Just dealing with this everyday im not sure how my hubby and i will get through this. He says he is tired of dealing with it and he will no longer help me. Not that he ever really has. He says that I complain to much and reading about chronic pain and neuropathy is not going to help me. He wants me to get my nerves cut and he thinks it will be better. i read up on this some by a lot of the info i got from friends here in this group and it is usually a last resort and even then they do not know how long it will last. And Im scared like really really scared because even though my hubby is treating me like well lets face it crud he says he loves me and just wants to see me back to normal. Which my counselor says is just a cycle on the dryer. She told me not to do anything permanent or that serious just to save my marriage. My hubby did agree to go to counseling with me so we could openly talk without well i have a fear of confrontation so i wanted someone i trust there. He told me that when he told me I was a burden and acted like an invalid that he was just being honest with me and he was worried for me. Granted somedays I do not want to go to work Im scared to i do not want to get to work and have bad pain and not be able to do anything about it and i work with litle kids. I have scared and worried my neices before because it will shoot down my legs and in my back. I have a hard time sitting and standing. And honestly if there was a magic wand "cutting, freezing" whatever I would do it. i have gained so much weight from the lyrica and the nerve blocks. I am so swollen in my face right now that when i look in the mirror i no longer see me. People, family, friends they just stare at me. So i could understand if my hubby is no longer attracted to me but i mean come on grow up, for better or worse right? sickness and health? Granted Im no longer working two jobs and going to school full time. Im not going out to school i do it all online and i do not go to the gym as much anymore because it costs me so much pain. And I know my limitations and they tell me you need to overcome this and push yourself. I can see pushing myself but i know when i need to stop. Im sorry Im mad and upset about this whole thing. I can be so proud of myself for making it once around the mall and cleaning three rooms but it is never good enough. My hubby just says he wants the old me back and I can understand that I feel trapped in this body too. I have been so depressed lately because I cannot do the things that i once did. or go out all the time or my meds may make me feel ill. Which a lot of people close to me say is an excuse. I dont know maybe im not seeing it my counselor says she wonders if i like the attention that i get from this because i talk about my illness and my meds all the time. But i talk to her about it because it constantly seems no one here at home or my family cares. My dad keeps telling me im addicted to my meds and if I would stop taking them the pain all of it would go away. Im not sure I will try to write out more later I need to get this all off my chest I need someone to talk too. I love and thank everyone here for just listening everything is a whirlwind and crazy right now and im so happy there are some wonderful people here. HUgs