Went two counties up & had to leave at 9:30 to be there at 10:30 at the neuro! He was a rude ass & of no help whatsoever!!! He just stared at his computer the entire time, not taking his face out of it to exhange intellect with me! He just acted like I wasn't even in the damned room!!!

I tried to tell him about my visual & hearing stuff & how my symptoms had increased in that area! And, how i was going for the MRI's of my spine but how I felt like I needed the brain added to it, & how I felt that I needed the sensory tests of my vision & hearing added to it also, because things had shown up on it about a year & a half ago!? And, that they weren't sure what it was exactly but that things had definatley shown up! And, that since things had digressed a lot since then, that maybe if we repeated those that something might show up now that might give us a clue as to insight into what was wrong with me & as to what my dx might be!

He agreed to do the MRI of the brain & they are supposed to be setting that up but it will be Friday before she/the secretary will do it!

On the other he told me to just go to an ENT for the hearing crap!!! And, on the vision, he looked at my dog & said, WELL!? CAN HE DRIVE??? Said that very smerky & rudely! As was about to make some really nasty comment or worse!? Well I said, NO!!!! lol Of course not!!! And, he said, WELL IF YOU ARE HAVING ANY KIND OF VISUAL PROBLEMS PERIOD, THEN YOU SHOULD NOT BE DRIVING! YOUR DOG CANNOT DRIVE FOR YOU SO YOU SHOULD NOT BE DRIVING!!!

AND, HE DID NOT LIKE MY DOG BEING THERE EITHER! HE WAS INSULTING--ON SOOOOO MANY LEVELS!!!!

I didn't want to see him because I knew that he was an idiot & that he did not want to be bothered with any of it because he is NOT AN MS DOC!!! NOR DOES HE WANT TO BE!!! He was very very annoyed that my RA threw it back to him!

So then I dropped off my dog at the local vet for them to baby sit him while I had my MRI's done! Got there about 12!? They started about 12:30 & finished at 2! Then they don't give you any disk or records there, so they sent me over to the main part of the hospital to medical records! Well! That was another hour!!! So now it was ! I got the disk! But my computer won't even acknowledge it!!! So I can't even look at the damned thing!!! If I could I would already know the answer!!! Damn-it!!! How frustrating!!!

Then, I went to pick up my dog & eat a bite! When I got done it was 4 & time to be at the RA so I went there! Waited an hour & a half to even get back there!

Then, they didn't have their shit together either! They had scheduled me to see the NP at 4, not only for my refills but for the results of my MRI's! They were supposed to have them from the hospital & have them there or get them when I got there either & then go over them with me! NOT!!!

1st time seeing the NP! She's okay I guess!? She made a phone call to a family doc friend of hers up there & got me a family doc/appt on the 29th at 2! She called ahead & explained about the whole MS BS & about my meds & that they are taking care of my meds & that she will not have to worry about all of that! So I finally have a PCP I guess!?

And, I have to have more labs done & was supposed to have them done by this appt.. apparently!? But she said, just wait until I see the new PCP now because she might want to add to it!? AFTER SHE BITCHED THE ENTIRE TIME AT ME FOR NOT HAVING IT DONE ALREADY! Well Kouser said that I was to have it done on my next appt... when I came back up! He did not say that I had to have it done BY then, but THEN!!!

She talked to me about the whole MS thing & about whether I had an actual dx of it yet or whether they were working on ruling it out! I told her that I did NOT have the dx on paper yet! But that Kouser said that I had it immediatly & upfront on my first visit & that other doctors had tole me the same! Told her about Hammett, & about eye specialists, & about my ENT specialists--Crawley--who I totally trust & have great faith in!!! And about what he said! That every patient that he had seen in his office presenting with my particular vision & hearing issues--as well as other symptoms--had all gone on to be dx with MS within the next 5 yrs! AND, HE'S BEEN AN ENT A VERY VERY VERY LONG TIME!!!

She said OK! And, took me wayyyy more seriously at that point! And, seemed to be somewhat sympathetic at that point!?

Got my refills! Then, made the long hour drive home!

My poor dogs were in crates for 9 freaking hours waiting on me to do all of that/this! Poor kids! AND, THEY WERE GREAT!!! NO MESSES!!! I LOVE THEM!

So right now I am waiting on my results! She is going to call me with them! She called me today to tell me about that damned PCP appt.... & scared the living bajesus out of me!!! Because I thought that she was calling to give me the MRI results!?

As soon as the phone rang I knew that it was her or them! And, my heart went straight into my throat & my gut sank! I am terrified that they are going to tell me that I have lesions in my spine! In particular, my T-spine!? And, I am trippin about that! Scared to death & nervous as hell!

I felt like yesterday was a bust for me & I WAS SOOOO DAMNED UPSET, DEPRESSED & FRUSTRATED ABOUT IT!!! I WENT TO BED IN TEARS!

BUT THEN GOD TOOK PITY ON ME & SHOWERED ME WIH BLESSINGS TODAY!

PROBABLY BECAUSE HE KNOWS THAT I WILL GET BAD RESULTS & THAT THAT WILL TOTALLY SUCK & THAT I WILL NEED ALL OF THE GOOD I GOT TODAY 10 TIMES OVER!!!??? I FEEL THAT HE SENT THE TORNADO, TO GET RID OF THESE DANGEROUS TREES AROUND MY HOUSE & IN MY YARD! AND, TO GET A NEW ROOF ON MY HOUSE BECAUSE MY OLD ONE WAS BAD! AND, THE TORNADO WAS THE ONLY WAY TO GET OTHERS TO HELP ME!

And, my neighbors got their new--not new but new to them, & wayyyy better & bigger than the one they had--church today too!!! So it was their day too! The MH looks nice! :) Now her brother can have church in there again!

And, I think that he sent me all that right now because I'm fixing to get bad news & he knew that I would need all of this other to help me through it!? Others wouldn't help or care about me or even whether I existed or not until the Tornado! It took that! Only my bestest friend cared enough to help me before that!

I had pool therapy again & will have it TR as well, at 2! It is really helping! I LOVE IT!!! That just added to my day today!!!

Today was my day!!! I was blessed! But I fear that my next one coming here won't be!?

Well! It's late here & I've had a really really long day--on top of the 9 hr day before of traveling for all that medical crap! So I am desparate need of rest, so I'm going to wrap up some chores here & go to sleep now!

THANK ALL OF YOU FOR BEING HERE & FOR LISTENING & FOR ALL OF YOUR SUPPORT!!! MAY ALL OF YOU BE GREATLY BLESSED!!!

I had to pick up m