Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Support Group
Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is a psychiatric disorder, more specifically, an anxiety disorder. OCD is manifested in a variety of forms, but is most commonly characterized by a subject's obsessive (repetitive, distressing, intrusive) thoughts and related compulsions (tasks or rituals) which attempt to neutralize the obsessions.
I'm falling apart here. I feel balls out crazy, like I have lost my freaking mind! My obsessive thoughts are so bad right now, my hand washing or taking showers to cleanse myself of these thoughts, does not work! Literally everything I do, I have these terrible thoughts ALL DAY LONG! I mentally correct them, which I am aware that is making them worse, but that's all I do, spend my day saying, thinking, looking at good words and thoughts to make it so the bad thoughts have no room. I get this weird physical sensation, like a cloud of doom over me, it used to be only now and then, now it's constant every single day. I barely feel real.
I'm barely hanging on to everything that I have and I'm scared every second of every day. I have nobody to talk to and I feel like I'm screwing everything up and my son is here trying to depend on me. My husband is gone and I recently was told that he might not be back until next May!
I called to make myself an appointment to see a doctor, but the guy I was seeing is no longer in that office! I need help so badly, but I can barely get out of the freaking house! The thoughts are bad enough, but the weird body feelings I get that is what makes me feel the most crazy, does anybody know what that is? Is it part of OCD or is it anxiety?
I'm depressed too, my husband is in prison.He was supposed to see the parole board in November, now we heard it will be next May! We got married April 30th and he left May 1st. How do I get through everything, all our firsts without him?
I was on Zoloft, well the generic, but I went off it, because I couldn't get more and now the doctor isn't there so what do I do? I want to feel like a REAL person! For me, my husband, and my son who I feel I'm hurting and letting down constantly. I can hardly do anything, getting out of the house is such a struggle but even house stuff is a problem.
I need help.
I'm barely hanging on to everything that I have and I'm scared every second of every day. I have nobody to talk to and I feel like I'm screwing everything up and my son is here trying to depend on me. My husband is gone and I recently was told that he might not be back until next May!
I called to make myself an appointment to see a doctor, but the guy I was seeing is no longer in that office! I need help so badly, but I can barely get out of the freaking house! The thoughts are bad enough, but the weird body feelings I get that is what makes me feel the most crazy, does anybody know what that is? Is it part of OCD or is it anxiety?
I'm depressed too, my husband is in prison.He was supposed to see the parole board in November, now we heard it will be next May! We got married April 30th and he left May 1st. How do I get through everything, all our firsts without him?
I was on Zoloft, well the generic, but I went off it, because I couldn't get more and now the doctor isn't there so what do I do? I want to feel like a REAL person! For me, my husband, and my son who I feel I'm hurting and letting down constantly. I can hardly do anything, getting out of the house is such a struggle but even house stuff is a problem.
I need help.
First of all - is there another doctor you could see. It sounds like you really need to see someone face to face, and if you can, go back on meds if your not taking anything to help take the off the edge of it at least.
The feeling of not feeling real and the weird body sensations you spoke of, is something i can so relate too, and i have been through the consent horrid thoughts, where it seems to take over, i know how hard it is to break through that.
Please don't feel crazy about the feeling of the cloud of doom, I get that a lot when I'm feeling very stressed or anxious. I know now that this is a response to all the stress i put myself under with the thoughts and the worrying. Your body is bound to respond to that right!!! When i feel like this, i now tell myself that this is just how my mind/body is reacting. A little bit like a flight or fight situation. Not as easy as it sounds. had to say to myself a lot along with distractions - I feed the birds or play music, yoga but you do whatever may work for you. I'm not saying that i always use distraction techniques because its so hard to get motivated. I feed the birds because theres not much work involved, maybe your son could get involved in that. In a park or in the garden. It helps me so much but it depends what works for you. I just find this peaceful.
You said you cant get to see your doc. Could you go and see any doctor at your practice, at least someone to give you the meds you need and then maybe you could see a counselor through them? It does sound like you need some face to face support with the ocd
I know what your going through
Take care xxx
Amanda
It must be very hard your husband being in prison too. Do you get to speak to him at all? What does he think? Keep using this site, it will give you support when you feel alone and knowone understands.
Try your doctor again, keep pushing for more help. Have you heard of CBT? It is a therapy that can help OCD. I did it, and although it takes a long time ive def seen improvements. My OCD doesnt control my life anymore, i can go out, work etc but it took a lot of work.
Im not sure about the physical feeling, could be anxiety? good luck
Another huge help is working on relaxation. This helps calm the body and slows the mind. Diaphragm based deep breathing, progressive relaxation, and guided meditation all help.
Another thing that helped me get out of depression/anxiety was to take action. For me this meant finding a DR/therapist, then firing them(they didn't know really how to treat OCD) and finding another. It also meant getting out and exercising like my life depended on it(which it does when things get bad).
Another thing that helped me was to take Klonopin(a benzodiazapene) to calm down bad panic attacks. After I got a little better though, I wanted to feel the anxiety as this is the long term solution to getting better(and you don't want to develop dependence). But to stabilize during a critical point, I did take the Klonopin.
Don't feel guilty, I am positive you are doing your best to cope. What you need to do is raise your coping skills up a notch and bring your anxiety down a notch. When you feel better you can do some cognitive/behavioral work on the compulsions.
It sounds like you've had a lot of stress(I define stress as change of any sort). So a key is working on lower your stress level(through some of the methods I mention above).
I hope you feel better real soon.
Hang in there
I forgot to mention that I asked God for strength and wisdom, and to stay close to me. I just surrendered and put my life in his hands.
Yes, the feelings go hand-in-hand with OCD --it's the anxiety. Anxiety can give you lots of physical sensations.
One thing that is helping me right now is reading Dr. Jonathan Grayson's book "Freedom from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder". I cannot recommend this book enough. It is a recovery program and he talks about a lot of this stuff in there, so it would help you to know the truth about OCD and anxiety.
Send me a message me if you want to talk. :)