease their suffering? If I try to distract him, he gets upset because he becomes triggered to think more bad thoughts, or he gets upset because he "needs to finish." Which, as someone with OCD, I totally get. But I don't know what to do! How does someone prevent someone from thinking things they don't want to think? How does someone convince someone that they don't need to feel guilty for their thoughts? Or that they don't need to pray every single time they think something? If there is a God, and I do believe in God as well, but I can't imagine he would ever let someone suffer so much out of fear or paranoia of Him/Her/whoknows.
If you talk to him about the logic or rationality behind his OCD, he seems to very much see the absurdity of it. But the compulsion is still there. He still believes that his thoughts are bad and he doesn't want God to be upset with him...he is so afraid of going to hell. But he can't stop thinking "bad" thoughts. And so he can't stop praying. Sometimes for hours and hours on end.
I obviously could never control his thoughts....is there anything I can do to help him? Because nothing I do seems to help. :(
Don't take an intrusive thought at face value, It's just the face of anxiety. Stop and think "what am I anxious about."
You can't control your thoughts but you can control how you respond to them. Exposure therapy is at first very uneasy, but eventual makes a huge difference.
With enough exposure, your brain will get bored of a thought. Also remember God knows all, he knows the struggle within your head. Ask him for help in this fight.
Alot of people get intrusive thoughts, the difference with people that have ocd/anxiety is that they think they mean something significant about their being. You are not your brain, you can not control thoughts. They are nothing more than back round chatter in a coffee shop.
The trouble is that your brain can get in this broken loop and not be able to properly shift to the next thought. Exposure therapy helps your brain get bored and shift onto the next thought.
Overall I recommend trying to find a christian psychologist. I was stuck thinking I had to right every wrong I have done. It helped me start to realize that Jesus already died on the cross for our sins. If I confess my sins, I don't need continue to try and do something that Jesus already made the ultimate sacrifice for. I have also found that diet and exercise improves my anxiety which improves the symptom of intrusive thoughts. God Bless and I hope this helps.