Narcissist Trauma Survival and Recovery Community Group
Support for those anyone who is or has been in a relationship with a narcissist. Together we are much stronger than any of us would be alone. A place for non-judgemental mutial support, advice, and comfort.
Top ten myths about introverts
Myth #1 – Introverts don’t like to talk.
This is not true. Introverts just don’t talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they won’t shut up for days.
Myth #2 – Introverts are shy.
Shyness has nothing to do with being an Introvert. Introverts are not necessarily afraid of people. What they need is a reason to interact. They don’t interact for the sake of interacting. If you want to talk to an Introvert, just start talking. Don’t worry about being polite.
Myth #3 – Introverts are rude.
Introverts often don’t see a reason for beating around the bush with social pleasantries. They want everyone to just be real and honest. Unfortunately, this is not acceptable in most settings, so Introverts can feel a lot of pressure to fit in, which they find exhausting.
Myth #4 – Introverts don’t like people.
On the contrary, Introverts intensely value the few friends they have. They can count their close friends on one hand. If you are lucky enough for an introvert to consider you a friend, you probably have a loyal ally for life. Once you have earned their respect as being a person of substance, you’re in.
Myth #5 – Introverts don’t like to go out in public.
Nonsense. Introverts just don’t like to go out in public FOR AS LONG. They also like to avoid the complications that are involved in public activities. They take in data and experiences very quickly, and as a result, don’t need to be there for long to “get it.” They’re ready to go home, recharge, and process it all. In fact, recharging is absolutely crucial for Introverts.
Myth #6 – Introverts always want to be alone.
Introverts are perfectly comfortable with their own thoughts. They think a lot. They daydream. They like to have problems to work on, puzzles to solve. But they can also get incredibly lonely if they don’t have anyone to share their discoveries with. They crave an authentic and sincere connection with ONE PERSON at a time.
Myth #7 – Introverts are weird.
Introverts are often individualists. They don’t follow the crowd. They’d prefer to be valued for their novel ways of living. They think for themselves and because of that, they often challenge the norm. They don’t make most decisions based on what is popular or trendy.
Myth #8 – Introverts are aloof nerds.
Introverts are people who primarily look inward, paying close attention to their thoughts and emotions. It’s not that they are incapable of paying attention to what is going on around them, it’s just that their inner world is much more stimulating and rewarding to them.
Myth #9 – Introverts don’t know how to relax and have fun.
Introverts typically relax at home or in nature, not in busy public places. Introverts are not thrill seekers and adrenaline junkies. If there is too much talking and noise going on, they shut down. Their brains are too sensitive to the neurotransmitter called Dopamine. Introverts and Extroverts have different dominant neuro-pathways. Just look it up.
Myth #10 – Introverts can fix themselves and become Extroverts.
Introverts cannot “fix themselves” and deserve respect for their natural temperament and contributions to the human race. In fact, one study (Silverman, 1986) showed that the percentage of Introverts increases with IQ.
I found this online and thought I would post it on here. This is me. Every ten things on here is me. I wonder how this relates to the N's in our lives. Did the ex think I was weak but he knew better than that. Does this make him misjudge me and is that how I'v been able to beat him in court?
I think I see this in a few of the women on here. I won't call names. Tell me what you think and does this fit any of you. Is this what draws the N's to us?
Myth #1 – Introverts don’t like to talk.
This is not true. Introverts just don’t talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they won’t shut up for days.
Myth #2 – Introverts are shy.
Shyness has nothing to do with being an Introvert. Introverts are not necessarily afraid of people. What they need is a reason to interact. They don’t interact for the sake of interacting. If you want to talk to an Introvert, just start talking. Don’t worry about being polite.
Myth #3 – Introverts are rude.
Introverts often don’t see a reason for beating around the bush with social pleasantries. They want everyone to just be real and honest. Unfortunately, this is not acceptable in most settings, so Introverts can feel a lot of pressure to fit in, which they find exhausting.
Myth #4 – Introverts don’t like people.
On the contrary, Introverts intensely value the few friends they have. They can count their close friends on one hand. If you are lucky enough for an introvert to consider you a friend, you probably have a loyal ally for life. Once you have earned their respect as being a person of substance, you’re in.
Myth #5 – Introverts don’t like to go out in public.
