Hamby, my name is Melanie and I do not have NF, but my fianc does have NF1. We are getting married oct 9th this year. I had no idea what nf was befor met him and he told me about his case... He had a learning disability growing up and still prosesses things slow, he walked and talked late, has minor scoliosis, he has fibromas all over mostly his torso, and cafe marks all over too. he get really bad painful leg cramps twice a month. With knowing him and his case and researching how sever nf can be completlY scared me that our children could have nf too. But this is the way I look at it... I have fell in love with a man that has nf1 and when I look at him I think he is beautiful inside and OUT! I rub his back with his shirt off and don't even care about what I feel because what I feel is the mans body that I love. He is the sweetest compationate man I have met. So I am willing to take the risk 50% chance that our child could have nf1 also. Any woman that decides to become pregnant takes risk too with all the possible health issues Nd disorders Nd complications that could happen... 70% of nf cases are mild and whatever God gives us is what He wanted us to have! No matter what! God has a reason for everything, and a purpose for everything... I have prayed about this and God has gave me peace and understanding that we are all his children. There will never be such thing as perfect or a desiease free world. I love my fianc and all that comes with him. By some people deciding not to have children made me second guess but I am different and my heart tells me Gods will not mine. By the way... Ever since I grauated high school I have worked with all kinds of children, I worked in a specail needs daycare for 7 years, and let me tell u no matter the specail need a child had I cared and loved them no different than the "normal" child...

If you have to say"Im not asking this question to be rude, mean, or to persecute the people who have" you shouldn't say it! just beacause you do, it doesn't mean its not going to hurt alot of people. how would u feel if someone told you that u dirty the gene pool?

and one more thing, its people like you that make people with NF or whatever feel bad about themselves not the other way around. not once growing up did i ever he my mom say " sorry baby girl, i was selfish for having you and cursing you with this" even at 18 having emergency back sugery so i could walk again. Because of her,im alive in the world, enjoying my life.

that is a VERY personal decision both husband and wife have to make. it is not an easy decision either. however there are advancements in the medical field every day which can make it possible for a person with NF and a some one with out to have a "Normal" healthy baby with out NF. I am begining the process of speaking to my doctors and reviewing the options so i can have children as i deserve to and will not let NF get in the way of anything i do in life. I NEVER used it as an excuse to do anything and i will NOT let it get in the way of being a mother. Your own personal feelings are valid but to question others on their decision of a VERY sensative topic is not cool.

I understand hamby's point. He isn't trying 2 make anyone with NF feel hurt or worthless. I feel the point he is trying 2 make is, if you know there is a high possibility you will produce an offspring that will suffer throughut their life you should consider this before reproducing. Ask yourself this question, "If I know I would suffer my entire life, would I want to be brought into this world?"

On the other hand 'hamby', people are still reproducing because there is always hope for the BETTER. My sister has lupus & the doctor told her she should not have children. She now has a healthy baby boy. HOPE is the key to happiness.

I am just stunned by this...
The first time I met my sister in law she discussed natural selection and had similar views as yourself, however no doubt she considers herself absolutley perfect yet said a number of awful things in regards to Down syndrome (to this day i still dont quite believe).
I have a beautiful baby boy and had never heard of NF until she had her baby girl and discovered her having an abnormality.

I feel for the baby, to have the judgement an attitude of an ideal perfection...

When i was pregnant i considered every possible scenario of the birth and prepared myself for everything, ignoring scans etc and taking it for the real thing. I have to say i thought to myself, NO MATTER WHAT, i will love this baby, and all babies! Made from scratch, humans in their purest forms - uncorruted, just beautiful little people.

Since my Sister 'n'laws experience and her uncontrollable crying (which i dont quite understand! As she is still the most perfect little girl to me, and i want to pick her up and cuddle her) I have discovered my partner has NF also (in a mild form).

It is not until you hold your child that you understand life, the value of life, the beauty of life.

I have not reconsidered having 4 children, despite whatever challenges may arise, thats a risk you take when having children, no matter what your child becomes number one, its no longer about "ME" its them...

So, as for the dirty gene pool, horribly shocked. Thats such a revolting way of putting anything. You remind me of my sister inlaw and i hope your attitude soon changes, dont try to fix things that arent broken! Where there is health there is also sickness.

Your attitude is similar to that of Hitler.

Womens body's were made for carrying babies, and NO woman should be deprived of such a beautiful thing.

Define "Perfect" in my life i have never seen or met perfect.

Hamby, I do understand your point. It is legitimate. MelanieBlack, I was told by a geneticist in genetic counselling with my first husband that our children had a 50/50 chance of NF and that all that may come of it would be a few small tumors post puberty and some freckling. Nothing to be concerned about. (Ex had NF and LOOKED normal). Now I have 2 children with NF. Both are in the Autistic Spectrum, have developmental, learning, and social delays. My son has plexiform tumors that start mid spine and go through his entire right side. He has bone deformities from the tumor and has had to have multiple orthopedic surgeries. He has been through 3 differents chemos, 3 attempted resections, and is in constant, daily pain. It is not a matter of devaluing my son's life or my daughter's life. They are beautiful people, problems and all. That said, I would not advise ANYONE with NF to have biological children if it can be avoided. NF can be an excrutiating illness if it becomes one of the complicated cases. It can cause premature death, even when plexiforms are not malignant because the tumors are so aggressive and debilitating. NF can cause a whole list of psychiatric problems, learning problems, physical problems, and social problems. There is no worse feeling for a parent than to have a child in constant pain and you can't make it better. There is never a good way to explain a cruel world to a child that wants to know why they are different and "why do people hate me?" It is painful to watch a child that wants desperately to participate in all of the things the other kids do, but they can't. It is also painful to watch them try to understand something that is beyond their grasp of understanding, so they are unable to process what is happening around them. It is one thing to be in a situation where you didn't know about NF or you were improperly counselled. It is another thing entirely to be fully informed and choose to have a child anyhow. If you purposefully create a child that may live his/her life in suffering you are a selfish human being indeed.

Maybe people like me feel like its no big deal, for me its not, so many have told me by 26 if nothing has happened nothing will because it isnt "all of a sudden" actually the person who told me that was being mean, i think she was upset her NF is bad and I was just asking her about it to see what she thinks will happen with my kids. My mom developed cancer and died shortly after due to NF and she insisted this was not possible and called me out. I assure it is true. I know pregnancy can cause tumors to grow. So maybe it was 3 pregnancies that caused it. She caught a flu that didnt get better and after 6 weeks my dad took her in. less than a year later she died,

My husband and I are currently trying for a baby. hopefully my babies wont be worse off than I am,

also my dads now ex wife (my ex step mom) tried to force me to tie my tubes at 17. The Drs refused. She felt some one as stupid and ugly as me was better suited in a home for the mentally challenged than to be a mother. I am happy the Dr refused, that is not a decision to be forced in you, Not by anyone. I read a post above where the Dr. Suggested to a mother she should sterilize her daughter. Imagine growing up to find out your are sterile and that your parent did it to you!

Wow Hamby03, brave post. I agree with you 100%. YOU shouldn't dirty the gene pool with your oddball, borderline racist thoughts.

- Rich, (Kristi's Husband, who doesn't have NF).

also have you considered that live is not a living hell? My mother had NF I have NF and my little sister has NF. except the cancer is can cause, I have no worried and no health issues. Maybe its people like me who dont know first hand about all the other stuff that makes life a living hell. also I am sorry you feel that way, it is unfortunate but luckily not everyone with NF feels the same way