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Narcissistic Men Typically Direct Their Rage at St
dadda11o
Maybe it's part of the reason people don't "believe" ... they never see it, because it isn't there unless we are, usually. I ran across the study, but not the full text. And yes, it is using college age as sample, has limited generalizability, but nonetheless ... considering my actual finances and (the amount of times) being called a gold digger and the like, holds some water for me. Although this does not address women narcissists, it would be interesting to know how they likely view their mates. Like an autocratic parent of old, my ex thought he had the "right" to punish me; that alone would have turned me off the idea of a relationship with him, had I known it early on.
"They have a problem with heterosexual women, because those are the people who might see through them, reject them and not give them the attention and adulation they feel they deserve."
http://galenet.galegroup.com/servlet/HWRC/hits?docNum=A233777735&index3=&index2=&index1=RN&tcit=0_0_0_0_0_1&locID=inspire&rlt=6&text3=&text2=&text1=A233777735&t=KW&s=11&r=d&secondary=false&o=DateDescend&n=10&l=d&c=1&bucket=healthnews
Narcissistic Men Typically Direct Their Rage at Straight Women; Self-centered, entitled men see women as gold diggers, teases, experts claim.
Consumer Health News (English). August 6, 2010 pNA.
Full Text:COPYRIGHT 2010 HealthDay
Byline: Jenifer Goodwin, HealthDay Reporter
FRIDAY, Aug. 6 (HealthDay News) -- Ever met a guy who talks only about himself, thinks he's superior to everyone and who tends to view women as little more than playthings? That man may very well have narcissistic personality disorder, a condition marked by an inflated sense of self-importance and a profound lack of empathy for others. And new research suggests the anger, hostility and short fuse that accompany a man's narcissism tend to be directed toward straight women.
"Heterosexual, narcissistic men become enraged at people who deny them gratification, whether it's social status, having a trophy partner or sexual gratification," said lead study author Scott Keiller, a clinical psychologist and assistant professor of psychology at Kent State University Tuscarawas in Ohio."The group that could gratify heterosexual men the most is heterosexual women," Keiller said. "To the extent narcissistic men would get resistance, that would make them enraged."
For the study, published online July 23 in the journal Sex Roles, Keiller and his colleagues gave 104 male undergraduates questionnaires designed to measure narcissism. Questions included: "I love to be the center of attention" or "It embarrasses me when I am the center of attention." The former is associated with narcissism, the latter with modesty and humility.
They were also asked about their attitudes toward gay men, lesbians, straight women and other straight men, including how much they ascribed to traditional -- some would say sexist -- male and female stereotypes. None of the men questioned had diagnosable narcissistic personality disorder, said Keiller. (The disorder is diagnosed when one meets five symptoms on a list that includes grandiosity, a strong sense of entitlement, and an overwhelming need for admiration, according to the American Psychiatric Association.) But narcissism is a continuum, and plenty of the young men had a pronounced tendency toward those traits, he said.
Men who scored the highest on the narcissism test were more likely to view women as conniving gold diggers, as teases who tempt men with sex and don't deliver, or as seductresses with plans to trick men and "get them under their thumb," Keiller said. "Narcissistic men hold overtly hostile, adversarial ideas about women," Keiller said. While narcissistic men also showed rancor toward gay men, their hostility toward them was no worse than that of other straight men. About the only group that escaped narcissistic men's anger were lesbians, possibly because straight men tend to eroticize them, Keiller said.
Jean Twenge, a professor of psychology at San Diego State University and author of "The Narcissism Epidemic: Living in the Age of Entitlement," said the study fits with other research on narcissists.
"Narcissists don't have a problem with everyone, or with people that are different. They have a problem with people who may reject them," Twenge said. "They have a problem with heterosexual women, because those are the people who might see through them, reject them and not give them the attention and adulation they feel they deserve." The findings suggest they view their relationships with women as patriarchal rather than egalitarian, the authors said.
Men tend to have more narcissistic traits than women, possibly because girls, more than boys, are taught to be nurturing, selfless and to put others first, according to background information in the article. Likewise, men are more frequently diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder than women. Research suggests narcissistic men are also more likely to commit domestic violence because of their egocentrism and lack of empathy, although many men who commit violence are not narcissists, Keiller said.
