Obesity Support Group
This community is dedicated to those of us struggling with obesity. Obesity is thought to be a significant risk factor in certain health conditions, leading to increased mortality. Find the support you need by sharing your story, asking questions, and learning from others on how they have coped.
I'm new to this so please forgive me if it's ...off. I am almost always socially inept. This also may end up being quite long.
My name is Ronnie. I've fought my weight almost my entire life. The only time I've really had any success was after a very difficult breakup 4 years ago.
The breakup devastated me and paralyzed me for months on end. Of course even then I was battling my weight. At some point, I decided it was time for a change and that I deserved better than what I was given and that my life was worth more than food. I started small, walking up and down the street, soon it was around the block, soon after that it was gym every other day walk every day, and eventually it was gym every day.
I was doing fantastic. I was losing 10 pounds a month, spending 2 hours a day at the gym and feeling incredible. Then..then I met my most recent ex and things fell apart. No, not right away. Actually having her motivated me even more because I wanted to look as nice as possible before I finally drove to Tennessee and met her.
Eventually that meeting happened and things went very well. I ended up moving there a few months later and starting fresh in extreme Eastern Tenneesse in the Apalacians (my spell checker is going insane but not correcting mistakes, those two words are probably horribly mangled).
Anyway, 3 and a half years passed. I had the best job of my life and I thought my relationship was solid. So solid in fact that I'd stopped the gym completely. I did still walk every day and I made a habit to take the bus to work. The area was actually quite safe, and beautiful.
As you can imagine from what I've said so far, she broke it off. It was quite sudden and unexpected and shocking to me. So shocking in fact that I decided to move back to Indianapolis temporarily so that I could be surrounded by family to try and cope with it.
That brings me to now, 5 months after the breakup and still battling with negative emotions. My weight sadly has taken a nose dive in those 5 months. I do have a gym membership that I've paid for and kept up to date for all 5 months but sadly I've only been there twice.
Tonight, I had a very bad night. Lots of negative emotions. She's been emailing and texting me trying to rebuild our friendship but I seriously doubt it's out of anything much more than guilt. I'm pretty sure it's not healthy to persue rebuilding any kind of friendship with her considering how deeply the breakup affected and is still effecting me.
I came to a conclusion tonight that once again it's time to get back on the horse and try and fix this. I've laid out a plan for myself and reinstalled a calorie counting app on my phone. I'm going to start going back to the gym on Monday (getting over being sick, don't want to infect others there) and I will be walking on my off gym days at first to let my body get back into the groove of things.
I have meal plans layed out and am working on my financial plans as well. Much of this revolves around me getting back into a car (currently rely on my room mate to take me everywhere because the area we are in is dangerous and I don't feel safe being out in public on my own much.)
Anyway, for those of you who scrolled to the bottom for a sort of TL:DR - I had some success, fell off the wagon chasing a girl, but have decided it's time to get back on again. I'd love to share my story here with you all and offer encouragement to you all in return as you share your own.
Looking forward to hearing from you all, Ronnie - currently approximately 450 lbs.
My name is Ronnie. I've fought my weight almost my entire life. The only time I've really had any success was after a very difficult breakup 4 years ago.
The breakup devastated me and paralyzed me for months on end. Of course even then I was battling my weight. At some point, I decided it was time for a change and that I deserved better than what I was given and that my life was worth more than food. I started small, walking up and down the street, soon it was around the block, soon after that it was gym every other day walk every day, and eventually it was gym every day.
I was doing fantastic. I was losing 10 pounds a month, spending 2 hours a day at the gym and feeling incredible. Then..then I met my most recent ex and things fell apart. No, not right away. Actually having her motivated me even more because I wanted to look as nice as possible before I finally drove to Tennessee and met her.
Eventually that meeting happened and things went very well. I ended up moving there a few months later and starting fresh in extreme Eastern Tenneesse in the Apalacians (my spell checker is going insane but not correcting mistakes, those two words are probably horribly mangled).
Anyway, 3 and a half years passed. I had the best job of my life and I thought my relationship was solid. So solid in fact that I'd stopped the gym completely. I did still walk every day and I made a habit to take the bus to work. The area was actually quite safe, and beautiful.
As you can imagine from what I've said so far, she broke it off. It was quite sudden and unexpected and shocking to me. So shocking in fact that I decided to move back to Indianapolis temporarily so that I could be surrounded by family to try and cope with it.
That brings me to now, 5 months after the breakup and still battling with negative emotions. My weight sadly has taken a nose dive in those 5 months. I do have a gym membership that I've paid for and kept up to date for all 5 months but sadly I've only been there twice.
Tonight, I had a very bad night. Lots of negative emotions. She's been emailing and texting me trying to rebuild our friendship but I seriously doubt it's out of anything much more than guilt. I'm pretty sure it's not healthy to persue rebuilding any kind of friendship with her considering how deeply the breakup affected and is still effecting me.
I came to a conclusion tonight that once again it's time to get back on the horse and try and fix this. I've laid out a plan for myself and reinstalled a calorie counting app on my phone. I'm going to start going back to the gym on Monday (getting over being sick, don't want to infect others there) and I will be walking on my off gym days at first to let my body get back into the groove of things.
