Hey Miller i would like to first commend you on writing this post because i know it takes a lot to open up on a public forum. Whatever things you described were once a part of my daily routine. The thoughts are specially related to people that i cared the most about like my mom and my nieces and nephews. Trust me when i say this i have been dealing with OCD for more than 7 years now and not once have i ever given in to any of the unwanted thoughts that just pop into my brain.

Furthermore i read this very interesting post by one of the users here who mentioned what she read in a book which was, "A person with OCD would never give in to these thoughts and its just the fear of giving in that troubles us" I hope you find some solace with my post knowing that someone else has been through what you currently are experiencing should be a relief even if its a little one.

Dont let the fact that you can't get a 100% guarantee make you have an even harder time of letting go of this obsession. We don't have guarantees on anything in life yet you still engage in behaviors every day that could put you in danger. There is a difference between OCD thinking and regular thinking. OCD thinking isn't real.....its just fear. And deep down you KNOW the difference but when you have an exhausted brain its really hard to see through the fog and think clearly about things that frighten us.
If somebody walked up to you and called you a rapist and said he could tell by looking at you that you were a violent sexual offender just waiting to attack and that all the women in your neighborhood should be warned that you live nearby, what would your reaction be? Would you fall to the ground sobbing and saying "Its true, its true."
Or would you be mad and angry and say there is no way in hell you would ever be that kind of person and tell that person he is crazy and to stay away from you. Which of these scenarios is more likely do you think?
And yes you are right, reasoning doesn't work. OCD WANTS you to try to reason. That is what keeps it alive. OCD is all grey. Black and white is what kill it. No ifs, no buts, no maybe's. You have got to ask yourself what you believe to be true, and then go with the first answer that comes to your mind. Because that is the REAL you thinking. The OCD thinking is what comes after that because this is the "Doubting Disorder". So make up your mind what you believe and then just stick with it and do not allow yourself to dwell on it again.
The truth is that I don't think any of those things you think about yourself are true......but even if they are true..there is no point in worrying about them anyway because if that is the kind of person you are....it will reveal itself either way. Telling myself that used to help me a lot.

Face it, live through it, stand up(because you're OK and you're going to be you), it doesn't matter what you think, it matters who you are. Stand up and be stronger at the end...let this not brake you, but form you to be a better you....J

I went through the homosexual obsession, you probably remember me posting stuff. It went on for a year and left then it came back up again but not as bad. I still get moments of panic but THANKFULLY it hasn't gone back to a full blown obsession. For me what I try and do is remember those times after the obsession ended where I knew with 100% certainty that I was straight and LOVED men! A lot of this obsession stemmed from my relationship that I was in. It wasn't right and deep down I knew that but it was coming out as the homosexual obsession. It's not that I was gay, it's just the relationship I was in was not the one I was supposed to be be and I tried with all my might for it to work. This made the obsession stronger as I KNEW it wasn't right. My mind would always tell me it was because I was gay!

After breaking up with my ex, well the first week after I was back in the obsession as my brain was like, how could a relationship with a male fail if you are straight? So I panicked and panicked. THEN, I realized, WAIT, I cant be attracted too or be with EVERY male that comes around cuz then I would NEVER get anything done. So after I finally calmed down from that I knew for sure for sure lol that I was completely straight! I felt so great and amazing and I was able to laugh at myself for thinking and obsessing about something so crazy.

I have been on two dates since from guys I met online. Btw, totally learned online dating sites are not like what commercials make them seem like they are. Anyways, through the online dating it just continued to reinforce that fact that I was straight. Well I have gone through moments where I panic like OMG what if I am gay or OMG did I just feel something from that girl? BUT, I think back and I remember those moments when I felt and knew exactly who I was.

Now this may not really help you at all but I just wanted to let you know I went through that obsession and got out, even though I still have my moments it does not have control over me.

