Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Support Group
Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is a psychiatric disorder, more specifically, an anxiety disorder. OCD is manifested in a variety of forms, but is most commonly characterized by a subject's obsessive (repetitive, distressing, intrusive) thoughts and related compulsions (tasks or rituals) which attempt to neutralize the obsessions.
Hey there all,
I'm not sure if I'm even in the right place for this, but here goes. I've had mild OCD since I was little - mostly blasphemous and sexual intrusive thoughts that I would have to battle by repeating little mantras and prayers in my head. I've had worsening trichotillomania and dermatillomania since I was nine, as well, along with phobias and anxiety issues. For the past couple of years I've been battling depression and self harm. I don't even know what I'm diagnosed with right now (I've been through a loooot of diagnoses) because my psychiatrist has not deemed it necessary to tell me. It seems to be "tendencies" of like a bajillion different disorders, but not necessarily full-blown anything.
But I have some really embarrassing fixations and compulsions that I'm afraid to talk to my therapist about. They're not really intrusive thoughts, because I'm definitely the one that's thinking them - they're more like obsessions in the more colloquial sense of the word - just things that I seem to be fixated on right now - mostly sexual.
I'm not really sure what I'm looking for here, maybe just someone who I can tell my fixations to so that they can tell me whether I'm crazy or not, or to reassure me that I'm not a dirty and terrible person. I mean I might even be okay posting it as a response to this or something, if more than one person was willing to listen to me word-vomit my dirty secrets all over the place. Is there anyone else who has impulse control type compulsions and/or weird sexual fixations?
I'm not sure if I'm even in the right place for this, but here goes. I've had mild OCD since I was little - mostly blasphemous and sexual intrusive thoughts that I would have to battle by repeating little mantras and prayers in my head. I've had worsening trichotillomania and dermatillomania since I was nine, as well, along with phobias and anxiety issues. For the past couple of years I've been battling depression and self harm. I don't even know what I'm diagnosed with right now (I've been through a loooot of diagnoses) because my psychiatrist has not deemed it necessary to tell me. It seems to be "tendencies" of like a bajillion different disorders, but not necessarily full-blown anything.
But I have some really embarrassing fixations and compulsions that I'm afraid to talk to my therapist about. They're not really intrusive thoughts, because I'm definitely the one that's thinking them - they're more like obsessions in the more colloquial sense of the word - just things that I seem to be fixated on right now - mostly sexual.
I'm not really sure what I'm looking for here, maybe just someone who I can tell my fixations to so that they can tell me whether I'm crazy or not, or to reassure me that I'm not a dirty and terrible person. I mean I might even be okay posting it as a response to this or something, if more than one person was willing to listen to me word-vomit my dirty secrets all over the place. Is there anyone else who has impulse control type compulsions and/or weird sexual fixations?
I don't think you're a "dirty" person at all. I have had intrusive thoughts my whole life but mine involve tragedy and nightmarish things. Bad things happening to people. Watching the news is the worst thing I personally can do because it feeds the problem.
I don't really know what you're fixated on but I get obsessed about other types of things. When I have intrusive thoughts I usually try to change the horrific ending. Like we have stairs and whenever someone is one them i have these thoughts of them falling all the way down and breaking their neck, so I force the ending to change where the person floats safely to the bottom.
When I get fixated on something I can't seem to break the fixation until it plays itself out. Some of my compulsions are strong enough that I'll embarrass myself just to avoid the anxiety of NOT relieving the compulsion.
You may need to think about a new doctor. He doesn't seem to be helping you and if you can't tell him everything then you won't get help.
I really hope you feel better about yourself soon.