Myasthenia Gravis Support Group
Myasthenia gravis (MG) is a neuromuscular disease leading to fluctuating muscle weakness and fatiguability. The hallmark of myasthenia gravis is muscle weakness that increases during periods of activity and improves after periods of rest. Although myasthenia gravis may affect any voluntary muscle, muscles that control eye and eyelid movement, facial expression, and...
For newer members (and older members who have forgotten) Friday's posts include jokes and funny stories.
Al: My suit is getting frayed.
Sal: 'Fraid of what?
An archaeologist is a person whose life is in ruins.
A rooster who wakes up after the sun rises has nothing to crow about.
My house is the warmest one on the block because the painter gave it two coats.
There was this knight who was very brave, but a little strange. While all the other knights rode horses, he preferred to ride his faithful Great Dane.
One night while returning from a trip he was caught in a violent rainstorm and sought shelter at an inn. The innkeeper hated knights and refused to give him a room. But when he saw the dog standing there soaking wet, his heart softened.
"I couldn't turn a knight out on a dog like this," he said.
pp 212-214
(obviously they don't HAVE to be VERY funny!)
Apologies if the puns do not translate well! Will try to do better next time. (Shouldn't be too hard.) :-) b.
Al: My suit is getting frayed.
Sal: 'Fraid of what?
An archaeologist is a person whose life is in ruins.
A rooster who wakes up after the sun rises has nothing to crow about.
My house is the warmest one on the block because the painter gave it two coats.
There was this knight who was very brave, but a little strange. While all the other knights rode horses, he preferred to ride his faithful Great Dane.
One night while returning from a trip he was caught in a violent rainstorm and sought shelter at an inn. The innkeeper hated knights and refused to give him a room. But when he saw the dog standing there soaking wet, his heart softened.
"I couldn't turn a knight out on a dog like this," he said.
pp 212-214
(obviously they don't HAVE to be VERY funny!)
Apologies if the puns do not translate well! Will try to do better next time. (Shouldn't be too hard.) :-) b.
"the only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not."
- Following the Equator
The question is: Why is what we'd druther do so unhealthy?
I brake for... wait... AAAH! NO BRAKES!!!!!
A fool and his money are a girl's best friend.
I'm not driving fast-just flying low.
Help starve a feeding bureaucrat.
Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.
"I is a college student."
If you can read this, I can hit my brakes and sue you.
Gravity- It's not just a good idea, it's the LAW!
Why be difficult, when with a bit of effort, you can be impossible?
Life is too complicated in the morning.
All I want is less to do, more time to do it, and higher pay for not getting it done.
The Schizophrenic: An Unauthorized Autobiography
Nobody's perfect. I'm a Nobody.
My wife said "If you go hunting or fishing one more time I'm going to leave you" ...I'm sure going to miss her.
Ask me about my vow of silence.
Today's subliminal message is: ( )
I love animals, they taste great.
EARTH FIRST! We'll stripmine the other planets later.
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
He who laughs last thinks slowest!
Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep.
Your kid may be an honor student, but you're still an IDIOT!
Smile. It's the second best thing you can do with your lips.
I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
When there's a will, I want to be in it!
It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
Forget about World Peace....visualize using your turn signal.
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Born free... taxed to death.
Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
If you smoke after sex, you're doing it too fast.
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.
A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her cupboard that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about.
For all of these years he had never thought about the box but one day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would not recover.
In trying to sort out their affairs the little old man took down the shoe box and took it to his wife's bedside. She agreed that it was time that he should know what was in the box. When he opened it he found two knitted dolls and a stack of money totaling $95,000.
He asked her about the contents.
'When we were to be married,' she said, 'my grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you I should just keep quiet and knit a doll.'
The little old man was so moved he had to fight back tears. Only two precious dolls were in the box. She had only been angry with him twice in all those years of living and loving. He almost burst with happiness.
'Honey,' he said, 'that explains the dolls, but what about all of this money? Where did it come from?'
'Oh,' she said, 'that's the money I made from selling the dolls.'
Bruce
I tried an online Chinese to English translator that came up with
"Simply don't understand..."
What we do on many Fridays is try to change the mood and have some jokes posted, something funny to brighten our day.
So, what this discussion is supposed to be is something funny to take our minds off of MG. Sorry they don't come through clearly for you. Some are plays on words that probably require an extensive knowledge of the English language.
Hope you are OK. Complaining, being funny, asking for support, as well as learning about MG are all part of what happens here.