I posted this in the alcohol forum, but it belongs here too. Looking back, I can see many of my mistakes. I have severe OCD Pure "O" harm and suicide, google pure "O" it's the worst OCD a person can have, there are also other themes, I may also have Relationship Pure "O". If you are interested in psychology and don't know what it is, check it out. I'm a dumpster fire! You will see how much of a train wreck I really am and why. I worry about everything. I am always keyed up and on edge. Anyone can make me angry and defensive if they hit the wrong nerve. I'm like a balloon and when I pop I explode or implode, however you choose to look at it. There are so many things that can trigger me. I have a constant stream of "What if's" running through my mind constantly stressing me out. No wonder I self-medicate. I'm terrified when I'm not sleeping. It's not an excuse, I just realized why I am so uptight! I don't realize it when it's happening but I'm cosntantly worrying. I'm on meds, but I have never really found anything that takes the edge off. Realizing this is big for me, I have a counselor who will soon be reading this. I need to know how to shut it off! I use alcohol to numb my intrusive thoughts of worthlessness. I knew I have OCD Pure "O", Anxiety, Depression and Tourette's, but this just hit me like a ton of bricks. I have too much alone time and I put myself in a never ending trance of worry and depression! The problem is I haven't found the off switch! I'm messed up! Can anyone relate? Ted