Narcissist Trauma Survival and Recovery Community Group
Support for those anyone who is or has been in a relationship with a narcissist. Together we are much stronger than any of us would be alone. A place for non-judgemental mutial support, advice, and comfort.
I was reading an article about a woman who killed herself mid-way through a divorce. It's sort of difficult to figure out what the real story was, but the woman was said to be an alcoholic, have borderline personality disorder and was supposedly abusive toward children and husband (who was having an affair, which he said "she drove him to").
Then I was reading the comments and the derogatory comments focusing around the wife and her alleged diagnoses, mental stability and so on.
From my own experience (and I have no idea what ex might have said to people in past we both know), ex NH has called me homicidal and suicidal and had me locked up til drs. released me, called me paranoid schizophrenic and bipolar (at least to our daughters) and I have NO idea what he has said, but I heard him tell the dispatcher on the phone that I was "psycho" while I was merely receiving counseling. And of course, I was abusive after our first divorce, and after our second (and who takes back an abusive spouse they've fought, in Court, multiple times, supposedly to keep their children safe?
So I was wondering if any of you have gone through the whole thing of lies sort of becoming believed and what you think of people so ignorant (not a slam, just a fact) that they so easily accept this sort of stuff as gospel and not realizing how someone can actually be driven to depression, breakdown and etc. Even mental health professionals don't seem to consider a spouse and abuse as possible factors in symptom formation; seeing how some spouses, especially when abuse isn't physical, don't even recognize for a time that they are being abused, that's actually pretty scary ... or it should be ... knowing what I have been through.
Then I was reading the comments and the derogatory comments focusing around the wife and her alleged diagnoses, mental stability and so on.
From my own experience (and I have no idea what ex might have said to people in past we both know), ex NH has called me homicidal and suicidal and had me locked up til drs. released me, called me paranoid schizophrenic and bipolar (at least to our daughters) and I have NO idea what he has said, but I heard him tell the dispatcher on the phone that I was "psycho" while I was merely receiving counseling. And of course, I was abusive after our first divorce, and after our second (and who takes back an abusive spouse they've fought, in Court, multiple times, supposedly to keep their children safe?
So I was wondering if any of you have gone through the whole thing of lies sort of becoming believed and what you think of people so ignorant (not a slam, just a fact) that they so easily accept this sort of stuff as gospel and not realizing how someone can actually be driven to depression, breakdown and etc. Even mental health professionals don't seem to consider a spouse and abuse as possible factors in symptom formation; seeing how some spouses, especially when abuse isn't physical, don't even recognize for a time that they are being abused, that's actually pretty scary ... or it should be ... knowing what I have been through.
The things still there, like the picture hanging over the large flat screen in the family room at Ns Moms house, with the Ns wife still in the pic. She refuses to take it down, even though she violently HATES the ex of the N (because she threw away her precious wonderful can do no wrong son) but she still lets it hang for all to see, not caring about anyone else, cause "it took me FOREVER to get the entire fam together for that pic, I will NOT take it down, just dont look", as she flicks on the light above the damn picture@!!
Damn family, I wish to God I never landed here. It seems to get worse in the winter, and now that I am out of work, by choice because the stress between work and this hell of a so called life was overwhelming. I do not regret quitting that crap job, I do regret still being here.
N didnt want to talk at all tonight, said I talk 24/7. Really, talking to the N is like talking to a blanking wall, unless of course you are talking football, fishing, or listening to his Bible verses he so perfectly memorized but doesnt really understand and sure doesnt practice.
Sorry caused me to vent. This has not been a good week.
And then that mentally ill fired cop in CA just has so many similarities like my N retired cop. I dont believe this N would ever kill but he goes back to drinking (he finds out if the judge drops the charges for THE THIRD TIME and CLEANS his record, because they do TAKE CARE OF THEIR OWN), and next week he finds out if license is re instated. I guess I am already scared for what that not deserved freedom could cost me and the actual general public.
Damn, I have started looking in the city for work, as there is none to be had here in nowhere land. I have to move forward and can always finish my last couple classes towards degree around my grown sons, and fam and friends back in the city, this is just CRAZY.
I am enabling him by staying. I am allowing the abuse, albeit verbal. I would PREFER being hit as has often been pointed out, at least then people get it. This is so behind closed doors and mind altering, it is in my world and small opinion WORSE.
Cant sleep. I am becoming more vulnerable again and I can only figure because of job change.
Bras on a drying rack.
My N still drags out his accomodations letters from his police career almost weekly, and rereads and stares at them, organizes them, and then neatly puts them back in his briefcase. He has also taken them to churches we go to or to meetings where I attempted to appear normal with him, but it is never possible.
Even when I got my car fixed recently he went along like a kid, he was of zero help, and he had to preach to the car shop owner about God. Funny, the owner was actually a youth pastor as well as auto guy, but N didnt know that. I just let him go and so did the mechanic/owner. It was sadistically a riot to watch him get shot down.
Ns is spouting out scriptures and "where are going when you die?" All the while the man is calmly listening, and looking at me, I believe thinking WHY ARE WITH THIS NUT????
I personally need to take more responsibility for this situation and get more into my plan of action........Hugs to you Livelifenow2....love the name by the way!!!
Sending you hugs back my friend...Sunny