It's the OCD. Seriously, it's like when I watch the whole drug smugglers that get arrested in Indonesia. I think I'm going to smuggle drugs or I'm like them even though I'm vehemently anti illegal substances and have never left the country. I'll be worried that someone's going to tamper with my bags and it has left me against travelling overseas. There's no way I'd be allowed to keep my luggage with me at all times to make sure no one tampers with it and that'd be the only way I'd get on the plane.

I can't get the thoughts out of my head and with murder trials, especially when the details get out I'll get these intrusive thoughts that make me think that I could be like these killers even though it's so disjointed from me, it's not funny.

Just remember those thoughts are the OCD and not who you are-, a loving mother who wouldn't let anything happen to her son.

Im still freaking out :(

the fact that you are freaking out shows you are not like her- ocd causes all sorts of crazy thoughts- they are just thoughts, not reality.

hi morning sadness,
it sounds like pure ocd to me....and it hits us hardest when we are more anxious or in a complete victim state.....

isay this cause i was terrified of everything for years, and it got worse after having my first pregnancy..hormones etc

i could not take any responsibility until i finally found the right medicine for anxiety etc....i was terrified of meds too but maybe your mom could help out with the little one whilst you a just to the medicine.....for me,its about getting a balance between the anxiety med and ocd/depression med