Welcome back, Liliann!

What I know for sure is that, until you face your emotional eating, you will continue to struggle. It's not like your struggle will cease after you begin to face your feelings, but, without facing them, between you and your struggle, your struggle will win every single time.

I believe spoken words are very, very powerful. As such , we need to be very careful with the words we speak, particularly when our words are associated with what we feel about ourselves. So, when you say, "...I have no control...", every part of who you are then seeks to make that a true statement.

Until 12 weeks ago, NO ONE had a bigger sweets addiction than I did, particularly candy and ice cream. But, I reached a point where I was sick and tired of BEING sick and tired. I also finally "got it" that food was never going to be able to help me deal with, nor escape from, non-food issues. I finally understood that learning to face my feelings was the holy grail of turning my unhealthy relationship with food into a healthy one. Losing weight as a result is then a natural side effect. (I'm down 22 lbs during the first 11 weeks).

What I learned with facing emotional eating is that a good majority of people are not willing to face the intense pain that facing our feelings entails. Going into it, I knew facing my feelings would be intense, but, I was shocked at the intensity I actually experienced. Every 4-5 days, for the first 2-3 weeks of my journey, I would just have these emotional meltdowns. During these episodes, I wanted SO much to just do what I did best - escape into a huge bowl of ice cream, slathered with hot fudge and nuts, or whip up a killer batch of my pecan chocolate chip cookies. But, I knew if I wanted to end the craziness once and for all, I had to stop running. I had to face the hurts and the painful, unresolved experiences that I had shoved down with food for years and years. It was time to stop the madness once and for all.

It was difficult and it was painful, but, I learned that I was not only strong enough to face my feelings, I also learned that facing them was the first, very important step in learning to make peace with them, and then finally letting them go. Not only did each emotional meltdown session diminish in intensity, I also discovered that, because I was no longer using food to help me deal with them, I begin to look at food differently, in that my emotional connection to food began to change.

It's not like I don't still struggle with emotional eating, but, 12 weeks in, not only have I stopped having the emotional meltdowns, I've also stopped drooling when I think about food. And, I no longer eat for comfort, or to escape. Now, I eat to provide good nourishment for my body and to help me to lose weight.

Oddly enough, I enjoy eating now much more than I did when I was using food for comfort, because, even though it was comforting, I KNEW I was eating too much. I KNEW I was eating food that wasn't good for me. I KNEW my food choices were just making me continually gain weight. Even as I ate, I felt horrible about it, and so completely out of control Now, because I'm making food choices that are good for me, I can really enjoy eating.

As a spiritual person, I very much believe in prayer. But, I also believe that God helps those who help themselves. You can't just pray that God will help you stop making harmful food choices. God gives us the power to face the challenges we face in life, and He expects us to use that God-given power, rather than just pray that we won't eat the candy, but, not make a whole lot of effort not to eat it. Or, pray that those donuts will leave us alone, even as we reach for one.

I've been following your posts on this forum for a long time, Liliann. While I know you mean well, and I really believe you WANT to lose weight and get healthy, I think you need to be honest with yourself and stop trying and trying and trying, even as you're getting absolutely nowhere.

You have the control, you have the strength and you have the wisdom to successfully do this. And, believe me, to face your emotional eating, it takes using ALL of those tools and more.

Wishing you the best!
Janice

Thank you for the welcome back and most of all you powerful insight. I am glad your weight loss is going strong for you, Janice..and dealing the most painful emotions. Good for you on making peace with food and looking forward on hearing your ongoing efforts.

As I mentioned on my post..that am home daily and eating from boredum. I am last on taking care of myself..I take care of my sister, which she has MS and bedridden..and also my aging mother. I am the last to eat and do things for myself. I am not greedy..but a former email pal once said to be 1st on list on taking care of myself.Which that is tough when caring siblings in need. I love being a caregiver and one of the issues that somedays am bored and eat my sweets. I am not new to weight loss. In my 20-30s, was successful. I had dealt with deep depression and do want to lose weight within all my strength and all. In my household, am the only one that weighs over 400 Lbs.In my household is everyday holiday and its always a struggle.