When ocd has ahold of us it's like we forget who we are. We try so hard to search and feel who we are but it's like the ocd completely erases us. That is exactly how I feel when it has me. I remember texting my psychologist and telling him that it felt like I didn't even know who I was. I felt like I had no control over me and that I was being taken over. I was feeling so panicked and thinking that my thoughts were making me someone that I didn't want to be. It really felt that way. It's like you completely lose yourself. It's crazy how much power ocd can have over you. But in the end you always come back to YOU, cuz YOU never change! Nothing can change you. Thoughts no matter how strong they feel are ONLY thoughts. They can do nothing more than make you scared.

Hey im not so much worried that I will give in to the unwanted thoughts, or that scared of them. Its the fact that anxiety effects your ability to enjoy sex, which is a big part of life. Your brain and your private area are linked up hence arousal and anxiety go hand in hand. Its just being able to not argue with the thoughts but not getting the anxiety if you don't use your compulsion. Its a difficult one. Any idea's?

I've wondered how big a role guilt is playing here. I think if we can eliminate guilt it can be much better. J

I've dealt with a few types of sexual obsessions. One that particularly bothers me the most and I've recently relapsed with.

But I can say that it DOES get better if you just keep trying. I've had some really good points where they don't effect me at all! Exposure definitely helps you to trust yourself more, but it's definitely hard.

It's hard to say much now that I've completely relapsed. But It gives me hope to know that at one point I was so well recovered.

I honestly just accepted it all, I said "So what if I am like this".
And most importantly, I stayed hopeful, because it doesn't all just get fixed over night, it takes time. Stay strong my friend!

Good advice man, about just excepting it all. The rape ones are kinda hard to do but im getting better at it. I can understand why the brain gets defensive over it eventhough its a load of rubbish. We all relapse mate its always up and down with mental health, you qill get back to a good episode.

I can so relate to this thread, i must say the sexual OCD thoughts are by far the scariest for me, not scary to the point I will actually carry them out but scary that I will blurt out to people that I want to or im thinking I am the person I think I am if that makes sense? I've not actually been diagnosed as OCD but I've been diagnosed with major depressive disorder and anxiety disorder, I also have a pituitary tumour which has my prolactin levels through the roof and testostorone levels low. Ive spent months in a psychiatric ward and I know I have said out loud all my thoughts I was thinking when at my most ill period which only makes my OCD anxiety worse. Im actually scared that I will be diagnosed with OCD as One of the ongoing thoughts. i have is that I will never be 'cured'. I must admit though working with my psychologist has given me hope and I am starting to enjoy some aspects of life again but being out in the 'real' world still scares me to death at times but with practicing mindfulness and trying my upmost to be 'in the moment' and see thoughts as thoughts and nothing more I have hope....some of the time.

Yea I know what you mean. Its as if we shouldn't be thinking about them kinda things, like its taboo. If someone found out we were thinking these things then we would be judged badly. Its clever how OCD works it all in but very distressing. Truth is everyone has thoughts like this, they just don't talk about it. This probably makes it worse for us. The real trick iv'e found to deal with them as just to say ok what if I do this then, then it will start all the guilt stuff like im a disgusting human being because im just accepting it and not arguing with it. Try to keep in mind that thinking about or having urges to do isn't doing. And as another person said trusting yourself round people. Your find the real world scary? anything I can try help you with? your from Scotland is that right? hence the Celtic username.

Yeah mate im from Scotland, what makes it especially difficult for me I recon is that because when my illness struck it felt to me like it was so quick I completely lost all reality in a very short space of time and I totally believed I was all sorts of horrible people and once I was hospitalised I know i said out aloud these thoughts to not only the nursing staff and doctors but to some of the fellow patients, what I didnt mention was the reason I was hospitalised was I tied a rope around my neck and tried to hang myself due to all these thoughts about myself being 'real' when now thankfully Im still here to realise that was not the case and in fact I was very ill. Thing is the gult I now feel for putting my wife, family etc through that trauma although they all forgive me is horrendous. Getting out in the 'real world' amongst friends etc again scares me as innevitable they ask how im doing etc and when put on the spot I can feel my whole body reacting, this is defo getting better somewhat but I need to rid myself of thinking theres a magic wand and one day ill wake up and everything will be fine and ill be the old confident, care free guy I once was.