I have meal plans layed out and am working on my financial plans as well. Much of this revolves around me getting back into a car (currently rely on my room mate to take me everywhere because the area we are in is dangerous and I don't feel safe being out in public on my own much.)
Anyway, for those of you who scrolled to the bottom for a sort of TL:DR - I had some success, fell off the wagon chasing a girl, but have decided it's time to get back on again. I'd love to share my story here with you all and offer encouragement to you all in return as you share your own.
Looking forward to hearing from you all, Ronnie - currently approximately 450 lbs.
Thank you for sharing your struggles....with any life and bumpy hurdles ,always get back on plan. I admired you doing that and it shows your determination to change for the better.
Good for you on hoping on that lifestyle change wagon.....never surrender...you will make it happen. You are a winner, winners never quit!!
Best wishes...looking forward on your progress. Be well.
Liliann :)
LiliannB - The big changes I have planned all go into effect Monday. Until then, I'm trying to get everything organized to make this as painless as possible once I start. This weekend I'll be portioning out my meal plans and snacks into baggies and I'm going to be re-arranging my room so that I can do some body weight exercises I can do in the mornings that my friend in the army taught me last night. I will definitely keep you guys informed of how it's going!
joannannotti - You made one of the most difficult decisions you can make in life - to walk away from a relationship that is poison to you. It's never easy, I mean you worry what it will do to the other person, how your and their friends and family will react, how you'll fair in life without that other person who has been in it constantly. Good for you and I hope your decision has helped in your weight loss journey. I'm probably in the grief stage still but one thing I learned last night is something called the mission mentality. It's breaking up large or large term goals and focusing on very small segments of that goal at a time instead of everything at once.
rose - You are correct, they can effect us subconsciously as well as consciously and most of the time there's really no way of telling where the behavior you are trying to correct is coming from. Just like you said, it's one day at a time and one goal at a time. Thank you for the motivation!
Actually getting yourself to the gym is hard at first. Trust me, I know.
Especially sticking to it.
Took me quite a few tries but now I'm at the gym 4-5 times a week and have made it part of my routine.
You got this! :)
I applaud you for taking control of your life in so many ways...your health, your finances, your emotions. You will be a better, stronger, happier man when you start and as you progress through this stage in your life.Keeping a journal can often be helpful in so many ways. I kept a journal when I was going through one of the toughest few years in my life...many years ago. Now, when I read that journal, I don't even recognize the sad broken girl I was. I can't believe those were my feelings and my words. It was like reading someone else's story. I learned to feel compassion for the girl in so much pain...and I made to the other side of light. Wishing you all the best throughout your process of "dealing and understanding". Looking forward to hearing how things are going for you.
Jo
Well, the fabled Monday has arrived and so far so good. I wanted to answer a few of you who have responded to be below.
Kathy - yes, I do have a plan and if I stick to it I will be where I want to be in about 2 years. To get there, I have to break many habits and I have to somehow claw my way out of the current feelings of hopelessness and inadequacy. I'm in that part of the grieving process where I can't focus and nothing I normally enjoy makes me happy or takes my mind off things.
Squirrely - it's good to hear of your success. Unfortunately the gym for me is going to have to wait 2 more weeks because I've been tasked with being on call at my job and on call with this job basically locks you in the house until it ends (there are constantly issues that must be addressed and solved and they expect them to be resolved within 30 minutes).
Jo - the journal is something I've considered and may begin today, because today is probably the best day to start it (today is the day I set to start changing everything and stick to my plans). I am familiar with the stages of grief and I also know that most people don't experience them in the same order. I seem to be stuck bouncing between anger and depression. Anger because of what I've lost in the breakup, depression because my mind won't stop picture her with someone else. Hopefully eventually I can move past those steps. I've already passed denial and bargaining as I have no interest in winning her back or trying to kid myself that there's still a chance and it's not over. I've also been toying with the idea of just breaking all contact with her and severing the friendship. We were best friends before the relationship but now I'm not sure I can trust her and I feel betrayed by what happened.
I will continue keeping you all up to date on how things go. After work, which is in a few hours, I'll be walking around the neighbor I've been scared to because of the crime. However I am armed with a ghost punch knife and military strength mace, although hopefully I will never have to use either.
TL:DR for those who don't want to read all this - hit and surpassed all goals set for the day.
Nutrition goal was met - 2,350 calories consumed with 660 remaining.
Workout goal was met - 30 minute walk, 30 minute body weight exercises (squats, twists, overhead clapping, etc), and went up and down my flight of stairs to the apartment three times.
Then I spent the rest of the evening with my cousins, aunt, and uncle. All in all not a bad day considering how much of an emotional roller coast I was on today (sometimes it gets to the point where the feelings are paralyzing and I cannot focus on anything except that).
Also called and made a doctors appointment for a physical on Thursday of next week where I am hoping the doctor can get me on something to help stabilize my emotions and my blood pressure. I've not really seen a doctor in over 4 years.