Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Support Group
Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is a psychiatric disorder, more specifically, an anxiety disorder. OCD is manifested in a variety of forms, but is most commonly characterized by a subject's obsessive (repetitive, distressing, intrusive) thoughts and related compulsions (tasks or rituals) which attempt to neutralize the obsessions.
Hello. I have struggled with having the compulsion to "confess" for years now. My OCD started with things like hand washing and counting steps, and now seems to be all about confessing.
One of my huge problems is in the past, me and my fiance used to drink socially, probably heavier than necessary (I think some self medicating on my end)...anyway, there are some nights that I ended up not remembering the end of the night.
I pull up these times and the thought that pops into my head is "what if you cheated/kissed somebody and don't remember it?" Then, I can't let these thoughts go. I feel like I need to prove to myself with analyzing everything why I didn't do anything, but at the same time, my brain comes up with a MILLION reasons why I COULD HAVE done something wrong. The only way i'm finding the ability to let the guilt from all of these thoughts go is to confess to him that I feel like I MAY have done something and gotten away with it, that way I know I'm being honest with any doubts that I can't get out of my head.
We're getting married in a few months, and I think that some of this confessing stuff is re-emerging because somewhere in my head I want to know that every chance I may have done something is wrong before he's married to me. I fight with myself because I try to resist the confessing, I worry that it is pushing us apart and making me look like an unfaithful person when I may not be (see, I can't bring myself to say i'm NOT guilty because of the what if's that come up).
Does anyone else deal with the guilt/confessing with their OCD? Does anyone have any advice for how to deal with it in a healthy way? It's really hard when i'm in the middle of it and can consume entire days at a time. :(
One of my huge problems is in the past, me and my fiance used to drink socially, probably heavier than necessary (I think some self medicating on my end)...anyway, there are some nights that I ended up not remembering the end of the night.
I pull up these times and the thought that pops into my head is "what if you cheated/kissed somebody and don't remember it?" Then, I can't let these thoughts go. I feel like I need to prove to myself with analyzing everything why I didn't do anything, but at the same time, my brain comes up with a MILLION reasons why I COULD HAVE done something wrong. The only way i'm finding the ability to let the guilt from all of these thoughts go is to confess to him that I feel like I MAY have done something and gotten away with it, that way I know I'm being honest with any doubts that I can't get out of my head.
We're getting married in a few months, and I think that some of this confessing stuff is re-emerging because somewhere in my head I want to know that every chance I may have done something is wrong before he's married to me. I fight with myself because I try to resist the confessing, I worry that it is pushing us apart and making me look like an unfaithful person when I may not be (see, I can't bring myself to say i'm NOT guilty because of the what if's that come up).
Does anyone else deal with the guilt/confessing with their OCD? Does anyone have any advice for how to deal with it in a healthy way? It's really hard when i'm in the middle of it and can consume entire days at a time. :(
I sometimes wonder if I have done terrible things and forgotten about them, too.
Have to heard of the book Brain Lock? I suggest you read it. Every time you give in to your confession urges, you just re enforce them and they become stronger. I know it's very difficult but it really is true that if you can resist your urges they start to wane.
Easier said than done, I know! Good luck to you.
I hope good ideas come to us!
Like you, I feel like I have to have a completely clean slate in order to have peace of mind. I don't want to feel like I did something wrong.
Sorry, but I am not sure how to deal with this.
I think the problem for us is that we have trouble excepting the grey areas in life. We want something to either be one way or the other because then we feel like we have more control. If we're not sure about something, it drives us crazy...as least that's how I feel.