Nonsense. Introverts just don’t like to go out in public FOR AS LONG. They also like to avoid the complications that are involved in public activities. They take in data and experiences very quickly, and as a result, don’t need to be there for long to “get it.” They’re ready to go home, recharge, and process it all. In fact, recharging is absolutely crucial for Introverts.
Myth #6 – Introverts always want to be alone.
Introverts are perfectly comfortable with their own thoughts. They think a lot. They daydream. They like to have problems to work on, puzzles to solve. But they can also get incredibly lonely if they don’t have anyone to share their discoveries with. They crave an authentic and sincere connection with ONE PERSON at a time.
Myth #7 – Introverts are weird.
Introverts are often individualists. They don’t follow the crowd. They’d prefer to be valued for their novel ways of living. They think for themselves and because of that, they often challenge the norm. They don’t make most decisions based on what is popular or trendy.
Myth #8 – Introverts are aloof nerds.
Introverts are people who primarily look inward, paying close attention to their thoughts and emotions. It’s not that they are incapable of paying attention to what is going on around them, it’s just that their inner world is much more stimulating and rewarding to them.
Myth #9 – Introverts don’t know how to relax and have fun.
Introverts typically relax at home or in nature, not in busy public places. Introverts are not thrill seekers and adrenaline junkies. If there is too much talking and noise going on, they shut down. Their brains are too sensitive to the neurotransmitter called Dopamine. Introverts and Extroverts have different dominant neuro-pathways. Just look it up.
Myth #10 – Introverts can fix themselves and become Extroverts.
Introverts cannot “fix themselves” and deserve respect for their natural temperament and contributions to the human race. In fact, one study (Silverman, 1986) showed that the percentage of Introverts increases with IQ.
I found this online and thought I would post it on here. This is me. Every ten things on here is me. I wonder how this relates to the N's in our lives. Did the ex think I was weak but he knew better than that. Does this make him misjudge me and is that how I'v been able to beat him in court?
I think I see this in a few of the women on here. I won't call names. Tell me what you think and does this fit any of you. Is this what draws the N's to us?
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My 6mo twin DD's are EBF and just started rice cereal on the first. Everything has been going fine except this morning one of them had a diaper rash (lots of redness around her anus). I read this as one of the signs of an allergy. BUT I did just buy a different brand diaper yesterday (which they have used randomly before w/no issues). Do you think its the cereal or the diaper? Im ready to start...
Maybe an N would target an introvert if they assume introverts have no support system, are isolated, easily overwhelmed, therefore easily controlled by chaos and crazy making?
Good on you for beating your ex in court. That must have been a shocker for him. I think they do tend to think good traits are weaknesses, like kindness or quietness.
Still waters run deep.
Yes this is me!! I was ridiculed for needing down time and was controllable because I never got any. He would break me down with constant talk.he would take me to crowded events where I didn't know anyone and leave me alone to hang with friends.
Thanks for posting.so many others do n not get it
I do have a lot of energy and I usually pack a lot into my day. As long as I can get 15/30 minutes between activities I do quite well. When the ex was home the last time he pushed me to get things done. I didn't get my little breaks and I wasn't in good shape by mid day. He kept pushing me to do more and I finally walked away.
I now understand why every job i've had I'm told I'm unique. That's why I would rather go somewhere quiet to eat lunch. Usually Sonic because I can eat in my truck. Even on here I have said I walk my own path and that I don't follow the herd in my thinking.
The amazing thing is I'm not stupid I'm quite intelligent. WOW
Livelife I knew this would fit you to a tee. I also think you might be very sensitive along with being an introvert.I hope one more reads this and sees herself in this. Understanding what I am somehow gives me peace to be what I am with no excuses.
It will be interesting to see how many of us are introverts.
I was out the other day walking with a group of people. One of them was trying to make small talk. I would answer the questions as I always do, briefly and honestly without giving away to much of my brokenness...
After some time and some silence, which I was perfectly OK with and made him a bit uncomfortable. He said "you don't talk much do you?' I smiled, winked and said 'no'. He and I are not a match by any means, but he respects my need for quiet and I respect his need to talk and we seem to work well together. He understands I am not a pushover and is willing to take responsibility for his half of the work. All new concepts to me, so I am glad to have volunteered for this project I am working on.
