Praying for you x

How is it going?

I do Finally have a job. Thank you God!! But it keeps getting rougher at home. He's taking my mail. Has been refusing for the past 7 weeks to give me any access to money. I found out this weekend he has another bank acct elsewhere while I'm eating eggs & yogurt all week long. He's watching everything I do, he even looked up land line phone recorders & some kind of cell phone recorder that records all calls recently. I feel like i'm walking on eggshells all the time. I can't go anywhere or make any calls to find any help, he has so much on lock down. I can't do it at my new job because well I just started a few weeks ago. I don't know what to do at this point. But thank you or asking. Please say a prayer for me that I'm protected & guided by God. That the right helpful people will cross my path to assist me in getting out of this. I can't do this alone.

If anybody has any helpful advice I could really use it right now lol. Thanks!

were you able to find work? That is what I did when I left an almost ten year relationship with a narcissistic live in boyfriend, I made sure I had a menial job, small apartment, a vehicle the basics. Sad state of affairs when I was so self sufficient before this disastrous choice of my very own screwed up my whole life. Hope you are doing better, I just rejoined and the site is all different.

Hope you are doing okay.... Hang in there. We were together for 5 years and i had moved to the area, finding a job closer to him. I then lived with him for 9 months. While living with him, there were times when I wanted to disappear in the relationship and from the world. And I had thoughts of suicide because of the constant gas lighting, constant negativity that I lost myself and didn't know who I was anymore. I knew there was something wrong, but I would keep praying and praying for God to give me strength, to get by the days, weeks. I secretly looked for another job. I was able to escape. I know it is hard, but you cannot confront a narcissist. If he yells at you, go gray rock method. You have to lie and pretend to be nice to him and that everything is okay. You need to find a way out. There are countless stories of people in abusive relationships and the trauma bonding that occurs which is why we stay. There are moments where it seems as though the narcissist really loves us and we want to be the ones to help. But it is not healthy for us to take the hit. These people are parasites and they will eat you up and destroy you to feed their ego. I hope you can find a good enough job to escape. You have the power in you. Don't give up!!!

Hi everybody, sorry it's taken me so long to get back on here. Thank You so much for touching base and encouraging me! To answer yalls questions I did get the money to move. It took A Lot of planning but was able to pull off leaving while he was at work. Because he watched & monitored me so closely, I didn't feel safe staying in my home state so have moved 800 miles away! Pheww that was hard leaving everything & everyone behind, but also felt it would make more difficult for him too. I had just enough to move on so it's been crazy scary worrying about finances, but I have managed to get a 'stepping stone' job to keep me afloat until I can get a better one. I know he's trying to find me, figure out where I'm at - FB, email accts he's tried to figure out the password enough that when I go to logon I have to prove who I am etc... I also know from having talked to him that he's bought a gun off a friend of his "because you never know when you need one, like to have one with me" :( It's strange being somewhere all alone with no one, but at least I don't have to live in the same level of fear everyday all day. Although I do still jump, my hearts gone to my throat the few times a neighbor has knocked on my door to be friendly. I call & check in with a couple of family members, but otherwise I've disappeared where everyone's concerned with no contact. I felt it best to be this extreme - the fewer people know the less chance of my husband finding out. I do know he's gearing up for a big nasty divorce trying to make me look like the bad guy. I have no idea what to do about that. My credit it trash now since everything was in my name & I can't afford to pay everything from the 2 of us. I'm trying to decide now whether I should pursue a divorce/settlement or just stay disappeared?