Narcissist Trauma Survival and Recovery Community Group
Support for those anyone who is or has been in a relationship with a narcissist. Together we are much stronger than any of us would be alone. A place for non-judgemental mutial support, advice, and comfort.
I got a letter today from my (now) ex-attorney. N wants credit for future mortgage payments as long as I am here (and I don't even WANT to be here!) plus he plans to cut off utilities, saying I need to put them in his name.
I settled down, realizing demands aren't necessarily what a judge will order. I have the two recordings where he details how he is going to bankrupt me through the divorce. I also had sent a recording of him from a police report I made (statute of limitations up today, though, on charging ... and I went round and round trying to find out how to get police to forward it. That is where he screams and yells that I am "destroying people's lives" and he won't stop until I don't "have the right to walk the dirt."
I am SO sick and tired of his petty ****. He is the one who wanted a divorce; crying over having to pay for breaking his contract. SO trying to use terror and other tactics to squirm out of it, plus determined to break me in the process.
Maybe I will just send the letter TO the Court. Sort of glad I filed that motion alleging the fraud, etc I found before I received this letter. I told attorney he is punishing me ... how brilliant I am? She didn't sign off the case OR contact me, so I sent her an email and again, asserted that I wish she would have followed through with deposing him, letting me know what constitutes dissipation and what likely evidence to look for/report. I also stated again that I thought, since she pressed for final hearing that I thought she had the evidence to support her theory, but how I wished she wouldn't have done this right before the holidays and waiting til end of year would have had possible tax (refund) advantages, since he refuses to pay on judgment. I doubt I will hear from her, other than bills for outstanding balance.
Also found an excellent quote: "the object of all legal investigation is the discovery of the truth" 551 F.2d 683 Poole vs Georgia (1977)
I almost got stuck tonight because of snow and almost went off road (at slow speeds) and was an hour or so late getting done. I'm leaving to do it all again now. I'm disgusted, tired and to tell the truth, somewhat p.o.'d. I would be ashamed to own such a thing for a son. And I feel like I will be SO glad when he is but a distant memory.
I settled down, realizing demands aren't necessarily what a judge will order. I have the two recordings where he details how he is going to bankrupt me through the divorce. I also had sent a recording of him from a police report I made (statute of limitations up today, though, on charging ... and I went round and round trying to find out how to get police to forward it. That is where he screams and yells that I am "destroying people's lives" and he won't stop until I don't "have the right to walk the dirt."
I am SO sick and tired of his petty ****. He is the one who wanted a divorce; crying over having to pay for breaking his contract. SO trying to use terror and other tactics to squirm out of it, plus determined to break me in the process.
Maybe I will just send the letter TO the Court. Sort of glad I filed that motion alleging the fraud, etc I found before I received this letter. I told attorney he is punishing me ... how brilliant I am? She didn't sign off the case OR contact me, so I sent her an email and again, asserted that I wish she would have followed through with deposing him, letting me know what constitutes dissipation and what likely evidence to look for/report. I also stated again that I thought, since she pressed for final hearing that I thought she had the evidence to support her theory, but how I wished she wouldn't have done this right before the holidays and waiting til end of year would have had possible tax (refund) advantages, since he refuses to pay on judgment. I doubt I will hear from her, other than bills for outstanding balance.
Also found an excellent quote: "the object of all legal investigation is the discovery of the truth" 551 F.2d 683 Poole vs Georgia (1977)
I almost got stuck tonight because of snow and almost went off road (at slow speeds) and was an hour or so late getting done. I'm leaving to do it all again now. I'm disgusted, tired and to tell the truth, somewhat p.o.'d. I would be ashamed to own such a thing for a son. And I feel like I will be SO glad when he is but a distant memory.
And that is where I recognize the value of the things Quepasa and others have said, especially not tilting at windmills. But where I still supposedly have rights, I will now exercise them in my own defense as expecting people to do the right thing, or even their duty, hasn't yielded much of anything. And if doing so lands me in the street or worse, well I will have learned something of great future value for strategizing purposes, if nothing else.
And the economy? Based on a symbol which means nothing other than what it is supposed to represent. You can't have the levels of progress that have been achieved over the last century, in transportation, manufacturing, communications, etc ad infinitum, without a massive restructuring of what constitutes "good" and "services". What is really needed is for people to become civilized again, but we seem to be moving farther from that as we go. Most of the "jobs" out there are becoming obsolete and many truly have been for some time. But as long as you base people's lives around being somewhere 40 hours a week and make their retirement and other areas, like health, dependent on them doing that, you are just going to have people becoming more and more disenfranchised and continued in-fighting where there should be progress. I think I spent $1 on the lotto in the last year or two. Oh, I am no perfect angel. I have my vices and extravagances, but I sold too many of those tickets to think that there are lots of prizes to be had. And I guess I'm too old fashioned, believing that slow and steady progress is sustainable ... and from what I hear, a lot of "winners" end up worse off after winning. Not all, I'm sure. But enough to convince me that it's something other than "wealth" that true happiness and satisfaction in life is found in ...
I just wonder why it is that stupid stuff like spouses spending all your money, then wanting to and working on bankrupting you and so on happens with enough frequency ... but I KNOW that nobody is going to walk up and like, put the opposite into my life? Sort of humorous, seen from the right perspective.
Most of our life journeys come from a lot of steps all placed together. It's still amazing how a misstep can carry us an entirely wrong direction.
But, none of us can predict the future entirely and we can only go with the light we have available. Naivety has killed a lot of young people.
Dadda, We all wish you the best . . . . and hope that God/Karma/the Universe will lighten your load. We care . . . we just don't know how to help except to listen and pray for you. Hugs.