I would love to post this to people at work. So may do not get how I can sit quietly and get so much done. How I can Sum up what needs to be said in a couple of sentences when it took the person before me 15-20 minuted to say.
and you are right I am an em path and overly sensitive. If someone breaks their arm I can feel the pain (really, I can pass out from the pain my brain perceives they are feeling) I cry at commercials. I cannot read or watch horror stories as my brain creates scenarios into dreams that will haunt me for weeks in sleep and flashes during the day. (my youngest has this gift also) I have this uncanny ability to see the good in people even when they are screwing me over.
Yes, no excuses for what we are. We need to accept and be happy with who we are. I will never be found at a night club. Prefer acoustic to electric instruments. Small gatherings to large parties.. and I need my time alone at the end of the day. No matter what. It is the time I have to recharge.
I guess the trick is to accept it. and then try and figure out how to live a life that still draws respect to us.
Both introverts and extroverts can do all of these things. So much of how we act and how we relate is situation specific.Put me in a meaningful conversation and I jump right in. Put me at a cocktail party and i may have trouble starting a conversation.
I have had quite a bit of professional training over the years for different jobs and also read a lot of psychology just because it interests me. One insight that I find particularly telling is the following:
Introverts tend to sit back and join a conversation a little later than extroverts. There is evidence to back up the theory that points out that it is a difference that is caused by the way their brain is working.
Introverts tend to think before they speak . . . sizing up the question/situation and answering or commenting after carefu, meditative thought.
Extroverts just jump in . . . often unconsciously interrupting . . . not to be rude . . . but because if they are really seriously thinking then their brain causes them to think out loud.
The weighing of evidence and facts, etc. that the introvert is doing solo, the extrovert does out loud and invites the group to think along with them. It is just part of their thought processing.
Both methods work. They work better if introverts and extroverts understand how the other is thinking.
I know that I have to be really aware of myself and try to wait through a lull in the converstation before jumping back in. Otherwise, I am unintentionally being rude if the introverts don't feel comfortable jumping in between extroverts. Now, if the group is all extroverts . . . everyone just jumps in without anyone even giving it a second thought as all of us extroverts are actually getting a kind of "high" off of the cross talk and we end up finishing each others' sentences. Just two different ways of thinking and communicating.
Bottom line, the world needs both introverts and extroverts. Both types of people bring skillsets that can only make the "whole" better.
However, the "co-dependency" issues and the appeasement issues that allow the N to stay in an introvert's life longer than is healthy is another layer/level to this insight.
And, for me, N's are so "shiny" and I am naturally drawn to them. Probably because my Dad was a N and I have some bizarre core beliefs and "training" from him.
I do have authentic relationships with genuine people that
I do have authentic relationships with genuine people that are easy. It's so nice... and it took a long time for them to get to know me until I needed a support group last summer. I found out who was my friends and who were not. Because I was opening up to people in my life on a deeper emotional level, my friendships became stronger with those who stuck around me.
I think "introvert" is a highly misunderstood concept. When I was very young -- like 2 -- my mother said I would just disappear for a while and she would find me alone in a room. When she asked me why I was there I asked her, "can't I just be alone for a while?" It wasn't easy to be alone when I had a twin and a sister 19 months older than us.
I do think Ns target us a lot. Maybe because they think we won't be interested in stealing the spotlight from them.
Anyway, I just wanted to say that being lured into the web of a N is not dependent upon being introverted or extroverted. Neither is being comfortable or even needing to spend time alone, In that regard, i also go to both extremes. I love to spend hours alone, even need to do that. My best time in very early in the morning, watching the sun come up and spending time writing, reading, or just self-reflecting. Yet, I have a fairly-recent (last 10-12 years) appreciation and even need to have deeply emotional connections to a special circle of both female and male friends who I connect to on both an emotional and an intellectual level. It took me years to get to that place, and I love it.
Perhaps, a relationship with a N might be an easier trap for an introvert. Yet, once the trap is sprung . . . on an introvert, or an extrovert . . . getting out of the trap and the pain of being in the trap are just as hard on an extrovert.
From what I know about my soon-to-be N's previous wives/misstresses (two out of three of them overlapped these titles and became wives after years of previous service to him) may have been somewhat introverted . . . these two had the hardest time splitting and escaping from him; while myself and the one who may be an extrovert . . . make a more definite break rapidly once we decided to cut it off. Getting to the point of gutting it off was the struggle, but she and I both made the break forcefully in the end. Did this really have to do with introvert/extrovert issues? Who knows.