I too wash my hands often, sadly I started washing my hands with rubbing alcohol to make sure they are clean. I also have intrusive thoughts (bad thoughts) but mine are about my children and me being a pedophile, its sickening. Are you seeking therapy or meds?

Well I dont do the rubbing alcohol. I am mainly washing away thoughts and soap and water or just water does that. My hands have been red for so many years now! And coming up in winter I am sure my hands will become horribly chapped.

I am sure you are not a pedophile. I take it you fear you will become one. The very fact that you are frightened by that indicates to me that you are not one.

I was on Luvox for many years and that took the edge off the thoughts. Last year I decided to try for a med that might give me better results. It was very hard to get off the Luvox. Then I tried four other SSRIs and three made me sick or very edge and one did nothing. I am now trying to get back on a low dose of Luvox after getting horribly dizzy trying to get back on at half my old dose. I think I may have developed an SSRI sensitivity.

I see a counselor once a week.

Thank you for taking the time to reply to my questions.

Hi,
I have been in therapy for about 3 years for OCD and PTSD. My OCD and washing is in control now, though I have slip ups. But I too am a washer. At its worst, I was washing hundreds of times a day, and using several bottles of Purell a day. My obsessive thoughts are that, if I am not clean, I will get sick and die, and wont be able to take care of my family. For me the best thing has been exposure therapy, though it is hard as hell to go through. Now I cope by using my experiences with exposing myself to my fears, and trying to convince myself that the bad things I fear will happen haven't happened, despite the millions of times that I was sure they would.

I live this.

"Now I cope by using my experiences with exposing myself to my fears, and trying to convince myself that the bad things I fear will happen haven't happened, despite the millions of times that I was sure they would."

I have tried exposure therapy and have never been able to stick with it. I tried it years ago in my early 20s and again recently and I was just too anxious and had to stop doing that type of therapy.

okay, well exposure therapy isn't for everyone. But I am sorry that it work for you either time you tried it.

I have no idea what to try next. I am too frightened to do the exposure therapy. I live in a prison of my own making.

I understand what you mean. I'm terribly afraid of all... germs. I live in a house with a lot of people which means someone is usually always sick with something. It drives my anxiety wild to the point of exhaustion.

I am a compulsive washer. My greatest fear is of germs and sickness. I would scrub the skin of my hands because I let my OCD control my life. Please see your GP and get help. I wish I had sooner- 8 months of therapy has ended 17 years of COCD hell! If you want to message me feel free too. (Don't really want to put too much personal stuff on here :3)

Mirasak,

In the USA we do NOT go to GP's for psych disorders. They are NOT qualified, trained or board certified to help with OCD. Maybe in the UK but not here. As a matter of fact, in my decades of having OCD, I have learned that many psychologists are not qualified to treat OCD with ERP (exposure and response prevention, aka BT/CBT).

Btw, was your writing "COCD" a typo or something else? I have only heard of OCD and its many symptoms. In the DSM-IV (the standard in the USA for mental illlnesses), they only list OCD and NEVER put another letter in front of OCD as some on here do (ie "ROCD", HOCD", etc). It makes it very confusing.

Rivereoftears,

"Contamination fears" (some call them germ fears) may be the most common and most well known OCD symptom. You are not alone. That OCD symptom has been written about probably more than any other symptom with 'checking" being the 2nd most written about. If interested, you could find endless materials written on it here online or in OCD books and articles.

I am very sorry to hear that you cannot handle ERP (exposure and response prevention) as I believe it is the most effective therapy for OCD. However, I have known several others who also cannot handle the anxiety or severe anxiety that comes with it so I do not judge anyone that cannot handle it. Maybe a third try in a few years will do it for you.

Have you tried med combo's instead of just one med at a time? Many OCDers are helped by this strategy. I took Luvox and then paxil along with clonazepam for many years (yes, clonazepam is a benzo and potentially addictive and most times tough to come off of). Clonazepam was the only drug to help with my anxiety while Paxil might have helped a little with my depression. I have tried 12 psych meds. Some OCDers try 2 SSRIs at once. Some try an SSRI plus an anti-psychotic like zyprexa or riperdol (some, like me, even added a third med like clonazepam to those two types of meds). Some even try old tricyclic anti-depressants. Keep trying.

I was sure for so many years that I could not improve even 1% but I was wrong. I also lived in a time before the internet and where 99.9% of shrinks never heard of OCD. No OCD books or support groups. Suffered for many years thinking I was the only one. Took me 17 years to get a correct diagnosis (had never heard of OCD or read about it before 1991) and more years to get competent help. At least you have online support groups like this, tons of online info, OCD books by OCD experts, an OCD int'l foundation and many more and better meds than when I was younger. So, there is hope.

Keep trying and good luck.