Over time, narcissistic men do tend to get their comeuppance. Eventually, their anger and aggression turns off loved ones and employers, experts say.
"They can be charming, self-promoting and even in the face of evidence they are not great, they still think they're great," Twenge said. "But as they age, they are also more likely to fail at school, work and relationships. It's tough to be a middle-aged narcissist."
Just ask actor Mel Gibson, who's made headlines recently with aggressive verbal outbursts directed at women. According to Keiller, it's impossible to know if he's a narcissist without a full exam, but his sexist comments toward a female police officer and his latest reported tirades toward ex-partner Oksana Grigorieva would seem to indicate he fits the bill.
More information
The Cleveland Clinic has more on narcissistic personality disorder.
Record Number: A233777735
"They have a problem with heterosexual women, because those are the people who might see through them, reject them and not give them the attention and adulation they feel they deserve."
http://galenet.galegroup.com/servlet/HWRC/hits?docNum=A233777735&index3=&index2=&index1=RN&tcit=0_0_0_0_0_1&locID=inspire&rlt=6&text3=&text2=&text1=A233777735&t=KW&s=11&r=d&secondary=false&o=DateDescend&n=10&l=d&c=1&bucket=healthnews
Narcissistic Men Typically Direct Their Rage at Straight Women; Self-centered, entitled men see women as gold diggers, teases, experts claim.
Consumer Health News (English). August 6, 2010 pNA.
Full Text:COPYRIGHT 2010 HealthDay
Byline: Jenifer Goodwin, HealthDay Reporter
FRIDAY, Aug. 6 (HealthDay News) -- Ever met a guy who talks only about himself, thinks he's superior to everyone and who tends to view women as little more than playthings? That man may very well have narcissistic personality disorder, a condition marked by an inflated sense of self-importance and a profound lack of empathy for others. And new research suggests the anger, hostility and short fuse that accompany a man's narcissism tend to be directed toward straight women.
"Heterosexual, narcissistic men become enraged at people who deny them gratification, whether it's social status, having a trophy partner or sexual gratification," said lead study author Scott Keiller, a clinical psychologist and assistant professor of psychology at Kent State University Tuscarawas in Ohio."The group that could gratify heterosexual men the most is heterosexual women," Keiller said. "To the extent narcissistic men would get resistance, that would make them enraged."
For the study, published online July 23 in the journal Sex Roles, Keiller and his colleagues gave 104 male undergraduates questionnaires designed to measure narcissism. Questions included: "I love to be the center of attention" or "It embarrasses me when I am the center of attention." The former is associated with narcissism, the latter with modesty and humility.
They were also asked about their attitudes toward gay men, lesbians, straight women and other straight men, including how much they ascribed to traditional -- some would say sexist -- male and female stereotypes. None of the men questioned had diagnosable narcissistic personality disorder, said Keiller. (The disorder is diagnosed when one meets five symptoms on a list that includes grandiosity, a strong sense of entitlement, and an overwhelming need for admiration, according to the American Psychiatric Association.) But narcissism is a continuum, and plenty of the young men had a pronounced tendency toward those traits, he said.
Men who scored the highest on the narcissism test were more likely to view women as conniving gold diggers, as teases who tempt men with sex and don't deliver, or as seductresses with plans to trick men and "get them under their thumb," Keiller said. "Narcissistic men hold overtly hostile, adversarial ideas about women," Keiller said. While narcissistic men also showed rancor toward gay men, their hostility toward them was no worse than that of other straight men. About the only group that escaped narcissistic men's anger were lesbians, possibly because straight men tend to eroticize them, Keiller said.
Jean Twenge, a professor of psychology at San Diego State University and author of "The Narcissism Epidemic: Living in the Age of Entitlement," said the study fits with other research on narcissists.
"Narcissists don't have a problem with everyone, or with people that are different. They have a problem with people who may reject them," Twenge said. "They have a problem with heterosexual women, because those are the people who might see through them, reject them and not give them the attention and adulation they feel they deserve." The findings suggest they view their relationships with women as patriarchal rather than egalitarian, the authors said.
