How about telling her to shut the f*#k up ?!

That sucks. I'm sorry. I'm gathering your Mom loves you (if she thinks she is trying to help you) but just doesn't have the skills set to express her concern about your weight. If flat out asking her to stop doesn't work and you want to maintain a relationship with her. I'd just say "it is what it is" it really is hard to teach an old dog new tricks... avoid her toxicity unless you absolutely must be around her and focus on you... making healthy food choices, finding an exercise you enjoy, etc. You can't control what other people do or say but you can control how you react to it.

No one can drive us crazy unless we give them the keys. Hide those keys ;)

Best wishes!
~Michelle "Shelly"

not sure how tech you and yr mum are, but a text or email is easier or an old fashioned letter that says something like:

Thnakyou for you love and support on my journey , but what i need is positive encouragement,e.g. not calling me fat

definitely tell her to stop but also what I learned there is always someone out there that wants to say it so I changed how I see the word and what it means so they can say it all they want it wont hurt me.

Be blunt. Tell her it's rude and unkind. Tell her that you appreciate she is trying to help, but her calling you names is not and never will be helpful or acceptable behaviour. Ask her to imagine how hurt she would be if you constantly called her something cruel. Tell her that if she can't help you without being mean that she should stop helping you.

But, stay calm as you tell her. xxx

I think you need to have a heart to heart talk with your mother and remind her that love isn't dependent on what size you are, and how much you weigh, at any given moment.

What we all need is to feel that we are loved and accepted just as we are. That, for me, is what can be an important starting point to successful weight loss. Who wants to deal with someone who feels that if you are overweight, you're NOT ok, but, once you've lost the weight, now you're ok. That's not fair and it's not what love is about.

If your mother isn't careful, once you HAVE lost the weight, her hurtful comments could come back to hurt HER. People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but, people will never forget how you made them feel.

I wish you well in helping your mother to understand what she is doing here. if you can't though, just try to use what your mom is doing to strengthen your resolve to lose weight. I know it's not easy, but, that doesn't make it impossible. Maybe you won't be able to really let your mom know how hurtful her comments to you were until you've lose the weight.

Wishing you success on your journey...
Janice

Too much of anything doesn't help. I remember my mom would tell me that I was not fat. I didn't believe her -- but it was nice to hear. I wonder if I would have decided to do something more about it before now if she had been honest.

Since your mother says it so much, it's hard for you to react to it in any meaningful way. I take it that she is not fat? If not -- you could tell her that she is looking really old and tired today.

I had some similar issues.

Basically, I asked, "Do you think I don't know I'm fat?" I have a mirror. I see what you do.

Tell her nicely that positive reinforcement works wonders. And that calling you fat is not helping with your weight loss efforts. I am here if you want to talk or vent!