I am grateful on reading your wonderful posts and insight.Looking forward to all our future success in the making.

Liliann

While I can understand how challenging it is to be in the caregiving situation you're in, Liliann, please try to remember that just because you're last on the list for taking care of yourself doesn't mean you're not on the list at all.

Eating as a result of boredom is a frequent reason people overeat. It's right up there at the top of the emotional eating list. That's one of the emotions you have to learn to face. When you feel bored, you need to learn to deal with the boredom instead of just automatically eating.

I've found that the easiest way to combat boredom is by finding something to do that you love to do. Since I was a little girl, I've always loved doing crafts. A few months ago, I discovered a new craft medium called "quilling", or paper filigree, when I read an article about a master quiller, Yulia Brodskaya, in Oprah's magazine. After looking at amazing examples of Yulia's work online, I decided to give quilling a try. Just like Yulia, I've fallen in love with it and am working on my second project, called "Fallen Leaves". One of the wonderful things about quilling (besides the fact, because quilling is such an intricate medium, I don't have time to focus on food as I'm doing it), your hands have to be perfectly clean as you work, to keep from soiling your quilling strips. (Soiled quilling strips will pretty much ruin your piece). So, eating while I'm quilling is out of the question.

So, my suggestion is - find something you love to do and engross yourself in it. Not only will you feel happier, you'll soon find that, as your focus shifts away from food, the food you formerly thought would "fix" everything will lose its' power. You'll begin to see food not only for what it IS (fuel for the body and the occasional "damn, that's good!), but, also, you'll begin to see food for what it isn't (able to help us in any way, shape or form with non-food issues).

I also would like you to eventually understand that the problem isn't that your mother buys sweets and brings them home. The problem is your emotional attraction to them because they're "comforting". But, are they REALLY? That's one of the things you should be asking yourself if you decide to do some soul-searching. (You won't regret it, Liliann - I guarantee you that.)

One of the reasons soul-searching is so important is because, through it, you begin to understand that every message we get about emotional eating is a lie. Every single one. I'm sure one of the reasons you eat emotionally, as we all have, is because it's "comforting". But, the next time you're considering losing yourself in a bag of candy though, ask yourself "...how comforting is it to weigh over 400 lbs?" Emotional eating is what has gotten you to this point. FACING your emotional eating is what is going to enable you to turn an unhealthy relationship with food into a healthy one.

I'm really rooting for you, Liliann. It just pains my heart to see your posts, month after month, where you try this thing and that thing, when what you need to do is search within. All the answers we need to take this journey successfully are in there.

Wishing you all the best! I KNOW you can do this!

Hugs,
Janice

Can't you tell your mom not to bring home any sweets?
When I lived at home with my mom and my little brother we always had sweets at home. Chocolate, crisps, anything that can ruin your body. It was really hard not to go to the kitchen and grab something. And my room was right next to the kitchen. Well, I couldn't control myself so many times I ended up in the kitchen with sweets in my hands. I wasn't even hungry. I couldn't tell my mom not to buy sweets because of my little brother who was and is perfectly slim.
But now that I live on my own I can control the whole situation. I never buy sweets when I go shopping. In fact yogurts are my sweets, they are the sweetest things in my household. And yeah, sometimes I feel I could die for a bar of chocolate but I don't have any at home and going to the shop just to buy chocolate.. no way. I have been living alone for 3 years and I eat much MUCH less sweets.
So? What do you think? Can you ask your mom not to bring home sweets?

I wish you all the best. Somehow I feel power in your words so I am sure you can do it.

I had talks with my mother on not buying sweets. She only gets them on sale.and hides them. She knows sugar is posion,she even watched Dr. Oz on one segment about it and does not listen. I shop in another store to get my fruits,veggies and deli meats and I had stop buying on myself.

In the past of my success, I always get online and type ,instead of eating sweets. I don't trust myself and now that I will make this site my way to cope on posting more and do my fitness regimen when that urge strikes...so am ready for the battle!!

Thank you both... Enjoy your day.

Liliann