Men tend to have more narcissistic traits than women, possibly because girls, more than boys, are taught to be nurturing, selfless and to put others first, according to background information in the article. Likewise, men are more frequently diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder than women. Research suggests narcissistic men are also more likely to commit domestic violence because of their egocentrism and lack of empathy, although many men who commit violence are not narcissists, Keiller said.
Over time, narcissistic men do tend to get their comeuppance. Eventually, their anger and aggression turns off loved ones and employers, experts say.
"They can be charming, self-promoting and even in the face of evidence they are not great, they still think they're great," Twenge said. "But as they age, they are also more likely to fail at school, work and relationships. It's tough to be a middle-aged narcissist."
Just ask actor Mel Gibson, who's made headlines recently with aggressive verbal outbursts directed at women. According to Keiller, it's impossible to know if he's a narcissist without a full exam, but his sexist comments toward a female police officer and his latest reported tirades toward ex-partner Oksana Grigorieva would seem to indicate he fits the bill.
More information
The Cleveland Clinic has more on narcissistic personality disorder.
Record Number: A233777735
Today mine talked of "did I like the color green?" He threw a 100 dollar bill at me and wanted sex. This the man that says he wants to marry me, almost every day, while he spits vicious, evil mentally warped insults and projections and gaslighting like no tomorrow. It has been quiet around here past few months, knew it wouldnt last.
Sure it is cause I am starting a new "shit job" as I call it, but he does not want to have ANYTHING as you are well experiencing. He who, when we went to separate beds a couple years ago and how God would not "accept or honor" our having sex outside of marriage, but yet he often wants me to "prostitute" myself for sex. What a complete ass. I was livid. And no, I refused. And threw his money in his face.
Then I went and cried my eyes out. "problem with people who will reject them". The N also said today prior to the sex thing, "I am so afraid, I just know, I am going to lose you and I dont want anyone else to have you." But as your link also mentions, I really am just a "thing, a sex thing" he doesnt even know how to LOVE as "normal" whatever that is, people do. Damn what a blanking mess, I am sinking again.
I want to run away and never look back. Hugs Dadda.
Trish, I am sure he would be happy if you let him off the hook because of course he isn't going to take responsibility for any real decision. I hope your nightmare ends this year!!!
mine told me when he left that he woud rather have me and the kids living off the 'system' than to ever give me a penny of his money.
Funny thing is that I am in school and working.. yes, living off the system. but only temporary.
He is not working that I know of, and is threatening the kids activites to have me settle on a divorce that I have been asking for for over a year.
Trisha, my NH asked me why I didnt just pay him off with our home equity loan. It is in both of our names, and we both have access to the money, instead of getting loan from his family.
From reading all of your posts I have learned, and I am sorry you are going through it, but it has made me aware of long term control over things.. I told him that after we close on the house there would be no home equity, as I would not settle until his name was completely off the deed. When this is over he will have NO control over me.. My goal is by this summer being financially separate, if not legally divorced.
He can try and screw with the kids, but they are aware of my financial situation and that I sacrifice so they are not affected. They also know that daddy chooses travel with GF over them (not by me, just common sense) to tell them that daddy cannot pay his part of their care they know is a selfish lie on his part. If mommy can do it working and going to school and keeping up alone with house payments, daddy just is selfish..
My sons divorced their dad because of his doings, not mine.
See, the NH and I are not legally separated, he never agreed to any legal separation. I have the e-mail trail of him and his threats as I tried for the past year to get this taken care of.
Anyway, he and I own a house together and he and his GF are in process of buying a house together... does this mean in this state that I own a quarter of their house?? As my name will not be on the mortgage, but I am entitles to half of his income as with no legal separation it is all still 'common money' which I can say I did not give permission for him to spend and I want my part back!
Anyway, I really don't wnat 1/4 of the house, but if it gets him to squirm a bit.. make him think of what an ars he has been. I wish I had the money to fight him on it. I do wnat a check for half of the taxes I have paid over the last year, repairs on the house and such that if we were renting he would be liable for.
But, I would love to see the look on his GF and his face if a lawyer walked in and said they could not close on the house because his wife did not approve of the purchase and use of family money...