Narcissist Trauma Survival and Recovery Community Group

Support for those anyone who is or has been in a relationship with a narcissist. Together we are much stronger than any of us would be alone. A place for non-judgemental mutial support, advice, and comfort.

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Going No contact with N Mother

IDonna
IDonna
Has anyone went no contact with their N mother? Did it help you to heal? I am at the point I feel I need to go no contact with my N mother. She is making me ill. I have tried to help her but think it is time to worry about my self.
She has had a long life. She doesn't seem to care about me or my family. I think the reason I have stayed in contact so far is because of her age.. I always hoped that we could have a positive relationship.. I'd like a positiv
memory of her before she died. It is not going to happen What has helped you to heal?
deleted_user
deleted_user
Thx for the compliment. That comparison has helped me too.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I did No Contact with N-Mother long before I knew there was a term for it. I went to the free confidential counseling that my job provided. I felt so conflicted - and I told the counselor how horrible I felt but that I really didn't want to have any more communication with my mother. I just cried and cried. The counselor said that I didn't have to have anyone in my life that caused me such pain and tormented feelings. And it was such a relief - such a release of the burden from my shoulders. I guess I needed permission to not talk to her. But it was the best advise that I could have ever gotten. And it was the best thing that I ever did, was follow that advise.

My father was an N too. But I never ever got his approval - so I spent the rest of his life trying to get it. I never did get it from him. I wish I did NC with him too. I sacrificed so much of my own life and happiness by always trying to feel good enough for him. And it was around the time that he was dying of cancer - when I found the forum on here about Narcissist Victim Syndrome that ALL of the windows opened for me!

Anyway, even though other people will try to shame you for not talking to a parent, I say to heck with them. If they don't have an N in their life, then they are so damned blessed ... and have absolutely nothing to ever bitch about. I had so many people try to shame me. I've been shamed enough in my life by the N-parents. I don't accept anyone shaming me ever.

Do your life a favor and do the NC with no remorse.