Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Support Group

Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is a psychiatric disorder, more specifically, an anxiety disorder. OCD is manifested in a variety of forms, but is most commonly characterized by a subject's obsessive (repetitive, distressing, intrusive) thoughts and related compulsions (tasks or rituals) which attempt to neutralize the obsessions.

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Stacysushi
Stacysushi

Hello. I am a 30 yo woman who is married to a wonderful man. I've never doubted for a second that he is the man that I want to spend the rest of my life with. When I was younger, as in 7-12, I suffered alot from OCD. Alot of the things I would do would be if I felt like I stepped on something wrong or touched something that didn't feel right I would have to go back and redo it or else I thought my mom would die. I used to lie by my moms bed all through the night to make sure she was breathing. I also would have intrusive unwanted thoughts of harming myself or others. It seems the more I didn't want to think about it I would think about it. Anyway I haven't really struggled with anything much like that since I was a child. I kind of just grew out of it. We were poor so we didn't go to the doctor much. Lately, I have been suffering from severe depression. I feel like I am trapped in a bubble and no one around me can reach me. Even if they are right in front of me they seem so far away. It comes and goes in wave. Sometime I am completely calm but I just feel really detached from the people I love. Other times I am a total anxious mess and I feel terrified. One of the things that is bothering me so much is that I keep having unwanted thoughts about my husband. The more I don't want to think about these things the more it happens. I love my husband so much and the most devastating thing for me is if we seperated or divorced. But I worry that my mind is not mine anymore and that one day I am going to wake up and leave because I can't take the stress anymore. It is causing me so much grief. I am not perfect and neither is my husband but there has always been so much love in our relationship. I know that I love him and that I am just having a hard time feeling it right now. We have been together almost 6 years and I am making myself sick thinking about all of this. I don't know how to make the thoughts stop. I just want my life back. I want my emotions back.

HappynessHappens00
HappynessHappens00
Hi and hello. Im so sorry you are dealing with all that. I too suffer from ocd so I completely understand. the thing you have to know is that ocd will twist things. it usually goes after the things and people that you love. since it is a defense mechanism, you have to address the real root of your stress. Your mind will make you think thoughts that bother you to take your mind off the real problem. Its tough I know but you will get through it. Have you talked to a therapist or councilor? I wish you the best my friend. Blessings to you :)
Stacysushi
Stacysushi
I just got out of a therapist office now. My first visit. She recommended CBT and a mild anti depressant. I know that I love my husband. I just can't feel anything right now. I cannot wait to be back to normal. I don't even want to do my favorite thing. Which is shopping. Thank you for your kind words and for taking the time to reply.
justbreathing39
justbreathing39
Hi I am 13 and I suffer from pretty much the same thing you do. It started a few years ago and I have been to two different psychologists. The first one gave me some reassurance and I got better for a while. Then one day I started having the same issues in my life. I suffer from depression and anxiety disorter, so it creates more thoughts and feelings that I can't escape. I have random thoughts pop into my head about harming myself or family members as well. Even though I overall trust myself and love my parents, it still scares the heck out of me. I know I'm young but I feel like I'm older in my mind. I went to a new doctor and he is giving me medication, like Welbutren. It helps... For the most part. But I still have these thoughts. I get what you're going through. It's so tough and it has been a part of me for so long that I don't even remember what it was like to be happy. I lack emotions at times when I used to be so lively. I don't know what is happening but all I can tell you is to stay strong and keep going. If you can talk to someone about this that is more open to the subject than your husband, it helps a lot. Reassurance is so helpful, I can't explain it. I hope this helps. :)